I used to be a frequent visitor/poster to preg.org, but I haven't been around in a while. I decided to come by here because I've suddenly been hit with a feeling of urgency to decide if/when to have #3. I have a planner personality (probably to the extent of borderline OCD), and had decided years ago that I wanted 3 kids. A few months or so after having #2 I felt like I was done. My first two are just under 2 years apart and I love their age gap. That's why the sudden urgency. I'm thinking I might really want 3 (and that would probably be it for sure because I've had 2 previous c-sections and don't want to press my luck).
The thing is, I'm a SAHM and money is TIGHT and DH hates his job. He is deligently searching for something else and he's miserable. It seems like the worst time to want to throw another baby in the mix. I don't want to get pregnant tomorrow. I just desperately want things to change so that I can at least feel like I'm "allowed" to consider it.
Like I mentioned before, I don't want a big age gap. I had originally imagined there would be a 3 year (or so) gap between #2 and #3 but that is definitely not going to happen. If we were to have #3 I think I'd like to TTC around June, so that I would (hopefully) have the baby before #2's 4th birthday.
My other thing is I'm not really a big fan of being pregnant and having surgery... But I think if I want another bad enough, it will override those feelings. And maybe is already starting to?
I've only casually mentioned it to DH because he is just not in the right state of mind to be talking babies with his stress with work. So, for now, I just have the thoughts bouncing around in my head... EVERY DAY!
I'm trying to make a decision on #3 as well and having difficulty with it all! So I'm no help, but totally understand what you are saying! I also dislike being pregnant for the most part too!
I'm guessin you live in Florida. Have you considered moving locations since the job market is tough in FL? Then again, I guess it's tough everywhere...
I don't think so. I love it here. I was born/raised here. My whole family is here. Financially, we probably would be better off to move but for me, personally, the bad outweighs the good.
I really wish things were different though. It's so hard to think I want another baby, but can't due to our budget. I hate the thought of me looking back and wishing I had been in the position to have another.
Yeah, I get that! Maybe your DH will find a new job in the next couple months and things will work out!!!!
Sorry I'm a little late on this. Just wanted to say welcome back! I am in a similar situation to you in that our life situation keeps us from TTC and I hate that I don't really even have the option. Makes me want it even more. Right now DH is having health problems and so I'm the only one working. I work as a nanny and bring DS with me. The family I work for has said they'd be ok with me bringing #2 to work with me, but I just can't see that happening. Right now DS is almost 10 months and the little boy I care for is 8 months. So they are basically like having twins. Bc of DHs situation I would have to keep working (I desperately want to be a sahm) and I just can't imagine bringing two kids to work with me. Bc Im the only one working, our finances are super tight and probably wouldn't support another baby. I just really want things to turn around quickly so that we have the option to ttc if/when we're ready.
Sorry that you're stuck in this boat of uncertainty as well. Hopefully we can both get out soon! :)
Thanks for sharing that, Caitlin. It's miserable... and I agree that it kind of makes me feel like I want it even more. I just hate that's even a reason. When I'm done, I want my reason to be that I feel done, kwim?
I totally kwym!! I hate that our current situation (which will change one day) has such a huge impact on our family. 15 yrs from now I don't want to have regrets about how many kids we have or their spacing or whatever.
Originally Posted by Julz806
Sorry you're going through this also. I hope things work out so you can ttc when you're ready!
Welcome! Sorry I read this awhile ago on my phone but haven't been around my computer to reply. I hope DH finds a job he likes soon. My DH and I have been in and out of jobs for the past year. We both recently have found full time jobs that we like. I'm wanting to TTC my first and I'm almost 31, so I feel like time is a tickin'. But with the whole job thing, DH wanted to wait, so here I am just waiting. In my brain, I knew it was the smart thing to do, but my body and heart are just telling me differently. Good Luck to you! Look forward to chatting with you while we wait!