So if you've read the chat threads, you know that DH and I had an argument about having children the other day. I've been hesitant to post this, because I feel like I sound like a broken record. And I've felt like maybe this forum isn't the place to vent about it since most of you have kiddos. Thanks in advance for letting me vent. Here's the story:
DH was getting all excited about buying a place and we've been looking. We found a lot places that we like, within our price range and also between our work places. However, DH went researching public schools in that area and read about how awful they all were. I know its important to research this stuff, but he was getting a little crazy about it. He then started to research private schools (because he went to private school) and they are SO expensive and NOT an option with our salaries (or future salaries). So he flat out said, "I'm sorry we just will never be able to afford children." Can I also reiterate that we are not broke...he's got a sizeable savings from inheritance, but he always says things like "We are so poor." We do live like we are poor, due to his frugalness. I've never understood that about him.
Right now we rent in a really good neighborhood, its a bit far from where we work, but we love our neighborhood. It's unfortunately really pricey to buy over here, but I think we could swing it in another 5 years. I mentioned that we should keep renting until we can afford to buy something in our area. He said that he refuses to raise a child in a rental unit. WTH? We live in a small, but cute duplex in a safe and somewhat swanky neighborhood, I don't see what's wrong with raising a kid in a rental unit as long as it had 2 bedrooms and it was safe. I also mentioned moving to the suburbs (not an idea that either of us like because we would have to drive an hour or longer to work and daycare would become an issue), but he said "completely out of the question."
Anyway, as I mentioned before he was in a bad mood that night so maybe things got a bit exaggerated. But I feel like if he is voicing all of this, then he must serious concerns about having kids. I don't want to pressure him into having a baby and then him resenting me and the baby for it. I don't know what to do ladies. I'm just going to try and put babies out of my mind for awhile and see if he changes his mind I guess. I just wish he would be as excited to start a family as I am. My feelings are just hurt. When we started dating 5 years ago, he was on board with babies and we talked a lot about having children. And he always says that he can't imagine his life without children. But on occasion he ends that sentence with "I just wish we could wait another 10 or 15 years." He just turned 30, so maybe he is going through some kind of 1/3 life crisis or something.