Another chem (m/c poss preg ment)

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Another chem (m/c poss preg ment)

In late Sept I posted on here about a chem that I was going through. You ladies were incredibly supportive. I went through hell mentally - before I actually got it confirmed what I was having. My doctor was a...bad word. She treated me very cold, said "your numbers dropped, you're having a miscarriage, do you have any questions?" I started to cry sitting there, she told me to get myself together and go out front. Nice lady. Anyhow, I cried and cried when I got home..they didn't want me to drive (my mom was with me), but I needed to drive. Something, anything to get my mind off of it. That was my first child...well it was going to be. My boyfriend at the time (we haven't broken up, he proposed!!! we're getting married in May, woohoo!) did everything he could to make me feel better. I cried at work - my boss knew what was going on and let me leave early almost every day. I cried everywhere. While I think people that have issues later in their pregnancy have it worse than me, I still felt like I had lost my baby, even though it was very early. My doc acted as though I wasn't really pregnant and that hurt, because I WAS pregnant. Fast forward to the beginning of January. I had two regular periods after my chem. In January, I thought I had implantation bleeding because I bled just a little bit on the 1st. That would have been a week before my period was scheduled to start. So I waited until the 5th to take a test. Negative. Figured oh well. The next day, I started my period. This is where it gets weird. My period is usually very heavy and lasts around 4 days. This period lasted around 5 days, but..I never really stopped bleeding. I mean, the red heavy stuff stopped, but there was still old blood when I wiped. On the 14th, my fiance and I BD'd. On the 16th, I was putting up boxes that were heavy at work and I got this pain in my abdomen, like I was about to start my period. I went to the bathroom but didn't see anything out of the ordinary (the brown goo was still there, but very very light). That night when I got home and wiped, it was old brown blood. I had pains all that afternoon.
It occurred to me that this is exactly what happened in September, with the pain and the old blood. So, I took a test. Positive. Immediately.
What in the world? I had a period! I also had a negative test the day before my period started. I know the best thing to do would be go to the doctor, but for financial reasons I can't go until atleast Friday. However, part of me doesn't want to go. I'd definitely go to a different doctor, but..I think I know what's going on. I've been through this crap before. This emotional rollercoaster. It sucks so bad. When I went before, they offered no answers. I was just told to wait. I've noticed that I'm getting bitter again too. I see all my friends getting pregnant, staying pregnant and I don't want anything to do with them. It's so easy for them. They probably don't know what a chemical pregnancy is, whereas I probably know more about them than I'd care to. I can't excited, not even cautiously optimistic. When I see their ultrasounds posted on FaceBook, I really wanna just cry. That's so sad. I should be happy for them, but I can't be. I don't even like looking at strollers or car seats because it just reminds me that my body can't hold a pregnancy.
Sorry this is so long. I just needed to vent....again.

AlyssaEimers's picture
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:bigarmhug: I am so sorry you are going through this. I would try to rest as much as possible until Friday and then go to the doctor.

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"AlyssaEimers" wrote:

:bigarmhug: I am so sorry you are going through this. I would try to rest as much as possible until Friday and then go to the doctor.

Ditto Bonita.

I'm really sorry that you have to go through this. Please know that lots of women have spotting/bleeding and go on to have a healthy pregnancy. You won't really know anything concrete until your appointment on Friday. Good luck and try not to worry ...though, I know it's nearly impossible not to. :bigarmhug:

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I know its hard to stop stressing over it and try to take it easy, but please try. I hope you get your answers on Friday and everything is ok. I also know how it is to be bitter-esp w the U/S Pics on facebook. I have a cousin who cant stop talking about baby names, and showing her belly and I wanna delete her and wish I can yell at her to stop, Ive already called her on it back in Oct but of course still continues to do so, I also dont want to hide her as shes family and lives so far away but...its hard to not be mean...Hugs dear, sorry I dnt have any info...put your feet up.

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i had a chemical in Dec. and it does suck. You almost feel like you aren't allowed to grieve because we don't even get titled as 'pregnant'...we are only chemically pregnant. But it was a baby, it was a life, it was yours and you can be sad and frustrated. It's hard to even try to be optimisitc in these situations but it's very possible that you could be pregnant. If you aren't having anymore bleeding and the test is positive it may be. we were able to get pg right after the chemical but i live in terror pretty much every time i go to the bathroom because i know something will go wrong. I have to wait until Feb to get confirmation that it isn't ectopic. So yes, you can be sad, yes you can be pessimistic to guard yourself, but yes you should get to a doctor and get some hcg blood draws. You'll probably have to do 2 of them to tell whats going on but with my doc the first visit is an appt with a co pay and all, and the second i just walked into the lab, got a draw, and walked out. You def. need to find a new doctor though because your old one sounds like an absolute B word. KUP!!

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:bigarmhug: so so sorry.

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I talked with the doc office - they can't see me until Monday. The nurse is supposed to call me back, however that has never happened at ANY doctor I've ever been too. I get really irritated with nurses - most of 'em act like they can't be bothered. Anyhow, the lady I did get to talk too said that as long as I'm not cramping, then the old brown stuff is okay. And actually, today it's gone. However, I'm still concerned as to why I had a period. I don't see many promising posts on other websites about people that got a + right after a period. I keep testing, just to make sure that line isn't getting any lighter. I should take out stock in e.p.t. I posted this on my blog too: I don't have a whole lot of support. I can't tell my dad I'm pregnant because I'm not married. My mom knew immediately and I just found out she was talking smack with my brother because I'm overweight. Apparently they think I'm doomed to have miscarriages until I get skinny. Great. Just what I needed. Ugh. I'm so moody.

