I just found out yesterday that I am expecting......again. I am so scared. This is the 3rd time I have been pregnant since my husband and I decided to start trying to have a family in December 2010. The first was in May 2011. I had a m/c at 5 and a half weeks. It was devastating but my Doctor was amaing and re-assured me that we could try again in a few months. In October 2011 I fould out I was expecting again. This time I ended up on bed rest because I started bleeding by week 6 and the Doctor said my Beta HCG was still climbing. I ended up in the hospital and m/c at week 7. Now, I just found out I am expecting again and am terrified. Anyone else out there have any advice?
Welcome and Congratulations! The time when you are pregnant after a loss is very terrifying. There is a chat thread right below this thread that has several ladies in it going through the same thing. Feel free to join in the conversation.
Hi, and welcome! We totally understand the fear that you are going through. I'm actually currently on my third pregnancy after two losses as well (fourth pregnancy in total) and unfortunately all of us here have been through at least one loss. So first of all, huge hugs, and congrats on your pregnancy.
Has your doctor done any work with you to try to figure out why you have had a couple of losses? I know doctors usually say testing after 3 successive losses, but some will start testing after 2, especially if you press.
My doc has me on a regimen of extra folic acid, progesterone, and baby aspirin which makes sense given my test results, but also has like zero side effects other than the progesterone can exacerbate pregnancy symptoms. Maybe you could ask your doc about something like that, since it's so easy and not risky?
No advice with help on how not to worrry. I wish I knew.
I'll just say it's ok to kind of remove yourself from the pregnancy. If you can't get excited about it or even feel better pretending you're not pregnant (if possible), that is ok. Don't feel bad for gaurding yourself until you feel more comfortable and ready to embrace the pregnancy. There will come a point that you can be excited about the baby and you'll have plenty of time to bond then.
Have you had any testing done or any answers about why you had your 2 losses? Doing anything different, treatment wise, with this pregnancy?
I understand completely, feeling of detachment is seemingly frequent for me. I have had one too many losses. That I even try to deny all pregnancy symptoms all together even though df knows better. Great support always comes in handy. And is much needed sometimes more then others. Congrats and best wishes.
I hope 3rd times the charm for both of us! I've had two previous losses - a chemical and an ectopic. The ectopic got to between 7/8 weeks, but I bled the entire time...so I knew something was wrong from the get go. Like others said before me, distancing yourself is probably the easiest way to cope right now. Complete stress surrounding this pregnancy isn't good for the baby. Try to take it easy and not freak out. I know how difficult that is - even though I'm exhausted - atleast at work I have something to take my mind off of my pregnancy.
Thank you ladies for all the support and advice. I have been trying to keep it off my mind as much as possible. I am a Kindergarten Teacher and am off for the summer - which allows me to rest but harder to stay distracted. Every twinge worries me - trying so hard to be distracted. My gyno told me the standard we can't test until after the 3rd. He did give me Prometrium, (progesterone) with the last pregnancy and instructed me to start taking it as soon as I got a positive test. Unfortunetly my family Dr is on vaca until next week and the gyno is going on vaca next week so I'm still waiting to see the doctor. Working on staying positive and will definetley will talk to my doctor about your suggestions! Thanks again!
Just wanted to let you know there is a Pregnant After A Loss board here too. It has been inactive for a while but there are a handful of us over there now. You can find it here if you would like to join us.