Baby #2 Concerns

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Carolyn B's picture
Joined: 01/18/10
Posts: 460
Baby #2 Concerns

I could use a little advice/encouragement from all the BTDT mommas with more than one baby. DH and I are getting closer to TTC #2 and as excited as I am, I find myself getting nervous about my DD. The usual how am I going to love 2 like I love her? Sometimes I feel guilt that I'm going to be taking away time from her if we have a second (which we want) and I know she would love a sibling. She loves helping with the other babies at daycare. But I'm so nervous and I know it's not that big of a deal, but I still feel like this sometimes. Anyone else?

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

awww Carolyn, the love they have for their sibling just shines like nothing else! I adore when my kids hug/kiss me unexpectedly, but when they do it to each other I almost cry every time! You will be giving her a built in friend, someone who can commiserate how mean mommy & daddy are, someone who will always be there for her just like you and DH. Siblings are such a wonderful thing!

As far as not imagining you could love someone else as much - you can! Your heart just gets bigger, I promise!

lizzib45's picture
Joined: 12/06/08
Posts: 957

Carolyn- I am right there with you!

grovey2's picture
Joined: 04/08/08
Posts: 938

we're actively trying and will do a treatment in a few months and i still get those thoughts....i look at my DD and think about how my time will be taken away from her, and it makes me sad, but i know i will make time to have one on one time with her too and she's going to make a great big sister, so i think about that more and how she'll be able to "help" me with the new baby.... Smile I think it's totally normal and common

annierose's picture
Joined: 03/27/06
Posts: 333


I had a lot of those concerns with #2 and even cried quite a lot about it when I was pregnant (even though we ttc #2 intentionally). Now it's over two years later and I'm 100% confident that having a second was the best thing that ever happened to my first. My kids love each other soooo much. They squeal in delight when they see each other after just being apart for a couple of hours. They play together all the time. They learn how to deal with conflict and how to share. I always have someone willing to snuggle me. It's AWESOME! It's so awesome that we decided to have another one and #3 is due to arrive any day. So, yes, your concerns are totally normal, but you'll most likely get over them once #2 joins the family and gets past those first few hard weeks.

Joined: 04/24/11
Posts: 1253


Honestly I was so afraid of this to the point I thought about stopping at one. But when I found out I was pregnant with #2 (unexpectedly) the love for that baby was instant. And then I found out 5 weeks after that we were expecting 2 the love just doubled. It's amazing how much love you are filled with because of your children. Good luck conceiving number 2!

Joined: 06/12/12
Posts: 29

Awwww, I always knew we wanted at least two. I think there is no greater gift you can give your child than a sibling. I was worried and sad when I found out I was (unexpectedly) pregnant with #2 when #1 was only 7 months old! I felt like I stole so much of her babyhood away from her and although I do feel like I missed a good part of her babyhood I am so glad my girls are so close in age. They love each other and every time the baby gets up from a sleep the first thing she says is her sister's name. Smile

Jenni Beth's picture
Joined: 03/03/11
Posts: 1407

I'm more nervous about not getting enough sleep and having a nervous breakdown! I also worry about how I will manage my time between two kids. Glad to know I'm not alone!