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Big hugs! Sorry you do not have a lot of support. Feel free to stick around here on the Pregnant after a loss support thread. Also feel free to join a birth board.

Brown bleeding really is not a problem, it is the bright red or pink stuff that you need to look out for. I have had some spotting during all of my pgs. many woman do have a period during their pg and everything turns out fine.

So sorry about the weight comments. I am not exactly a twig either and hate hearing things about it from my supper skinny family.

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I am sorry that you still don't have any answers. Hopefully on Monday you will have some more answers. I hope in the mean time your lines keep getting darker. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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All day yesterday I didn't have any discharge, then I talked to the nurse and she reassured me. This morning I get up and BAM pink slimy stuff. I stared at the tp sooo long. Not again. After yesterday I let myself have some sort of hope. It wasn't much, but it was there. I actually thought I might be okay. I want to curl up in a ball and cry.

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I am right there with you. I will have no spotting for most of the day and then bam, it's there again. My emotions are on a huge rollercoaster. I have no idea whether or not to be happy or sad. As hard as it is (and it's not likely going to happen) I am going to try and ignore the fact that I am pregnant until my appointment on Wednesday. I almost wish I had never taken a test and been one of the people on "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant". But for now we just have to wait and see what happens and try our best not to stress out over all of it.

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:bigarmhug:
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope this is just normal spotting and that your little bean hangs in there. Smile I know how emotionally draining it is, my last m/c was similar where I was having spotting on and off for over a week with no definite answers from anyone. It was torture. Hang in there, and if having a cry is what you need then go for it.

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To both of you: what kind of spotting are/ were you having? Mines been mostly brown and with the exception of early this morning (once) its been absent. It looks like... (tmi) snot. I don't feel any cramping. I want to be optimistic because this is a bit different than before. That was red and it was more of a flow plus I had cramping. However, I can't be optimistic because no matter how different it is, there's still something there.

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With my m/c I had a little bit of brown streaks in my underwear on a Sunday. On Monday it was definite brown discharge. By Tuesday I was bleeding red.

Right now (again I have no idea what is going on) I had brown tinged discharge on Tuesday and have had it off and on since then. It seems like it is just normal clear discharge with a little brown in it. Whereas before with the m/c it was actual brown discharge. I hope that makes sense.

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"aphart0" wrote:

With my m/c I had a little bit of brown streaks in my underwear on a Sunday. On Monday it was definite brown discharge. By Tuesday I was bleeding red.

Right now (again I have no idea what is going on) I had brown tinged discharge on Tuesday and have had it off and on since then. It seems like it is just normal clear discharge with a little brown in it. Whereas before with the m/c it was actual brown discharge. I hope that makes sense.

That makes perfect sense. When I had my m/c I started spotting pink. I found out I was pregnant on Friday night. Monday morning I had pink when I wiped - went to Urgent Care - and by that night it had gotten heavier and more red. This that I'm having now is different. It was a definite brown discharge on Monday. That's also when I found out I was pregnant. (Which, like I mentioned, is strange anyway cuz AF had visited about 9 days before that). Tuesday and Wednesday I had light brown spotting, only when I wiped..and like you said it was clear but brown tinged. Yesterday I had some very early in the morning, then nothing the rest of the day. This morning, nothing at first, then I had a ...I don't even know how to explain it. Kinda like a string of clear goo, but had a pink string inside. It wasn't very much, and I may have stared at it so long that it seems like more now. That sounds confusing even to me and I'm writing it! Every time I've gone to the bathroom since then, there's been nothing.

I'm glad I have someone to talk too. I hope your ultrasound comes out great! I have an appt Monday, but I don't think they are doing an u/s. I don't even know really how to date the baby. My last "real" AF was Dec 6th, so by the time I go to the doc, I'd be 7 weeks. But since I had an AF on the 6th of January and then after that, tested positive, I'm a little confused as to how far along I actually am. But regardless, good luck with yours! I'm sure I'll spend the weekend considering every bad thing that could possibly happen with mine. Everyone tells me I worry too much about things. This is no exception.

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Girl, if you dont worry about things, that means you arent normal after what has happened in the past, at least thats what my OBs office tells me, they say they would worry about me and question my mind if i wasnt worrying! I hope things turn out ok for you. I hate the wait...good luck, hugs

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Well... its over. Everything was fine yesterday and when I went to go to bed, I used the potty and there was bright red blood and a bunch of it. I told my mom, who switched subjects and I half attempted to wake up my fiance, but he was knocked out cold with Nyquil. So, I spent the night hugging on my dog and bawling. Same as last time. I'm having some light cramping so far. The blood this morning is seriously flowing. Guess Ill update my siggy with ANOTHER cp. I don't understand why my body won't hold a pregnancy. What is wrong with me? I feel like I keep letting my fiance down. All I could do this morning was sob over and over that I was sorry.

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:bigarmhug: thinking of you

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:bigarmhug: I'm so sorry. Sad

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Doc appt today ay one. Part of me wants to cancel - I don't want any "official" bad news. But the other part is hoping they'll treat me differently this time and maybe Ill get some answers instead of being brushed off. Ill be by myself, everyone has to work today. Maybe that'll be better anyway.

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I am sorry that you have to go to your appointment today alone. But hopefully they will treat you better and you can get some answers and some closure. I wish you the best today.

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Sorry for what you're going through. KUP on how your appointment went. :bigarmhug: