Took a little break....

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lizzib45's picture
Joined: 12/06/08
Posts: 957
Took a little break....

But here I am again. LOL! Took a little break just because- no real reason. But a possible PG got me worried and thinking all over again.(BTW took a test this AM it was BFN). And I know we have all talked about it before but seriously I am so sad thinking ahead to #2 and losing all my free time with DS. Seriously, I am not grasping that in my head very well. So talk to me, those who has 2 or more, that is normal right? Do that get better once the new baby arrived? My DS is such a big mamas boy. And clearly splitting my time with a new baby and DS, means also I wont have 100% of my time with a new baby. Such a tug o war of my brain and heart. So help me ladies feel OK with TTC sooner- rather than later!

isisgoddess_1's picture
Joined: 03/29/08
Posts: 1220

My two are 14 months apart. Not only did my son still need alot from me but he all so has a sensory disorder that made things difficult for him. Yes it was a little tough in the beginning. Yes i found it a little hard to spit my time between them as well as work full time. But it was so worth it. The are so in love with each other now. They are the best of friends and spend so much time playing together. Sofia gets sad when Josh has to school it is so cute. You make things work. It will come naturally.

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

Mine are 17months 16 days apart Smile

Yes, it was hard at first, but you quickly get into a rhythm of playing with the older one while the baby sleeps, or reading to the older one while you nurse the baby etc. As they get older they play together so much and it's a ton of fun. Also seeing how much they learn from each other is amazing! DS has learned to be a better sharer and learned empathy, and DD has learned how to talk and communicate so much faster than DS did. She's also learned more about "practical" life - putting on clothing/shoes, how to play with certain toys that are above her age range etc.

I also feel Less guilty when I need to wash the dishes, do laundry etc. They play with each other while I get some chores done. I used to feel so bad with DS when I had to do those things and he was bored. Now I don't worry about it at all.

lizzib45's picture
Joined: 12/06/08
Posts: 957

Good point on having two to play while you get things done around the house. And i do notice all my friends with 2 or more kiddos, the additonal siblings tend to learn way more quickly than the first did. good points ladies

blondiess4u's picture
Joined: 11/08/07
Posts: 1450

MY DS was 2 when I got PG with DS2. I was worried sick because Ds1 was still my baby! When DS2 came it took alot of adjustment but my DS1 did good with it and now he is really independent. Now that DS2 is almost 1, they are the best of friends, they play together all the time and I can just sit back and watch. Now, I would almost feel guilty not giving him a sibling. I love it and so do they!

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

With Tommy being old enough to get involved with the new baby, I think you'll find that you'll be able to share the new baby more than loose alone time with him. Your concern is one of the reasons we've waited this long. I wanted to have DD's babyhood be all hers and have her be older enough and independent enough that Next Baby's babyhood could be all his/hers. It won't be quite the same but with a 3+ year gap it should be closer to that ideal than say a

lizzib45's picture
Joined: 12/06/08
Posts: 957

I agree Erin. I think the losing their babyhood is a big worry. I definitely want my snuggle time and first born time in before I get to experience that with another baby. Its funny, I never had a thought as to what kind of age gap I wanted, but I am thinking the 3 year has more positives to me than negatives. They would each get more of my time and vice versa.

pico83's picture
Joined: 09/06/06
Posts: 3009

I'm sort of lurking.

Mine are 20mo and 20mo apart. You just kind of figure it out. I agree reading to the older one while nursing the younger is great. And babies nap a lot, so the older one still gets some one-on-one time. I think it helped with #3 that I got #1 a life-size baby doll. He named it and liked to take care of it while I took care of LO (DS1 was 3y4m when DS3 was born). I also read a lot of big sibling books before LO was born (both times) so he knew more what to expect. And some hospitals have a big sibling class where they meet other kids who will be big siblings, talk about babies, see the nursery, etc. He really liked that. And he might not get to be the baby anymore, but he gets to be the big brother. And that's pretty darn special.
Good luck deciding.