Feeling overwhelmingly paranoid! *PG mentioned*

The Pregnant after loss board seems dead and I apologize for posting here. I hope that its ok, I am feeling so incredibly nervous the past few days. I thought after the birth of my youngest if I ever became pregnant again the fear of loss would be gone but it almost feels worse this time then with him. I don't really feel pregnant haven't for a few days. About 4dpo I started feeling "butterflies" in my belly and then lots of other raging "symptoms" but every "symptom" is gone now even the butterflies. I have my first visit Wednesday and I hope he will do an early ultrasound to calm my fears and I really really hope we see a flickering heart!! Thank you so much for letting me vent here! I hope that is ok that I did!! I always found this to be such a great place of support I hope thats ok!

Mary,

First, congratulations on your pregnancy! We certainly understand the fear of being pregnant after a loss. Unfortunately, in my experience, the nervousness never truly goes away once you've been through a m/c. I wouldn't really put too much thought in to symptoms right now since it's still very early. Plus, it's very normal for your symptoms to come and go. I know it's really hard to not worry, though, so I understand. My only bit of advice is to just try and enjoy every moment (good and the bad) because being pregnant is an amazing blessing and worrying won't change anything so you might as well be happy, right? Congrats again and huge hugs!! :D

Mary - I am nervous too. Its just not the same innocent joy I had last time. I'm trying to trust my body and think positive. This board has been a godsend to me. Hang around. I'll also see you on the Sept. Board. There seems to be a few of us recently pg due in sept. We can support each other.

Congrats :) I didn't feel better until after I went for my 12 week u/s (when I found out that I'd had a loss). They did book an early u/s because of my loss and I did have an earlier one because of heavy bleeding and although I was reassured that everything was ok up until that point, I was not ressured about the rest of the pregnancy. Going into my 12 week one, I was a bundle of nerves and the relief I felt when the tech proceded through the measurements and we could see a baby was incredible :) After that I was no more anxious about my pregnancy than I was with my first one.

Don't worry too much about symptoms. Mine were very similar between my pregnancies and my loss.

i hear ya. I have my first appt today and i'm hoping she'll do a blood draw so at least maybe a high HCG number will calm my fears. I know it's too early for an u/s and she usually won't do them until about 8 weeks so you are guaranteed a HB if everything is ok. I don't think the fear of a m/c will ever go away. I had 2 totally normal pregnancies and one loss and that loss has made me worry so so so so much. Hopefully everything keeps progressing and none of us have to find ourselves on this board again. It's a great place for support but nobody WANTS to be here.

First, I like your name :) Second, CONGRATS! :D Third, what you're feeling is perfectly normal and totally understandable. Hang in there and take it one day at a time, one hour at a time if you have to. :bigarmhug:

~Mary

Thanks ladies, I felt so much better just getting the words out! My husband is supportive but he doesn't really get where my worry comes from. I guess I took it alot harder then him. I appreciate all the kind words and advice!

Mary I love your name too :)