So we've moved across the country and have no family or close friends here. Most of the activities where I might meet other moms seem to be wrapping up for the summer. Our neighbours seem really nice but she is due in July (and has a 2 year old).
I'm hoping to meet people and hopefully find someone whom I'm willing to phone in the middle of the night and who my daughter would be ok going to but I don't know if that is realistic in the next 2 months.
My DH said he would stay with DD but he doesn't want to make me go through labour on my own. While he was with me the first time, I know how he feels about hospitals and blood and i don't know how he made it through the first labour. I'm still not sure how I feel about doing it on my own. If my labour is like last time, I'm pretty sure I could do it. But every labour is different and this is a new hospital...
Advice/opinions/what are you doing?
DD1 July 2008 (41w3d)
November 2010 (13 weeks)
DD2 August 2011 (33w5d)
Is it possible to instead have someone else with you, such as hiring a doula, so your dh can stay with your dd? Or is there anyone in your families that would be willing to come out around the due date and help out with dd until the baby gets here? Is there a mommies network forum for your area, for example my forum is www.richmondmommies.com? They will continue to do mom's night out, play dates, etc through the summer. Or you can sign dd up somewhere for swim lessons or a gym or something so you can meet the other moms.
You could ask the hospital if they have a policy with bringing your children to the hospital in the event that you have no one to watch them. They usually have a waiting room filled with toys, books, and a tv. If your daughter isn't overly shy or clingy to you and hubby, then you could always see if a nurse or other staff would be willing to watch her when labour really progresses. Of course, I don't know if you get an epidural or go all natural, so of course, in the case of natural, you wouldn't want her around when the pain starts getting too bad. You could also maybe have her and hubby there in the waiting room, and a nurse watching your daughter while hubby comes to see you periodically before actual delivery if you don't want her in your room.
As for me, honestly I have NO idea what we're going to do. I have 3 kids that will HAVE to go to school, so I would need someone here to make sure they get off to school. Every year the school hands out awards to kids who have missed about 2 days or less, and so far my boys have earned it 2 years in a row, and on their way to getting it again this year. While obviously labor isn't something we can control, I'm hoping that a friend of ours who watched them last year when I had Hailey is available again this year and she'll gladly come over. I also have this issue with Hailey who is VERY shy, and VERY clingy to me and Bruce. I really don't like the fact with leaving her with ANYONE because she cries as soon as she loses sight of us, or if we're somewhere else if we put her down, she cries. She even does it with the inlaws, and while it's frustrating to me, I hate the fact of making her cry while I'm not around if that makes sense. She would eventually settle down, but I wouldn't feel very good being in labour knowing that my little girl is with someone else, and that she's probably highly upset . We try and interact her with people but the minute someone wants to hold her or we try to put her down to play, she cries. Sigh.
Good luck in your search for someone to watch her that you trust.
I totally feel you. We have zero friends/family close by. It's a huge problem. Our hospital allows children in maternity but not during labor/delivery. We've already made plans between my parents and my IL's to have one of them here at all times the few weeks leading up to my due date, so in that case we would be ok, but if I go early, we have no plan.
Luckily MIL is only a 2 hr. drive away and BIL is only 30 minutes from the hospital (we're an hour away) so I figure we'll figure something out.
I agree with the advice the other ladies have given you. Check with the hospital and find out their policy. Maybe call family and see if someone would be willing to come around your due date. Also, some places do drop-in day care so that may be worth checking into, or even sitter services. I hope you are able to figure something out.
Lenora & Chris 01.16.10
DS Brandon 05.13.07
DS CJ 10.06.11
*Co-moderator of January-June '07 and September '11*
I'm thankful that I have family around........of course in the fall all 5 kiddos will be in school so we have to have someone who can take them. My mom usually watches the kiddos while I have another...lol. However since I am a single momma this time the plan is for her to be in delivery with me.....my brother is in town as well but doesnt have a liscense. But I have enough family/friends that I think we are good.....
Thats the great thing about living at "home."
Amanda~mommy to Kodey & Kaleb 4/29/99,Cameron 4/30/00,Cheyann 10/14/03, Cole 11/16/07, and Alli 09/30/11
We are kind of in the same boat. We moved here in February not really knowing anyone and having no family here... Thankfully, we know a couple of military families who we were stationed with at our last base before DH separated from the military who live relatively close by. One has two kids and lives in the same town I will hopefully deliver at if I switch OB practices. The other has 5 kids (preggo with her 6th and due a month before me) and is 45 minutes away from our house, not sure how close to the hospital though. We know another young couple, but she has a 6 month old baby and is Slovakian and can't drive here yet... so, if we have time to go get her and her baby and bring them back to our house, that might work. We are attending a church here, but haven't met hardly anyone yet. I'm hoping this summer though (like in the next two months), I'll connect with someone else we will feel comfortable enough with to ask to watch our kids who can drive. Our first choice atm is my Slovakian friend, but that might be a tricky solution.
Hailey and our dog will be going to my parents (an hour away) for a couple of days. That being said, we were induced last time and I just called my dad and said come get the dog, and left for the hospital! Can't exactly do that with a 2 year old. We are lucky, my in laws are 5 minutes away, and we have very good friends who live 2 doors down from us, so if I go into labour on my own, either H can go next door or my MIL would come (or we would take H there) until one of my parents could come get them.
I know you just moved there but hopefully you might be able to find a.friend or make one over the next couple months. I'm just planning on having one of my 2 girlfriends be present at the labor cause honestly I don't care to see my ex while delivering. All my family lives out of state so ill be lucky if they make it in a few days after he is born.
Someone else brought up a good point for me. I have to find someone to come watch the dogs for a few days....