My sister told me there was a forum on this site that dealt with loss, and I'm glad I found it.
On March 24 I went and did an ultrasound because I was having abdominal cramping. The radiologist had me do a pregnancy test, but did not tell me the results. Instead she called me on the phone after I left the office and informed me I had an incomplete abortion and would have to do a D&C.
I met with the GYN and he did not agree. So over a week and a half I did 3 blood hcg tests (721, 666, 793). With the last level at 793 we were hopeful, but the doctor told me since we still did not know the location of the fetus, I should be on the lookout for bleeding and cramping.
Thursday night I started cramping like I was getting my period, and when i went to the restroom, there was blood. I went to the emergency room at the hospital at midnight and stayed there until I was admitted Friday morning at 9:30.
Based on the two doctors that saw me and the fact that I was bleeding, they came to the conclusion I was losing the baby. I did an ultrasound, and it showed nothing in my tubes or uterus, and only showed fluid in my pelvis, which was not much of an issue, because of the amount of fluid that was there.
They checked my blood count and it was low: 8.5 on average....when normal is 12. So they ordered another blood hcg test. Saturday they informed me that the result came back at 50. I have lost my little angel. They think it was a tubal pregnancy or an early pregnancy that could not continue.
I know you all can relate to this, and I just need to talk to someone.
Im heart broken, saddened, frustrated, angry, bitter. And now I feel absolute anxiety and fear when I think of ttc again. Suppose this happens again?? I really dont think I could go through this again.
I was discharged yesterday, and I have to do another blood test on Tuesday and take it back to the hospital for a follow up to make sure the hcg levels have fallen below 1.
KryssyD- ((((BIG HUGS))))
I am so sorry you are going through this. I also found out I was having a m/c yesterday and I just wanted to say that I think your feelings are normal. I had a m/c in November as well, and I know there were no words to make me feel better then. It just helped having people I could express myself freely to. The ladies here are great support.
I am here if you ever want to chat.
I'm so, so sorry. I know how heartbreaking my loss was and am just so sad for you. There aren't any words that can take away the pain. I will just say time does help as you work through the grief and one day you will likely reach a point where your desire to try again will outweigh the fear. Just take the time you need, one day at a time.
I'm so very sorry for your loss
Your situation sounds very similar to mine in some ways, though they finally did find a fetus in or near my tube (at first they thought it was just a cyst on my ovary that kept getting bigger). I also had fluid in my pelvis/abdominal cavity.
So glad you found this forum for support. We're here for you.
I am so so sorry!!! I just found out my baby was gone last Monday with a ultrasound. No one told me until
Tuesday but I knew. I was ten weeks... Never had any problems. It was a huge shock.
Today I had a d&c done.
I am so sorry you are all going through something like this. I'm trying to find hope and acceptance, but its not easy and its not helping that I'm surrounded by children daily where I live...with 2 pregnant women.
I'm sleeping a lot and I'm still weak...guess cause of my blood count...and just the shock and pain of losing my child. I keep thinking about the possible gender and the names we decided on long ago.
I pray this is the end of it and that the test Tuesday will show hcg levels below 1...so I can TRY to move on.
it's so hard when u are around pregnant women... I have a lot of gfs that are pregnant and one even found out today after I had my d&c that she's having twins... I'm
Happy for all
My friends but it hurts knowing I'm suppose to be pregnant too and now I'm not.... I'm scared to death this is going to happen again I don't know if I can take the heart ache again.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
This board has been an amazing source of comfort during my losses and I hope you are able to find some comfort here as well. ((((HUGS))))
I don't know how you feel about it, but when we lost our baby we decided to name him/her. We didn't know the gender so we chose a gender neutral name. For me it helped a lot, because it was our baby, a part of our family. Something you might want to consider.
Hang in there, time does heal all wounds even if it doesn't feel that way now.