BFP. Budget - Abortion.

[Pregnant. Again.]

We found out the news last week. I do not believe in abortion and could not see offering the baby for adoption. In my heart I've already become attached to this little one growing inside of me. My fiancee still does not want to talk about anything pregnancy. This matter just may break-up our happy home. (Leahgoogle.. how is it working out for you?)

[MichelleTheAuthor]

Originally Posted by Pregnant. Again.

Here is my dilemma.

I'm the mother of six beautiful children, four from a previous marriage (I'm a widow) and one with my current fiancee. We were not planning to get pregnant (shop was closed, on birth control) but just the other day found out we are expecting. Financially we can't afford this baby. I say budget, he says abortion. I've tried talking about it but an argument is all I get. How can I make my fiancee see this pregnancy as a blessing not a curse?

Sorry that you are in this delima, but on the other hand am happy that a new life has begun on the planet. Obviously, I consider a baby in utero to be a life, and a very beautiful one.

That being said, you are seeking answers for the situation you are in. If you are dead set against abortion, than you obviously have a simple choice, albeit not an easy one. You have the baby with or without him.
I too encourage you to choose adoption over abortion, and know that there are truly some great resources available if you choose to go that route. Like someone mentioned, many times, the adoptive family or organization covers the expenses of your pregnancy and birth.

Whatever happens, whatever you decide to do, just know that many women support your right to peace and happiness in your life. Whatever will allow you to sleep at night and rise the next day in complete confidence of choice,well...that's what I'd do. Follow your heart, not your conclusions.
good luck and God bless you and your family,
Michelle

[Happy Song]

I am politically pro choice and even though it is strongly against my religion that abortion even is availible I continue to be pro choice, because I know that not everyone is of my faith. I am grateful that you have choices but I would strongly urge you to make the choice that you can live live with. Paraphrasing Johnny Depp as the Great captain Jack Sparrow, "there is only what a man can do and what a man cannot do" (1st movie if you wanna hear it correctly) If you can have an abortion then you have a choice, if you cannot have an abortion then DF has a choice.

I totally agree with those who have said let it sink in. If you cannot have an abortion tell him once and leave it. Do not even discuss it, fight about it, or let it become a wedge. Be very quiet on the topic and let the pregnancy go by quietly.

I am so very sorry that you are having this issue, please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you, which ever choice you make.

[Pregnant. Again.]

Thank you all for your advice and support. I spoke to my finacee about this issue again last night and he clearly told me he doesn't want anymore children so if I choose to have this baby I'll be doing it on my own. Like I said earlier I don't support abortion (under most circumstances) and don't feel it is right for me in this situation. I would never be able to forgive myself and would always be thinking what if. So it looks like I may be the mother of six on my own.

[Allie01979]

Originally Posted by Pregnant. Again.

Thank you all for your advice and support. I spoke to my finacee about this issue again last night and he clearly told me he doesn't want anymore children so if I choose to have this baby I'll be doing it on my own. Like I said earlier I don't support abortion (under most circumstances) and don't feel it is right for me in this situation. I would never be able to forgive myself and would always be thinking what if. So it looks like I may be the mother of six on my own.

I'm sorry (((HUGS))), I'm just holding out hope for you that it's still really early in the pregnancy and he'll come around.

[AliciaD]

Originally Posted by Pregnant. Again.

Thank you all for your advice and support. I spoke to my finacee about this issue again last night and he clearly told me he doesn't want anymore children so if I choose to have this baby I'll be doing it on my own. Like I said earlier I don't support abortion (under most circumstances) and don't feel it is right for me in this situation. I would never be able to forgive myself and would always be thinking what if. So it looks like I may be the mother of six on my own.

This community is all about support. Take a look at the pregnancy and single boards, the single parent board, the birth boards, and other boards that may interest you. Please feel free to PM me anytime if you need to talk, vent, cry, laugh, whatever. Best of luck to you, hopefully your fiancee will come around

~Alicia

[mommys]

I'm sorry he is being so stubborn on this, it is not as though he didn't help create your baby. He will have some time to change his mind and hopefully he will. Otherwise he will pay child support.

[allyinthevalley]

Originally Posted by Pregnant. Again.

Thank you all for your advice and support. I spoke to my finacee about this issue again last night and he clearly told me he doesn't want anymore children so if I choose to have this baby I'll be doing it on my own. Like I said earlier I don't support abortion (under most circumstances) and don't feel it is right for me in this situation. I would never be able to forgive myself and would always be thinking what if. So it looks like I may be the mother of six on my own.

I just want to add in the old adage that, for a mother, a pregnancy becomes real as soon as she finds out about it. For a father, it doesn't become real until the child is born. At the moment your fiance is likely only thinking with his head and not his heart. When/if he hears the heartbeat, sees the ultrasound, feels the kick, and finally holds his new baby, his extreme point of view may change. Never give up your beliefs for anyone. Not even a fiance. Best of luck through all of this. When you hold your beautiful little baby in your arms, you will know that you did not make a mistake.

[mommaphoebs]

Originally Posted by ModernMother

if it were my Fiancee and he was saying abortion I wouldn't be marrying him anymore.

That's for sure!

[keaty]

-Lurker-
I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this. Maybe he will come around before or after this child is born. I've raised two children on my own and I'm not totally sure if I'm going to make it with this ones father either but I know that I will do everything in my power to take care of my children with or without their "fathers". You have taken care of your 4 children yourself before adding another one to the mix wont be that big of an issue. The preg and single & single parent boards are good but are no longer active. There are tons of single parents/newly single/no longer single parents on these boards. Hopefully things work out in the end. But you have to do what you have to do.