1st time loss...questions...

7 posts / 0 new
Last post
rlcummings1223's picture
Last seen: 3 years 8 months ago
Joined: 09/19/11
Posts: 320
1st time loss...questions...

I don't know if this is a good place to ask questions or not, but this is the first time i've had a m/c so i'm at a loss for what to do. I've had 2 perfectly normal healthy pregnancies/babies so now i'm not sure how to handle this. I was only 4w2d along, so part of me feels like i shouldn't even be sad, like it wasn't even a baby, but it was. I'd had spotting for a few days but had that with all of my pregnancies so didn't think too much of it and was optimistic. I even went out and bought a new pair of maternity pants to get myself excited. The spotting turned to red blood, but not very much so i brushed it off. Well yesterday afternoon i had some pretty moderate cramping, and then it sorta went down from there. I starting bleeding much more heavily and the cramping persisted. I called my OB but knew that with it being so early, an u/s wouldn't show much so all they would do was blood draws for hcg levels. With 2 young children dragging them to that was sorta out of the question. So i'm dealing with this at home. My OB is out of the office until Monday so I have an appt for then. How long should I expect the bleeding to last? I'm not cramping at all anymore but the blood is still there.
Also, how long do i have to wait before I can try again? I've heard that if you try right away you can have great luck, but also that it's best to wait 3 normal cycles. We weren't necessarily trying for #3 but i wanted it to happen. Now i want it more than anything.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Last seen: 2 months 1 day ago
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6803


I am so very sorry for you loss. A loss is a loss no matter how far along you are. There is a wide variety of normal after a miscarriage. Some people bleed for a few days others for weeks or even months. With being early I would expect it to feel like a really heavy period. Many doctors recommend waiting three months before trying again but many say that is just to heal emotionally. We all can relate to wanting to try again right away. I would recommend waiting at least one cycle so if you do get pg again you have a LMP date to go by and for your body to recover a little.

Again, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Let yourself to grieve. :bigarmhug:

Alissa_Sal's picture
Last seen: 2 years 7 months ago
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427


Ditto to everything Bonita said.


Last seen: 1 year 4 months ago
Joined: 12/07/10
Posts: 2421

I'm really sorry for your loss. :bigarmhug:

I agree with everything Bonita has said and huge hugs!

Danifo's picture
Last seen: 2 years 7 months ago
Joined: 09/07/10
Posts: 1377

Sorry for your loss. It is incredible how attached we get after such a short time. The sense if loss was more than I ever expected.

We waited for AF to return and then started TTC.

aphart0's picture
Last seen: 3 years 2 weeks ago
Joined: 11/21/08
Posts: 681

I am in a very similar boat as you. I just lost my baby at 7w5d. I don't even think there was ever a baby with me since with an u/s all they could see was an empty sac, but I definitely felt connected to this little one and I will miss them everyday. The questions that I have are the same as yours. How long will the actual miscarriage take and when can we start trying again? I have 2 little ones at home too and I just know my family is not yet complete. I wish you the best as you go through this very difficult time. Just know that you are not alone and that we are all here to help you through all of this.

DannyT's picture
Last seen: 4 years 3 weeks ago
Joined: 09/11/11
Posts: 881


I am so sorry you are going through this. Having just gone through my own loss, my RE has said research shows that if you are emotionally ready that the first cycle after the M/C is higher probability of conception than waiting. He is very careful that you have to be emotionally ready first.

I have found this board a huge support and a great resource. I hope you stick around as you process.