DH is ready....

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blondiess4u's picture
Joined: 11/08/07
Posts: 1450
DH is ready....

Me... not so much! After a horrible last pregnancy and delivery I can't seem to wrap my head around doing it again. KWIM? Also, it's hard to go from 2 kids to 3 kids too it seems. DH seems to really want to now as he puts it..."get it done now so we can have more fun as the kids get older" Right now it's hard to do anything in the baby stage but that is the part I love. I still have a baby so maybe I am not as anxious to have another?

What would you ladies do? If DH wants one and your on the fence about it? I know most women would dream of having a man that wants more as that's what I wanted as well, but when it comes down to it. it's alittle bit scary!

Clarkton's picture
Joined: 01/07/08
Posts: 1972

It is definitely scary... I totally get you on that. Smile I know I want 3 but I also know there will be a part of me that will have a little freak out moment when the reality of it hits (if I ever get the opportunity ;))

I have an opinion on this situation though (those who really know me won't be shocked by me having an opinion, lol). I think barring extenuating circumstances (like serious health issues or you really can not afford another) then any couple stuck in the situation of one wanting one more and one being done with what they have, the one being done should give in to the one wanting. My reasoning is this, you have a situation of impass here...there is no compromise where each person gets a little of what they want...it's all or nothing so years down the road when more babies isn't an option if you had one more the parent who didn't want one more won't regret having the extra child (I think most "good" parents love all the kiddos they have once they know them so not commenting on people who may be really should never have had any kids if they weren't prepared to love whoever they were blessed with) but if you don't have one more the one who wanted may find themselves dealing with feelings of resentment. So my advice is "just do it!" Biggrin

I'm not sure if you are saying you may want another but not right now or you don't want another at all. If it's the latter...see above. If it's "not right now". I personally agree with your DH...if youre gonna do it might as well get it done. I always liked a closer spacing like 18 to 24 months between kiddos and my perspective is also coming from being a little older and not having a lot of time to wait anyway. But I can also totally understand your feelings of wanting to enjoy the current baby before you consider adding another one. I don't think it would be unreasonable for you to make DH wait a bit before adding another until your youngest is a little older.

The idea will always be scary...but I think if you take the plunge you'll be happy you did. Good luck with your decision.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

I say wait awhile longer. You have a 9 month old! TTC was the last thing on my mind when my DD was 9 months. Baby fever might hit you hardcore within the next year and waiting won't significantly impact your DH's dream of having fun. You're the one who gets to carry the baby for 9 months so, IMO, the timing should be up to you.

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

if it's just about timing, there shouldn't be harm in waiting a little bit. My kiddos are 18 months apart and we planned it that way. With #3 we are looking at a 31 months or so if we get pregnant the first month we are planning. give it a month or two, and maybe you will be ready for #3! Or even give it a year, your kids would still be close in age! Smile

Joined: 06/12/12
Posts: 29

It is so hard when you still have a baby to even think about another baby. Especially if your baby is now letting you STTN. My two are 16 months apart and while it is going to be awesome once they can really play together well, it was HARD on my body to have babies so close together. I say wait a little while and you may feel that itch for another.

blondiess4u's picture
Joined: 11/08/07
Posts: 1450

Thanks for your responses! I do feel like I want another and would love to be pregnant again right now, but I just don't know how I would handle 3 kids under 5! I am a planner and none of my kids have been "planned" more like welcomed! So maybe we will just have to have another oops! I assume it's going to happen sooner rather then later, but the idea of waiting sounds so good!