afraid, and nervous(m/c, preg, child ment)
I never really remember if I posted in here before. But i just wanted some support, and kind words.
I had an early loss in september, that was hard on Dh and I , so ttc was put on the back burner for a while. both of us wanted to wait a bit, then I was ready or so i thought in december. and we had some heated talks about ttc, and while we both agreed we want our daughter to have siblings, I just know that he wasn't exactly ready. that was back in january
I have been really focused on my health and taking good care of myself since the miscarriage. I am so proud of myself for losing almost 50lbs.and instead of harping on Dh to ttc i have been treating myself really well.
we ran out of condoms, and was hoping to reach my goal weight, before i got pg, but now i am having tons of pg symptoms, and i am afraid to test. since i now it would be early and i can't even say with in 5 days of actual ovulation. don't remember having EWCM.
symtoms are crazy.
I want to be excited but i am nervous that i will be disappointed, and sad if i am to have another loss.
also i made the mistake of telling my Dh and my mom very soon after i found out i was pg with my loss, and then we all were very hurt.
I just don't know what to do i feel like i would be keeping a secret from my Dh if i find out I am pg again and don't tell him right away.
I guess i am afraid of Dh being upset we are Pg again ???
But nervous about finding out
I don't know really, I must sound like a nut.
I love love my daughter and being a mom, and i really want more children, but i have that small voice in my head sayn stuff, like dont get to excited yet look what happened last time.
Also for those who don't know it took us 4 + years to conceive my lo.
is a general anxiety about early pg common after experiencing a loss?