Hi all

[mrs. bear]

Hello, this is my first post in this thread. I've done numerous posts on numerous birth boards that I thought i'd be a part of, but it hasn't happened yet. Dh and I have been trying now for 3 years. I have totally irregular cycles and at this moment I'm going through one of my prolonged periods of bleeding. I came here because I needed to vent. Today was a tuff day. My sister told me that she's pregnant. She just had a beautiful baby girl in january and this new baby is due in may of 2010. I'm very happy for her, of course, but just feeling sad because it doesnt feel like I'll ever be a mom. Once this new baby is born there will have been a total of 4 babies born to my siblings in 3 years. I really thought that I'd be pregnant by now. I'm going crazy, I can't even imagine how you girls that have been trying for more than 3 years must feel. I couldn't help but cry today and feel a bit worthless as a woman. I can't even bleed correctly.. I started spotting back in september and now I'm having regular period type bleeding for 6 days now. It's driving me nuts!! I can't wait till my health insurance takes effect so I can go to the dr. The bleeding really makes me mad. It was just spotting at first so I started getting on my treadmill in hope of shedding some pounds and getting healthier for a baby's sake but the activity on the treadmill made my bleeding become heavier so I stopped. I'm hoping now that's it's just a period now cuz I took my provera to hopefully start it. I'm praying that by sunday this bleeding will stop! Well, I'm sorry I keep yammering on. I hope you all have better luck than I've had!

[bisksprout]

Mrs. Bear- I'm so sorry you are going through this. It sucks... I wouldn't wish this on anyone. *HUGS* I've been TTC for alsmost 5 years now. As of yesterday (because my cousin just gave birth) I'm the only one of my cousins to not have kids!!!! So, I completely understand about your sadness over your siblings kids *HUGS* It's hard to be happy for them when you are hurting so much.

This board is great... we tend to be a little bit slow at times, but the support here is wonderful. Even those that are now preggers come back and offer their support. It's nice to have them around to know that it DOES happen to those that have been trying for a VERY long time.

I think you will get some answers once your insurance kicks in and you can go to the doctor. Have you been BBT charting at all? That helps a lot, too! Made me (and my RE) realize that I just don't ovulate without a little help.

Vent away chickie, that's what we are here for

*HUGS* good luck and KUP!

[deborah74]

Hey girl, nice to meet you. Sorry you had to join us. I hope you can see a dr soon. I would go nuts living in the states and having to worry about going or not going to a dr due to insurance.... so frustrating.

I'm sure the dr will give you some answers/ideas fast at least to get the ball rolling on evening out your cycles.

Don't be shy here, anything goes in our little corner.

[mrs. bear]

thanks girls, i appreciate your responses! I had a wonderful dream yesterday. I dreamed about a baby boy. He was so beautiful and he was mine and dh's. I was looking at his birth certificate and it said october 25th. I am so hoping that this dream comes true! I keep telling myself that 2010 will be my year to finally have a baby , I don't remember seeing a year on the birth certificate but i'll be hoping and praying that it's 2010! I love dreaming about babies!

[WhiteWolf68]

Hi and so sorry it's been 3 years. /hugs

Sounds like something could be off with maybe your thyroid or something. Ever get that checked? The funny thing about our bodies is that all it takes for one little thing to be "off" and that throws a "monkey wrench" into our whole system. Losing weight is always the best thing to do, even for women who only have a few pounds to lose, it can make the world of difference when it comes to TTC. So you're on the right track there.

Here's a really good blog site I go on lots that may be of some help even though the site says "40 and over", just ignore the age. There are some really helpful articles and maybe something in there that can be of some help.

For some women, TTC can be a very long journey, the women who maintains the blog site tried for years and finally got pregnant. So there is hope...

http://infertility-fertility.blogspot.com/

Jennifer

[mrs. bear]

Thanks Jennifer, I appreciate the site! I have had my thyroid checked about 3 times and it's always fine. I really think me losing weight will help out a whole bunch. I got a little anemic after this last bleeding episode so I took a break from exercising because of fatigue and light headedness, but I'm feeling alot better now that i'm taking my iron pills twice a day so I'm getting back to it this monday!!! I just feel it in my heart that 2010 will finally be my year!

[wishing-star]

Hey, nice to meet you, Im new on here and was just reading your post. Im so sorry that your having a hard time lately, Ive been ttc for just over 2years now and like yourself Ive had to watch other family members have babies, its not that Im not happy for them it just gets me thinking when is it my turn! Dont really understand about health insurance and having to wait and see a doctor, Im from the UK and anyone who's anyone can see a doctor when ever they want, that seems so unfair. Hope you get you BFP soon sending baby dust your way

[mrs. bear]

hi wishing, yeah the health insurance thing sucks here in the states. I can go to a dr. whenever but without insurance it costs tons more money. With insurance i pay like $35.00 for a visit but without it the cost is sometimes over $100.00... and when they order blood work it drives the cost way up without insurance. But I should have insurance again by the end of this month! Good luck on your journey!! I hope we all get lucky in 2010!

[Chris_85]

I just wanted to say hello, and i feel your pain, many of the women here know what you are talking about, and remember you are not alone.
I to battle with feelings and not understanding why its not my turn yet.
My sister-in-law is pg and due in December on me and Dh's Anniversary no less. this will be their third. It has been a struggle to keep my emotions in check since i am an only child and my inlaws seem to have all the luck. I don't want to turn you thread in to a rant but i hear ya hon.
there are a lot of amazing women here, and I am sure we can all relate and vent away to each other till our faces turn blue.

Seriously I hope things get better for you, and you get your BFP soon.