I thought I'd introduce myself. Thank you Christa and Lynn for telling me about this board. My name is Rachel and I very recently had a miscarriage. I went in for an u/s last monday. I should have been 11 wks and the baby only measured 7 wks. I never got to hear a hb. I miscarried on my own the next day (12/4). I'm handling it really well, I've been using this site and the internet to help me get through it. It has really helped me to talk about it, both IRL and virtually. This was my 4th pregnancy, which followed three uncomplicated pregnancies. I feel very fortunate to have the three wonderful children that I do. Because of my history this was unexpected and I've gained an enormous amount of respect for anyone who's had a miscarriage before. It's been almost a week and I feel ready to move on and try again. I feel like my body (and brain) had already prepared me for what was happening. I'm just waiting for my body to return to normal and to get an ok from the doctor. I just gathered up the courage to change my signature this morning and I wasn't sure what date to put for losing my angel? What date did you use? The age of the baby, when you found out, or when you miscarried?
I'm thankful to have a group to join and I look forward to sharing our journeys together.
With my losses I always use the gestation and date at which they were lost. If I ever feel compelled to explain further, I might say at what gestation I discovered they had passed or stopped developing. I try and keep it simple though.
I used the gestation when I experienced the loss. For example, with my first loss I found out via u/s at 11.5 wks that baby had stopped growing sometime in the previous 2 wks. We actually saw a h/b on u/s at 7.5 wks and then it was gone at 11.5 wks. Baby measured about 9.5 wks but my symptoms were still going strong and had only started a slight decline at about 10.5 wks. So who's to say that baby didn't pass until closer to 10.5 or 11.5 wks but had slowed growth at the end. I think it's really a personal decision what marker you want to use and no need to explain to anyone. I chose to use 11.5 wks b/c I didn't really anticipate anything was wrong prior to the u/s and was under the assumption all was well so I was fully hit with the loss that day. That was when I first experienced the loss of my child and the date that is burned in my memory. I had a D&C 1 week later at 12.5 wks.
With my second, a natural m/c, I started to have a pink discharge on Saturday evening which progressively increased until I natural m/c early the following Tuesday morning. That pregnancy was a surprise and I didn't know exactly how far along I was (had to be either 5 or 7 wks). I really think it was 7 wks based on the darkness of my initial test. Anyway, I had virtually no symtoms with that pregnancy and so was not super surprised when I started to have pink discharge. I didn't even entertain the thought that it could be normal pregnancy spotting and knew it was only a matter of time. I used the date of the natural m/c as the date of loss but likely baby never really developed.
Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope things get back to normal fairly quickly for you since you are feeling ready to try again.