The heartache
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  1. #1
    Mega Poster isisgoddess_1's Avatar
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    Default The heartache

    Today my dh told me that if our son turns out to have autism, even a mild form, then he doesn't think he want another child. Since our daughter had the markers for Downs and worried us until the day she was born, he has been freaked out. Then she had a hear murmur that kept her in the hospital for 3 days. He could barely sleep. Now this this going on he is worried that if we have another child that something else will come about. I don't know how to reassure him that we can handle whatever comes our way. Things have been weird today between us. I don't know if he notices that I am a little upset by what he said. He as been a little more quiet.


    Joshua- 04/08/08
    Sofia- 06/10/09
    11/2012, 12/2012, 2/2013

  2. #2
    Posting Addict tink9702's Avatar
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    First - HUGE Hugs!

    Second - it sounds like you have both been able to handle a LOT already. I would def. talk to him more when you get a chance, maybe listen more than talk - find out specifics of what he's worried about? Is it the stress of having a child with "special needs", is it not being able to provide for a child who needs extra help? If you can figure out why he wouldn't be able to handle it, maybe you can calm his fears better.

    When is your son being tested and why do you think he may have a mild case of autism? My cousin's son is on the spectrum, somewhere in the moderate range. he was diagnosed early though - around 2 and the therapies he's been given are amazing. he's so much better able to relate to people, focus etc. They can do so much for kids nowadays!
    ~~Mel

    Ethan - June 21, 2009
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  3. #3
    Mega Poster isisgoddess_1's Avatar
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    Had my son been tested when he was two I am sure he would have been diagnosed. He fit the criteria except that he did not have repetative movements. His doctor wanted him tested, but dh talked me out of it saying everything was fine and I was seeing something that wasnt there. He did get services through Early Intervention for speech and now he attends a school setting and continues services. He has improved quite a bit, but new issues have come up. We now have some goid days instead of all bad ones. I am just not sure how he will be diagnosed now that he has shown some real improvement through the interventions.

    I am sure I didnt make much sense. I have started a blog for him that has some more detail them n my description here. If you want to read it it is joshsspecialjourney.blogspot.com This whole thing has been so confusing to me so sorry if the blog is still confusing.


    Joshua- 04/08/08
    Sofia- 06/10/09
    11/2012, 12/2012, 2/2013

  4. #4
    Mega Poster isisgoddess_1's Avatar
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    Oh sorry forgot your other question. He sees the neurologist May 23rd but cant get in to the developmental pediatricain until October.


    Joshua- 04/08/08
    Sofia- 06/10/09
    11/2012, 12/2012, 2/2013

  5. #5
    Posting Addict pico83's Avatar
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    It sounds like you two have dealt with a lot. You must be under so much stress and I'm sorry DH has to layer more on you. And the doctor... I can't believe they're making you wait until October! Seriously? 6 months? WTF?
    Hopefully everything will turn out fine for you. And even if he is on the spectrum, maybe once your DH gets used to the idea maybe he'll come around to the idea of another.
    big boy 12.8.07 @ 39+2 7lbs 8oz, 20.5" BFed for 13 months
    middle boy 8.12.09 @ 39+4 7lbs 9oz, 21" BFed for 13.5 months
    little boy 4.26.11 @ 38+4 6lbs 14oz, 19.5" BFed until 26mo and restarted at 30mo!
    baby boy 10.25.13 @ 41+0 8lbs 15oz, 21.5"
    8.16.12 & 12.16.12


  6. #6
    Community Host eliann's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry! You are dealing with a lot right now. I know it must hard hearing your DH say something like that, when your heart is set on having another child. Your DH might come around as he learns more about how to help your son. Wishing you all the best in his future appointments. I hope that he doesn't have Autism, but if he does, it sounds like a mild form. And its great that he has made so many improvements. My co-worker has a son that is 6 and was diagnosed with a severe case of Autism when he was 3. He works with a therapist and has improved so much since the time he was diagnosed.. I will keep your family in my thoughts!

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