My name is Roxi, and I unfortunately am joining your ranks as of 2/6/13.
(I apologise if this is TMI in the level of details)
We started TTC in Dec '12 which was cut short when the dermatologist found than one of my moles turned out to be a melona and a larger area had to be removed. We managed to DTD a couple times before the surgery and it turned out that's all it took. I got the BFP on 1/14 which based on LMP was 4 weeks. We saw and heard the heart beat on the ultrasound on 2/4, which should've been 7 weeks. The scan measurements however put the pregnancy at 6 weeks. Monday and Tuesday after the scan I had some spotting but I didn't think much of it, seeing as it was a trans-vaginal u/s.
I started to worry on Wednesday when I started getting back ache and cramps, just like when AF is coming on. I then noticed that the spotting had become bright red and thick, with some clots. That's when I tried to call my OB. Turns out he was trying to get hold of me at the same time because he'd just got my blood test results back and my progesterone levels had dropped drastically since the first round on 1/18. That coupled with the fact that he thought the yolk sac was too large, the heartbeat was too slow and the small amount of other fluid surrounding the fetus he said was a sign of an impending miscarriage.
So now its been about 36 hours since the cramps started and they are not fun. It was really really bad yesterday, the Motrin he suggested I take did nothing to help. The cramping is intermittent now but still painful, seems to be worse when I move around. The bleeding doesn't seem much heavier than my usual period.
I don't seem to be bleeding out as such, I have only changed my sanitary pad once today and only because I felt uncomfortable at having worn the same one for so long. I seem to only bleed out when I am on the toilet... Is that normal? I still haven't seen anything that could be the sac pass through. Can it take a long time? Will I know? Will I have to wait until I see the doc on the 18th before I get a real confirmation that it is over?
I'm scared of possibly having a d&c...
How long will it take for my cycle to stabilise again? Do I start tracking from Monday when I started spotting? Or yesterday when I started bleeding? Or do I wait until this is over and I have a real period?
I can't believe this happened to my first ever pregnancy. I have waited 8 years for this pregnancy. Emotionally I feel kinda ok. I mean it was a shock when the doc confirmed the miscarriage yesterday, and I cried a lot, but now I feel ok. (aside from the pain). Am I supposed to be grieving more? Is it abnormal to just accept it and want to move on? From the beginning this pregnancy felt surreal because I had very little symptoms. Am I supposed to be grieving more? Is it abnormal to just accept it and want to move on to ttc again? What did you do to keep the anxiety of subsequent pregnancies at bay?
Sorry. This turned into more of a rant than I intended.
TYIA for listening to me and for sharing any insights/advice.