Hi! I'm Jess, 24, and I'm engaged to be married next fall.
The past few weeks have flown by, as my fiance and I got some unexpected news. We found out almost three weeks ago that he has testicular cancer. His urologist tried to perk us up a little, and explained it as, if you were told you were going to have cancer, and you could choose whichever type you wanted, this is the one you'd want to choose. Regardless, it's terrifying. We've gone from making appointments to meet with photographers and see venues, to scheduling surgery, cat scans, and urologists. He's scheduled to have surgery to remove the offending testicle on Wednesday, and I really hope it all ends there, but he'll be under observation for the next while to watch some of the questionable markings on his last cat scan.
So, why am I here? The fear of possible radiation, chemo, and further surgeries aren't without cause, all of which will affect fertility. We've had family members generously offer to pay whatever costs come with sperm banking and treatments, but that's really not what we had in mind when it came to having children. We've decided that we can do this now, I'm going to stop taking birth control, and just let it happen. I think we'll try up until August, if it doesn't happen by then, we'll be a little more cautious. Conceiving any later than that would leave me largely pregnant at our wedding, I'd be perfectly happy to be within the first trimester at the time of our wedding.
I never thought I'd be putting any of this into words, but there are some things that just can't be planned for! I'm sure we'll get criticism for PLANNING to get pregnant before we get married, but we both seem to stray from the traditional, and have families who are supportive of this decision.
I'll likely give an update on his condition, but won't really have more answers for another two weeks or so, at which point we'll learn whether he'll need chemo or radiation, if at all! Fingers crossed!