Wishy Washy

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eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440
Wishy Washy

So I didn't tell you ladies, but a couple of weeks ago DF and I agreed to keep preventing for awhile. I was kind of bummed out, bc I wanted to stop preventing for the honeymoon. But he and I both got our hours cut in the same week and we thought we should wait until we are more stable.

But then DF got a call on Monday to go to an interview on Thursday (today) and so Wednesday night I started talking babies again. He still seems hesitant and likes to run through the logistics of it all. I feel like if we have a baby we will make it work, but he wants it to be planned to a T before we even start trying. Like childcare, public or private grade school (even though its 5 years from now). Anyways, I just keep getting my hopes up and then he changes his mind. I feel like he could keep doing this for infinity because the time is never going to be right for him to have a baby. Plus I'm not even asking for us to "Try." I just want to stop preventing. We only have sex on weekends (lately anyway). I told him the chances of me ovulating on a weekend are slim anyway.

So my question to you all is...how did you convince your DH to go for a baby? Was it something that even needed convincing? Were they all gung ho dads to be?

Of course we should have stable jobs, but if he gets the job then I don't see the point in waiting too much longer. I guess I should stop whining until we see how the interview goes.
I have my fingers crossed that if he gets the job his mind will change.

Our men are getting lots of interviews lately! Yay!

les27's picture
Joined: 05/21/08
Posts: 840

my dh sounds EXACTLY like your DF.....he kept coming up with excuses for our first, wanted to wait 3 years after getting married, the timing wasn't right, etc.....we got married in August, and in April we went up the canyon, he got drunk, I cried a lot, told him I really wanted a baby now, he said Ok let's do it, we started trying immediately and I got pregnant that week lol

he tells me I had it all planned out that way, to get him drunk and take advantage of the situation LOL

this time around came as a complete shock, he has been against having our 2nd because the timing wasn't right LOL he came to me out of the blue and said lets start trying for our 2nd :eek: the timing actually wasn't right (LOL) for us to start right away, that is why we are waiting until January, we have to have a fall, winter or spring baby Smile

grovey2's picture
Joined: 04/08/08
Posts: 938

It took awhile for DH to be on board...considering he never wanted children. He wanted a better paying job, for us to be more fincially stable, blah blah blah....my thinking was if i waited around for all the things he wanted to get in order, we'd never have kids.... We both wanted to be married for at least a year before we had children. Then we had talked about going to Hawaii....so, we made that happen b4 kids - that was our last vacation before kids and the start of a new begining (i was of course hoping to concieve while there...but God had other plans)....I had gone off the pill in Oct and we went to Hawaii in Dec. 2007. Then it was -when it happens, it happens....and then a year went by and then we found out we'd have to do IVF and now we have our little miracle... Smile Next time will be much easier, we've already talked that we'll start the process up again right around her 1st birthday....

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

My DH was not on board for #1 until our friends started telling us they were pregnant and having kids. Plus, I hit 29 1/2 and decided 30 was when I wanted to have kids, not wait longer! He kind of had to come around.

AshG's picture
Joined: 02/02/07
Posts: 233

My DH was all for it before but ow with number three he isn't sure about it. Honestly there is never a perfect time to plan to have a kid. It's funny because until after you have kids you can't really grasp just how little control you have over almost everything. I used to be a control freak but I stopped trying to make concrete plans and ideals, you just end up having to change them anyway. Lol