BFP. Budget - Abortion.

[florenceandrews]

Hi there,

As someone who has experienced abortion myself I can only advise you this...do not think that this will be a solution without emotional consequences and make sure that whatever you decide it is YOUR decision, not a coersion from someone else. Remember, you were both responsible for you becoming pregnant. If you really want to keep the baby then it is your body and pregnancy and he has to accept responsibility for helping you to get into this situation in the first place.

Having another baby will be a hard option for you both it seems but do not think that abortion will be an easy solution, it is also very hard and also something you can't take back.

I'm not trying to put you off having an abortion, I just want you to know it holds it's own long-term consequences just like having another child does. I don't know how far along you are but if you can afford to have a couple of weeks to give both options serious thought then hopefully you'll manage to come to peace with either aborting or keeping it, remember - it must be your decision!

Good luck and lots of love, be honest with your partner and listen to your gut.

Florence xx

[Leahgoogle]

Originally Posted by Pregnant. Again.

We found out the news last week. I do not believe in abortion and could not see offering the baby for adoption. In my heart I've already become attached to this little one growing inside of me. My fiancee still does not want to talk about anything pregnancy. This matter just may break-up our happy home. (Leahgoogle.. how is it working out for you?)

DH and I are OK. We are talking and functioning as normal. He still is not talking about the pregnancy directly, but will pick up things for me at the store to help my m/s. I think he is internally stressed out because of finances. We will find a way. Hopefully things will get better for you.

[my 4 blessings]

Lurker- Feb 09

I was in the same situation as you are. When I found out I was preggo with my youngest daughter ( who is now 5) her sperm donor was dead set against me having her. I went so far as to make an appointment to have the abortion. I knew this was against everything I believed in. I was so scared to loose him b/c I wanted this baby. I missed the appt b/c he wanted to run the streets from the weee hours of the night until the morning. He had the audacity to want me to reschedule. I told him this wasn't a missed dentist appt and that I couldn't and wouldn't. HE then told me " If you wanna have babies, go back home to your mother". Guess what, that's just what I did. HE eventually came around and accepted the pregnancy, but continued to stress me out ( totally different story). I look at my daughter everyday and I couldn't imagine my life without her. I have to live with the thought everyday that I almost got rid of one of the most precious gifts that was ever given to me. I still feel the guilt of almost having the procedure done and I didn't. This is definitely a decision that YOU and only YOU must make. He will either come around or he won't, but if you do it and stay with him you will only HATE him later. Even worse HATE yourself. He doesn't have to bear the emotional burden or scars that you will carry with you for the rest of your life. This is something that you will never forget. I urge you to look deeply at yourself and reassess the relationship that you are in. Fiance means that you are gonna marry this man eventually. Marriage is for better of for worse ( not the baby) bad financial situation. If he can't support you for better or for worse ( bad financial situation) now, what will happen when you do tie the knot. Just my opinion hun and hope its a little food for thought for you. Sorry so long. Take care of yourself.

[Barefoot~Mama]

It sounds like you know in your heart and mind what you need and want to do.
and

I know you are in a very stressful situation - but try to think of YOU and your BABY. Nothing else right now is as important. Take comfort in your family and friends, especially since your fiance isn't there for you.

[perkyblue]

IMO, I think that abortion is a good option in a situation like yours. However, you shouldn't do it only because your husband wants you to. If you don't feel that it's the right choice for you, you shouldn't do it, period. Abortion is something that should only be done if you are certian that it's what you want to do; otherwise, you'll be left living with regret and this is one decision that certainly can't be undone. Your husband cannot make this decision for you. I think that adoption might work better in your case if you can't afford the 7th baby, but don't want an abortion.

ETA- I just read your post that you don't want to give the baby up for adoption, either. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Hopefully your DH will come around. Surely he would rather stick around with his family and the baby that he made than leave you over this. Times will be tough for a while, but I'm sure you can make ends meet, and family is more important than money anyway; hopefully in time your DH will see it that way too.