m/c mentioned. No Heartbeat

25 posts / 0 new
Last post
Joined: 10/06/09
Posts: 183
m/c mentioned. No Heartbeat

Looks like our tiny one stopped not long after our first ultrasound. D&C tomorrow at 8:30 so that we can determine if this is chromosomal or something else going on.

I'm sure I'll stop crying eventually.

zero for four and counting. How often can a heart break?

Joined: 06/18/11
Posts: 1425

Carole,

I am so sorry for your loss.

Joined: 02/24/11
Posts: 1651

Carole im sooo sorry !! Oh man im def going to pray for you and your family tonight ! Please keep me posted on how you are feeling !

yellow.rose.of.canada's picture
Joined: 01/13/10
Posts: 1173

I am so sorry, Carole. My heart breaks for you.

DannyT's picture
Joined: 09/11/11
Posts: 881

So sorry Carole, you are in my heart.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6561

I am so very, very sorry. :bigarmhug:

rlcummings1223's picture
Joined: 09/19/11
Posts: 320

I'm so so sorry. I know loss's are incredibly hard to bear. Sad

Joined: 12/07/10
Posts: 2421

Oh, Carole, I am so very sorry for your loss. It is so unfair that you're having to go through this again. Please take care of yourself and know that you don't have to go through this alone.

:bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug:

Danifo's picture
Joined: 09/07/10
Posts: 1377

:bigarmhug: I'm so sorry. I hope that they can give you some answers.

belindab's picture
Joined: 06/15/02
Posts: 1033

I am so so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you. I really hope they can give you some answers. You are in my prayers. {{{HUGS}}}

Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 208

I am so sorry for your loss, you are in my prayers!:bigarmhug:

Joined: 10/06/09
Posts: 183

Thank you all so much for your support. Doc gave me misoprostyl (spelling?) to take vaginally the night before to start the process rolling. Apparently I'm in the 3% that responds extremely well to that drug, as I had already miscarried by the time of the d&c. Fortunately I had some idea what was going on, and used a hat that they had given me for a urine study to catch what I could and brought it in for the karyotyping. Doc thought there was enough tissue to use. *fingers crossed*

I have now gone through the gamut of pregnancy symptoms with my losses... I had labor pains with my first m/c, morning sickness with my third, and with this one, I felt my plug fall out and then had my water break in the middle of the living room. None of which were to the extent of a full term pregnancy, but still. Sure would be nice to end, just once, with a real baby.

My prediction (for what it's worth) is that this one was a boy, and there was nothing wrong with him. Will be interesting to find out if my guess is right.

DH went to the drug store to get the meds for me and had to wait an hour. Next to him was a mom with 6 kids who spent the entire time yelling at her kids and telling them how she was going to beat them once she got them home. You can imagine how well he was coping with that. Then the pharmacist told him that our insurance declined to fill the script. He nearly came unglued...turned out it only cost $9, so he just paid it so he could get out of there before doing someone bodily harm.

I'm not making any definite decisions right now - it's too soon, painful to consider or discuss right now, and we have about 3 weeks before we get our test results back, but I'm not sure that I'm willing to do this again. When do you say "enough?" and concede that something just wasn't meant to be? I know DH has the idea of a donor egg still lurking in the back of his mind, but if this pg was normal, then that doesn't bode well for any egg unless we can find a cause.

I have to say that I LOVE the doc I was with for this one. He's not offering false hope but he is also not just writing us off, automatically putting it to age related factors or anything else. To have two pregnancies fail at almost the exact same stage makes me feel like something else is going on.

So for now, I'm kicking back at home relaxing. Before they realized I didn't need the d&c they wanted me to avoid strenuous activity for 2 weeks. I don't know if that holds true for a m/c or not, but my coworker had already told me not to come back until next week and I've decided it's a good idea emotionally if not physically. My job is very strenuous both physically and emotionally - I suspect I walk at least 3 miles a day minimum at work. Plus, I don't know if y'all have noticed it, but hospitals are full of pregnant people. (yes, I'm being sarcastic...) I'm not up to doing my work and hearing the occupational therapists who sit behind me chatter on and on and on about their pregnancies just yet.

Joined: 10/06/09
Posts: 183

Thank you all so much for your support. Doc gave me misoprostyl (spelling?) to take vaginally the night before to start the process rolling. Apparently I'm in the 3% that responds extremely well to that drug, as I had already miscarried by the time of the d&c. Fortunately I had some idea what was going on, and used a hat that they had given me for a urine study to catch what I could and brought it in for the karyotyping. Doc thought there was enough tissue to use. *fingers crossed*

I have now gone through the gamut of pregnancy symptoms with my losses... I had labor pains with my first m/c, morning sickness with my third, and with this one, I felt my plug fall out and then had my water break in the middle of the living room. None of which were to the extent of a full term pregnancy, but still. Sure would be nice to end, just once, with a real baby.

My prediction (for what it's worth) is that this one was a boy, and there was nothing wrong with him. Will be interesting to find out if my guess is right.

DH went to the drug store to get the meds for me and had to wait an hour. Next to him was a mom with 6 kids who spent the entire time yelling at her kids and telling them how she was going to beat them once she got them home. You can imagine how well he was coping with that. Then the pharmacist told him that our insurance declined to fill the script. He nearly came unglued...turned out it only cost $9, so he just paid it so he could get out of there before doing someone bodily harm.

I'm not making any definite decisions right now - it's too soon, painful to consider or discuss right now, and we have about 3 weeks before we get our test results back, but I'm not sure that I'm willing to do this again. When do you say "enough?" and concede that something just wasn't meant to be? I know DH has the idea of a donor egg still lurking in the back of his mind, but if this pg was normal, then that doesn't bode well for any egg unless we can find a cause.

I have to say that I LOVE the doc I was with for this one. He's not offering false hope but he is also not just writing us off, automatically putting it to age related factors or anything else. To have two pregnancies fail at almost the exact same stage makes me feel like something else is going on.

So for now, I'm kicking back at home relaxing. Before they realized I didn't need the d&c they wanted me to avoid strenuous activity for 2 weeks. I don't know if that holds true for a m/c or not, but my coworker had already told me not to come back until next week and I've decided it's a good idea emotionally if not physically. My job is very strenuous both physically and emotionally - I suspect I walk at least 3 miles a day minimum at work. Plus, I don't know if y'all have noticed it, but hospitals are full of pregnant people. (yes, I'm being sarcastic...) I'm not up to doing my work and hearing the occupational therapists who sit behind me chatter on and on and on about their pregnancies just yet.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6561

:bigarmhug:

WhiteWolf68's picture
Joined: 02/06/09
Posts: 505

I am truly sorry for your loss, I've had 2 losses in the past 4 years and my last loss was a T-13.

Hugs

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

Oh Carole. So sorry. :bigarmhug: :comfort:

^Somehow the above seems so inadequate.^

Let me know if there is anything I can do. Anything at all.

~Mary

Joined: 07/30/06
Posts: 208

:bigarmhug:My heart just breaks for you I am so so sorry again!!

Joined: 12/07/10
Posts: 2421

Carole, I am truly sorry that you have to go through this again. My heart is breaking for you. I'm glad you're taking some time off to focus on yourself. I know the road to recovery will be a tough one but you WILL get there. I wish there was something I can say or do that will take away some of the pain....

I agree with WhiteWolf. Have you had any testing done? It seems highly suspect that you keep having early losses. I recently had bunch of testing done and everything came back normal except for one blood clotting disorder (mthfr - single copy). The treatment for this gene mutation is a daily dose of baby aspirin, extra folic acid, vitamin b6 and 12. Even though this might not be the cause of my losses, I still feel a little better about moving forward because at least we're doing something different. You know? I'm sure you don't even want to think about next time right now but I'm glad you have a doctor who is very interested in helping you figure out the cause of your losses.

I'm always here for you so please feel free to PM me if you want to vent or talk.

:bigarmhug: :bigarmhug:

indianajones's picture
Joined: 01/21/07
Posts: 1486

Oh Carole, I am so sorry. This is not fair. Sad Sending warm thoughts your way.

Be good to yourself.

:bigarmhug:

Joined: 10/06/09
Posts: 183

Thank you again ladies. WhiteWolf and Jina - yes I had high risk testing prior to this pregnancy that found nothing, including some blood taken for experimental studies that our high risk center is doing.

I'm doing much better I guess. I spent most of the day yesterday obsessively searching the internet and being depressed at both the wait and the expense of adopting a child. I guess I just don't get paying living expenses for an expectant birthmom - how the heck was she living prior to the pregnancy? The thought of paying those type of fees leaves a bad taste in my mouth - babies shouldn't be for sale. IVF with a donor egg looks to be the cheapest way to go - which just blows me away. I never dreamed that it was that way. The thought of going through yet another first 9 weeks, expecting, at any minute, to have the rug jerked out from under me doesn't sound appealing either. LOL Gee, no surprise there, huh?!

I wonder if there are any anti-anxiety meds that are safe first trimester? IF I ever do this again, I think I'll need some mother's helpers to survive.

Pardon my wandering post....my thoughts are a bit scattered. I promised myself that I'd be productive today, but so far I've half watched two episodes of Bones and eaten breakfast, and it's almost 11 am.

Going to make myself get in the shower and get myself socially presentable, and then decide how much of my hair I'm going to get cut off this afternoon. It's to my butt right now, so I have plenty of wiggle room.

Then maybe I'll start researching for our honeymoon that we never took. We still have gift money sitting in an account for it, we're finally in our new house, I have 4 weeks of vacation at work, and no need to save it for maternity leave supplementation at this point, so we should get going on it and just go, instead of continued waffling over where to go.

AlyssaEimers's picture
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6561

When considering cost, remember to take into consideration tax brakes. My BIL adopted 3 beautiful boys from the Ukraine a few years ago. They received a $50,000 tax credit that was enough to finish paying off their house this past year.

More Hugs! :bigarmhug::bigarmhug:

Joined: 12/07/10
Posts: 2421

Carole, I'm sorry the tests didn't give your any answers. Sad

I was surprised to find that IVF is cheaper than adoption as well. I haven't looked into the tax credit like Bonita mentioned so that's something to think about. I've never heard of paying for living expenses for the birth mother...but, I guess if she's giving up her child due to not being able to support herself...I can see why she would need help but, yeah, I would be a little hesitant too.

Anyway, I think it's a great idea to get away on a belated Honeymoon. I hope you guys pick a nice place and have a wonderful time!

:bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug:

kat83's picture
Joined: 04/27/07
Posts: 631

Im so sorry

DannyT's picture
Joined: 09/11/11
Posts: 881

I think a belated honeymoon sounds fun. WE did one a few years back and it was great for our relationship.

kadibug's picture
Joined: 07/17/11
Posts: 247

mrschris - so sorry to hear about your loss. the heart breaks don't get any easier, do they? you feel like "why me?!" hang in there. it sounds like relaxation is good medicine.

i also looked into meds. not just anxiety while pg, but antidepressants while ttc. i haven't found anything (or was told anything) that is safe.