In late Sept I posted on here about a chem that I was going through. You ladies were incredibly supportive. I went through hell mentally - before I actually got it confirmed what I was having. My doctor was a...bad word. She treated me very cold, said "your numbers dropped, you're having a miscarriage, do you have any questions?" I started to cry sitting there, she told me to get myself together and go out front. Nice lady. Anyhow, I cried and cried when I got home..they didn't want me to drive (my mom was with me), but I needed to drive. Something, anything to get my mind off of it. That was my first child...well it was going to be. My boyfriend at the time (we haven't broken up, he proposed!!! we're getting married in May, woohoo!) did everything he could to make me feel better. I cried at work - my boss knew what was going on and let me leave early almost every day. I cried everywhere. While I think people that have issues later in their pregnancy have it worse than me, I still felt like I had lost my baby, even though it was very early. My doc acted as though I wasn't really pregnant and that hurt, because I WAS pregnant. Fast forward to the beginning of January. I had two regular periods after my chem. In January, I thought I had implantation bleeding because I bled just a little bit on the 1st. That would have been a week before my period was scheduled to start. So I waited until the 5th to take a test. Negative. Figured oh well. The next day, I started my period. This is where it gets weird. My period is usually very heavy and lasts around 4 days. This period lasted around 5 days, but..I never really stopped bleeding. I mean, the red heavy stuff stopped, but there was still old blood when I wiped. On the 14th, my fiance and I BD'd. On the 16th, I was putting up boxes that were heavy at work and I got this pain in my abdomen, like I was about to start my period. I went to the bathroom but didn't see anything out of the ordinary (the brown goo was still there, but very very light). That night when I got home and wiped, it was old brown blood. I had pains all that afternoon.
It occurred to me that this is exactly what happened in September, with the pain and the old blood. So, I took a test. Positive. Immediately.
What in the world? I had a period! I also had a negative test the day before my period started. I know the best thing to do would be go to the doctor, but for financial reasons I can't go until atleast Friday. However, part of me doesn't want to go. I'd definitely go to a different doctor, but..I think I know what's going on. I've been through this crap before. This emotional rollercoaster. It sucks so bad. When I went before, they offered no answers. I was just told to wait. I've noticed that I'm getting bitter again too. I see all my friends getting pregnant, staying pregnant and I don't want anything to do with them. It's so easy for them. They probably don't know what a chemical pregnancy is, whereas I probably know more about them than I'd care to. I can't excited, not even cautiously optimistic. When I see their ultrasounds posted on FaceBook, I really wanna just cry. That's so sad. I should be happy for them, but I can't be. I don't even like looking at strollers or car seats because it just reminds me that my body can't hold a pregnancy.
Sorry this is so long. I just needed to vent....again.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I would try to rest as much as possible until Friday and then go to the doctor.
I'm really sorry that you have to go through this. Please know that lots of women have spotting/bleeding and go on to have a healthy pregnancy. You won't really know anything concrete until your appointment on Friday. Good luck and try not to worry ...though, I know it's nearly impossible not to.
I know its hard to stop stressing over it and try to take it easy, but please try. I hope you get your answers on Friday and everything is ok. I also know how it is to be bitter-esp w the U/S Pics on facebook. I have a cousin who cant stop talking about baby names, and showing her belly and I wanna delete her and wish I can yell at her to stop, Ive already called her on it back in Oct but of course still continues to do so, I also dont want to hide her as shes family and lives so far away but...its hard to not be mean...Hugs dear, sorry I dnt have any info...put your feet up.
i had a chemical in Dec. and it does suck. You almost feel like you aren't allowed to grieve because we don't even get titled as 'pregnant'...we are only chemically pregnant. But it was a baby, it was a life, it was yours and you can be sad and frustrated. It's hard to even try to be optimisitc in these situations but it's very possible that you could be pregnant. If you aren't having anymore bleeding and the test is positive it may be. we were able to get pg right after the chemical but i live in terror pretty much every time i go to the bathroom because i know something will go wrong. I have to wait until Feb to get confirmation that it isn't ectopic. So yes, you can be sad, yes you can be pessimistic to guard yourself, but yes you should get to a doctor and get some hcg blood draws. You'll probably have to do 2 of them to tell whats going on but with my doc the first visit is an appt with a co pay and all, and the second i just walked into the lab, got a draw, and walked out. You def. need to find a new doctor though because your old one sounds like an absolute B word. KUP!!
I talked with the doc office - they can't see me until Monday. The nurse is supposed to call me back, however that has never happened at ANY doctor I've ever been too. I get really irritated with nurses - most of 'em act like they can't be bothered. Anyhow, the lady I did get to talk too said that as long as I'm not cramping, then the old brown stuff is okay. And actually, today it's gone. However, I'm still concerned as to why I had a period. I don't see many promising posts on other websites about people that got a + right after a period. I keep testing, just to make sure that line isn't getting any lighter. I should take out stock in e.p.t. I posted this on my blog too: I don't have a whole lot of support. I can't tell my dad I'm pregnant because I'm not married. My mom knew immediately and I just found out she was talking smack with my brother because I'm overweight. Apparently they think I'm doomed to have miscarriages until I get skinny. Great. Just what I needed. Ugh. I'm so moody.
Big hugs! Sorry you do not have a lot of support. Feel free to stick around here on the Pregnant after a loss support thread. Also feel free to join a birth board.
Brown bleeding really is not a problem, it is the bright red or pink stuff that you need to look out for. I have had some spotting during all of my pgs. many woman do have a period during their pg and everything turns out fine.
So sorry about the weight comments. I am not exactly a twig either and hate hearing things about it from my supper skinny family.
All day yesterday I didn't have any discharge, then I talked to the nurse and she reassured me. This morning I get up and BAM pink slimy stuff. I stared at the tp sooo long. Not again. After yesterday I let myself have some sort of hope. It wasn't much, but it was there. I actually thought I might be okay. I want to curl up in a ball and cry.