loss ment, some graphic details
It was a very long day I went in at 8 am to get started. I was on the OB wing in an OB room kinda separated off from the others, still the last place I wanted to be. They put in the cytotec first dose at 9 am thinking it wouldnt take too long. I got an epidural after that that made me very comfortable. 4 hrs later nothing so she puts in another dose. I start feeling some tightening but no pain. So at 4 they put in another dose of cytotec and I did start feeling cramping after a few hrs with that so they gave me a bolis of epi fluid. I was warned things would happen quick one minute no baby and the next the baby would just whoosh out. And thats what happened finally at 7:30. They pulled back my covers I was scare to do it myself in case the baby wasnt intact, thankfully he or she was but I couldnt see baby bc I hadnt delivered the placenta yet I tried pushing but nothing but clots came out. She eventually clipped the baby's cord and brought him or her to me. She held the baby as he was soft much softer than I thought he/she would be. My precious little baby looked absolutely perfect 10 fingers, 10 toes, perfect facial features, ears, etc. It was also bigger than I imagined (well longer anyway but very skinny). We couldnt really determine boy or girl as both sexes have a rod like appendage sticking out its the penis in boys and clitoris in girls and though I know one points up and one points out it was hard for any of us to tell, but the testing will for sure. I was determined not to cry through my one time I was ever going to get to see my baby and I didnt. I cooed over baby just like I would have with a full term, after all it was still my baby. Dh had a very hard time with it he looked but not up close like I did I basically had him/her on my lap and dh was standing next to me. Then they took baby away bc I was bleeding so much they were getting worried. My placenta would not come out. My MW has them give me more cytotec and called in the OB on call who is always at the hospital when she delivers. It was awful I kept bleeding a lot and they kept reaching in bc they could feel the placenta right near my cervix but it wasnt coming detached. I really wonder if my placenta wasnt the cause of the loss. The OB had to get a speculum and a stretcher thing they use in surgeries so he could see in me to see the placenta, then he reached in, felt like his whole hand, to try to grab out the placenta. Dh basically had to hold me on the bed it was that painful even with an epidural. They finally got it out all in one piece. I lose over a 1000 grams of blood at their last count and went down 2 points on my iron level. I was very close to being put to sleep in the OR and having a d&c on top of everything else. After that my bleeding slowed considerably and is still pretty light. I didnt get to go home until the next day at 12:30 I just wanted out of that place. Wanted to go home to my kids. Dh was a real trooper but I felt so bad for him, hes not a crier but he was crying for me even though I basically held it together the whole time. I was shell shocked mostly. We decided to have testing done on the baby, basic pathology and if our insurance will cover it choromosonal testing as well. They will also check the placenta. My gut feeling is for some reason my water broke and that wont probably show on the testing but it might show why it broke my Mw said like placental abnormalities, etc. It was the worst thing I have ever been through in my life. Just plain awful. I miss my baby. Its like I have a hole in my heart and my womb. My stomach immediately deflated. I just feel empty. I have no idea how long the testing will take.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Tiffany. Glad the bleeding finally slowed down. Rest up and take good care of yourself.
I am truly sorry for your loss. There are no words....just ((((((HUGS))))))). I agree with Mary, try to rest and take good care of yourself.
Tiffany I am so sorry that you've had to go through all of this. There really is just nothing worse. It sounds like you are an incredibly strong woman to get through it the way you did. Rest up and take care and know we're here for you. Sending hugs and thoughts and prayers your way sweetie.
Tiffany, I am thinking of you during these hard times. I am so sorry you had to go through this.
I am so very sorry.
This is such a tragedy and I am so sorry. You are so lucky to have a loving family in this time of grief. I am sorry.
I am so very sorry. Please take care of yourself!