TOC Newbie

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stargalaxys23's picture
Joined: 05/27/10
Posts: 35
TOC Newbie

Hi guys,

My name is Brandy and I'm on the TOC train. DH and I have been together for 4 years and I have a 1 year old (on the 27th) little boy! Bentley is so sweet right now and I love him dearly. I am TOC around July for an April 2013 baby. I really want a girl. DH I'm not to sure if he's ready but he's willing to go for it because he knows its something I want. However, I can't seem to really make up my mind. I'm so worried that I won't be able to handle the exhausting schedule of a newborn with a 2.3 year old running around all day. I had a c-section and the 1st few months were rough. I had a lot of painful episodes during those 3 months which contributed to the lack of sleep and ended up having gallbladder surgery 3 months after he was born. I lack some energy I think most days due to a thyroid issue but I don't want that to get in the way of a 2nd.

I wanted to get some feedback from those that have 2 children. Is it so exhausting you can't enjoy your baby? I know I'd be doing the bulk of the housework and baby work as I do now. DH isn't really helpful in that department but is supportive in everything else you can imagine. I'm working on that right now, lol.

Thanks for letting me post & what are the step to edit the signature. Pregnancy.org got a revamp since I've been here and I see where my profile is but don't see the edit my sig link!

Brandy

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

Hi and Welcome to the TOC board!

I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 1 year old. Juggling two kids is more difficult than one of course. I'd say there are three big challenges when you add a 2nd child - 1. lack of sleep 2. juggling the needs of two different kids/personalities 3.logistics about getting them ready/out of the house/at the store etc. For the lack of sleep, working something out with DH about when he will cover for you would be a good idea. Juggling two personalities and needs ends up working out. You figure it out as you go. Plus, when they start getting older they start playing together and it gets easier in some ways. Logistics of getting out of the house just take longer. I also babywear a lot more than with one because most stores only have a single seat in the carriage. I also find I can chase after my toddler more if I wear the baby! I never felt I couldn't enjoy my 2nd, but I do find myself shorter on patience because of lack of sleep and toddlers are frustrating! I also had to let go of the housework quite a bit! If someone knocked on my door right now I'd be horrified, but I'm too tired this morning to clean! I do most housework while the kids are playing.

I'm considering Baby #3 (possibly October TTC?) and am going through the same types of questions for 3 kids as yo uare for 2! Smile

stargalaxys23's picture
Joined: 05/27/10
Posts: 35

People usually say going from 1 to 2 is the hardest I think. I would imagine going from 2 to 3 wouldn't be to bad. I do want 3 kids in the end as well. I'm turning 30 in April and I feel like my clock is ticking! LoL Thanks for the welcome!

Sarah-Jean's picture
Joined: 10/25/01
Posts: 1335

I agree 1-2 kids was the hardest jump. 2-3 was easy. I think it was hard learning to divide yourself between two children of different ages and needs. I found the extra nappies, bottles and getting ready wasn't too bad... But when you have 1 child you can rest or work when they nap, it's easier to set routines around them... When you have 2 it seems like just as one goes to sleep or settles down, the other needs attention! LOL

That said, it was totally worth it. And you get used to it after a few months anyway and forget what life with 1 was like...

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2438

Welcome Brandy! My feedback won't be as helpful since I don't have kiddos yet. But it seems having your kids close together has a lot of benefits. They will be in school during the same time. If its another boy they could share clothes ( but I know you want a girl). Plus they could do the same kinds of activities. I think the hardest part would probably be the early years, and the other ladies on here seemed to have some good advice. I hear a lot of people with kids close in age say "get all the hard stuff over with at the same time." I hear ya on the being 30 and the clock ticking. I'm turning 31 in March and my clock has been pretty loud for about a year now. Good luck with your decision, look forward to chatting with you.

stargalaxys23's picture
Joined: 05/27/10
Posts: 35

Thanks Eliann. I read some of your posts and am hoping for your DH to come around. I am a firm believer that if you wait to have kids till there is a "good" time for it, It'll never happen. You have a lot of patience to wait and I hoping that for you, its not much longer.

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

forgot to comment on the clock ticking! Wink I had DS when I was 30 and my clock was crazy ticking the year I turned 29, so I hear you on that! I also feel my clock is ticking if we want to have 3 or 4 kids. I don't want to be 40 when I have the last one. I'm turning 33 next month so I feel like I have less than 5 years to be in my comfort zone age-wise.

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2438

Well you might not have noticed my new ticker, DH has agreed to June! So Yippee!!!! Seems like a lot of ladies are looking to TTC this summer or in fall. Hopefully we see some friendly familiar faces in our birth boards Wink

stargalaxys23's picture
Joined: 05/27/10
Posts: 35

Yay Eliann.. So happy for you.. Maybe my good vibes that I sent your way helped! or maybe not.. LOL.

Julz806's picture
Joined: 12/14/06
Posts: 77

"tink9702" wrote:

I'm considering Baby #3 (possibly October TTC?) and am going through the same types of questions for 3 kids as yo uare for 2! Smile

This is me. Honestly, going from 0-1 was WAY harder for me. I had baby fever in the worst way and just wanted my pregnancy to hurry up and be over with so I could have a cute baby to hold and love. Then she came, and so did the wake up call! Suddenly, I realised "Wow, babies really ARE a lot of work"... You'd think I'd know after being in childcare for years. It was a very emotional time for me. Once I got pregnant with #2, I had a more realistic view. I actually had fears/concerns that time... I knew it wasn't the walk in the park I had envisioned before #1. Long story short, I think if your expectations are realistic then you will have an easy transition.

I was actually very apprehensive about #2 (she was a surprise), and my biggest fears ended up being nothing to worry about. I was so concerned about what I was doing to #1 by giving her a sibling who gets in her space and takes up some of her attention, but I've been very fortunate that she LOVES being a big sister. From day 1, she has been like a second mommy despite the fact she wasn't even 2 at the time. I don't know if this is why, but we didn't really talk to her much about having a baby because she was so young and we knew it would just be annoying for us to talk to her about something that wasn't coming for months. So we waited until closer to the end to really explain how our lives were about to change. Then we emphasized that this was HER baby too. Even when she met her for the first time we said things like, "Look! It's your baby!" Even now, they have their moment of course, but for the most part they are so loving towards each other and DD1 loves to teach DD2 things and help her.

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