I just got the results from the testing back. No answers - no fetal tissue found in the sample. Doc didn't do the d&c because my ultrasound was already looking pretty empty and I brought in what I had passed at home. He assured me that it looked like they had plenty to work with.
What makes me mad is that 5 minutes after I got off the exam table a huge clot (and I do mean huge - much bigger than what I initially gave them) that had been in my vagina passed through. Likely it contained the tissue they needed but BECAUSE HE DIDN'T CHECK, I'll never know... and now I'm four miscarriages down, considering a very expensive donor egg pregnancy and STILL don't know if the problem is the embryos or myself!!!
I don't think I can handle another miscarriage. If I at least had the knowledge that the problem was definitely the embryo I'd feel a little safer going into the idea of a DE, but now, how do I know I'm not about to consider shelling out multiple thousands of dollars only to either have it not work, or worse...go through this loss again, because the problem is with me?
I'm kicking myself for not going right back in the office and making them take that sample as well...but I felt so beaten up, and he'd sounded so confident that they had enough tissue.
*insert bad word* I'm too old to waste all this time screwing around (no pun intended) not getting answers. It hurts every time I think of all those hopes and dreams that keep ending up literally in the toilet.
Thanks for all the hugs. I REALLY want to yell at someone.
Go outside and scream...seroiusly. Ive done that and it helps, or into a pillow. Sorry it didnt give any answers.