DH got a job... and now I'm rethinking it

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Julz806's picture
Joined: 12/14/06
Posts: 77
DH got a job... and now I'm rethinking it

Cold feet? DH is job switching so our financial situation still won't be awesome, but much much better. Me and DH haven't really been talking babies lately. I see newborns and siblings and think I want one, but then I start thinking about the hormones of pregnancy, the hard work and rollercoaster ride of a newborn, our limited space in regard to our house and vehicles... but I feel like I need to make the decision quickly. If we have another I'd prefer to not have a big gap in ages and I would like a spring baby (I know... OCD as its finest). So I've given myself a deadline of July, but I feel it closing in on me. Why can't I make a firm decision?! :mad: I feel like I was 100% sure I wanted #1 and we TTC in full force and got pregnant right away. #2 was a surprise, but I knew I didn't want #1 to be an only child so it was going to happen regardless. So #3 feels like such a toss up. I don't feel the NEED to have one, but sometimes the desire and sometimes not. It's frustrating!! I want to be deadset one way or another.

What if I have a boy? I thought I wanted one, but I love being a mom of girls. I don't know how well I'd do with a boy. What if I decide to TTC and then freak out when I get a BFP? What if we decide not to have another and I end up regretting it?

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

hmmmm, it's a quandry isn't it! Wink All teasing aside - if you are an OCD person, make lists. Pros and Cons of having another, then weigh each item on a scale of 1-10 on whether it's important enough, add the two sides and see what comes out ahead?

I was very nervous to have a girl. It turns out that boys and girls are incredibly different but both very wonderful! Don't let that worry you, you'll do great as a mom to a boy just like I'm loving being mom to a girl! Smile You might freak out when you get your BFP, I did with #2 even though we were TTC. It happens. You will NEVER EVER regret having another. No matter what, you are a good mom and will love that child as much as #1 and #2.

pico83's picture
Joined: 09/06/06
Posts: 3014

what a situation! Personally, I'd just go for it, knowing that once baby is here I won't be able to imagine life any other way. Or try in the window you want and if it happens, great. If it doesn't then see what you feel like doing next.

I know what you mean about gender. I don't know what I'd do with a girl. But, if it happens I'll figure it out. I have two friends that come to mind. One just had a boy after 2 girls and they other is expecting a boy after 3 girls. And my mom (who has only sisters) had a boy after 3 girls. It's worked out fine for all of them. Wink

Julz806's picture
Joined: 12/14/06
Posts: 77

I'm also trying to evaluate how important the age gap issue is. I was thinking I need to make a decision before July (that's the month we would start TTC), but I'm trying to tell myself if I'm not feeling it this summer then I can just wait until next year. If we TTC this summer (assuming we get pregnant within a few months), #3 will be about 4 years younger than #2 and about 6 years younger than #1. To me, that already seems like a pretty big gap and if I decide to wait until next year that would make #3 about 5 and 7 years apart from #2 and #1.

pico83's picture
Joined: 09/06/06
Posts: 3014

All I know from my experience growing up is after you pass a 5 or 6 year gap the new baby seems almost like an only child because the others are out of the house at school (unless you home school, I guess). Good luck deciding.