I am so completely confused. A little over a week ago I discovered that my baby's heart had stopped beating at 9 weeks and that I had a missed abortion. The doc said he didn't think I'd miscarry on my own and that if I did it would take a long time and he was concerned about me bleeding too much. So I had a d&c two days later. It was horrible to have to have something done but I was glad that at least things could be over with and I could begin to heal. Only after that I got an infection (or something) and ended up in the hospital for the weekend on IV antibiotics. The doc says he's still not sure it was an infection but I'm immune compromised and so it's highly likely it was an infection that they couldn't find due to stress on my body and all. Anyway, as if that's not confusing enough, I go back today for an ultrasound to see how things are going and it shows that I have retained tissue. Now they can't tell for sure if it's tissue or just blood. They think it's blood because it's less dense or something than tissue. It's all of the same consistency too. He said it's a lot of blood though and I've barely bled at all since the procedure. I've just had brown blood, more like spotting since Saturday now (Thursday today). The doc is saying I may need another d&c in a few weeks if I don't pass the tissue or clots on my own.
I just don't understand how this could happen. He said he was really surprised by it because he was really careful and felt so confident they got everything. He said it's a blind procedure so it can happen but that he felt all around and couldn't feel anything attached. He said he is really confident there's no placenta in there at all but that it could be blood. I guess no matter what it is they do a d&c if it doesn't pass on it's own. I thought I'd be able to heal and start thinking about TTC again but now it's like I'm facing the m/c all over again. Of course I'm still dealing with the horrible pain of losing the baby but knowing that my body isn't where it should be just makes it all so much harder. I feel like we'll never be able to try again and I'm really worried about scar tissue or another infection if I have to have another procedure. I'm even more worried about infection since I'm at very high risk and it already happened once.
Does anyone have any experience with this at all? Is there anything I can do other than moving around that might help me get rid of the tissue or blood? Doc said I can go back to normal activity and I'm going back to work next week but I'm so worried I'm just going to start gushing blood or passing clots in public somewhere. It's hard enough to go back to work and be in public again without worrying about this too.
I am so sorry for all you are going through. I am not sure what it is called, but I know that there is a medicine that you can take that will cause your body to expel the remains of a pregnancy. Some people do that in place of a D&C. If surgery is not the best option for you that might be worth looking into. I can not imagine how difficult this must be for you.
Leah, I'm really sorry you are going through this. A miscarriage is by far one of the most painful things a woman will experience in her lifetime, I think. It will take some time but you will get through this.
I remember after my first loss, I had a hard time being in public. Even grocery shopping was a vryy surreal experience for me. I felt so exposed and raw. I felt like people were staring at me and pitying me. Of course they had no idea what I was going through but that didn't stop me from being angry. I had to leave the store and go have a good cry in the car. As much as you want to be strong and move forward, please allow yourself time to heal. I was so hard on myself. I felt like I should be able to move forward and would get angry and frustrated with myself when I would have bad days. I will say that it took a few months for me to start feeling human again after each loss. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that what you're feeling is completely normal and it's okay to grieve.
As for the retained tissue, unfortunately, it does happen. I have heard of women who have had to get a second D&C. What Bonita is talking about is Cytotec. It's a med that will help you expel tissue from your uterus. I took it for my second m/c. You should ask your doctor about it. Maybe you could try it out before getting another D&C.
I know you must feel like this is a never ending nightmare but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
DS - 1/31/13 - My IVF Miracle and the love of my life!!
MC 8/24/10 @ 12w
MC 1/31/11 @ 11w6d
MC 8/18/11 @ 8w1d - ID Twins!
Leah, I was so sorry to hear of you loss and to hear that you are having such a hard time. It is never easy, but when there are complications like what you are going through it seems especially cruel.
I had retained tissue after a D&C with my loss, my doctor was checking my blood to make sure my HCG was going down and it was but it was very slow and I just kept bleeding - but it wasn't heavy AF like bleeding, it was blood streaked discharge. Somedays it was very heavy and somedays it was so light that I thought it was going away. I kept putting off having an U/S because I really thought it would go away. I dealt with it for 8 wks and finally went in for an U/S and there was tissue still in there. The Dr offered Cytotec but I was SO READY to put it behind me I opted for another D&C (my doc said Cytotec only works about 50% of the time when dealing with retained tissue). I cannot tell you how much better I felt after the second D&C, it may have just been mental to finally be moving on but the next day I felt 100 times lighter and even felt better physically than I had in months! And even better, I had AF arrive exactly 4 wks post the second D&C so we could start trying again.
I am glad your doc is keeping a close eye on you, take care of yourself and you may want to consider some sort of natural iron supplement as all the bleeding did get my levels down pretty low. I wish you all the best and if you have any more questions feel free to PM me.
Thank you ladies so much for all of your heartfelt responses. I had a better day today as I made a decision about what direction to go in. I talked and cried with DH about it a lot last night. How this process will never end it seems and I feel like it's being prolonged with no answers, and I need answers. Also, since I have an immune condition how no medical issue I have is exactly normal. I decided that just a regular OB was not what I needed right now. I love my OB and I think he's fantastic and he's very kind and good at what he does and I really like him. But...he's used to seeing normal people with normal situations. I'm not normal and this situation isn't either. He's admitted he's confused too.
So today I called my RE today that helped me get the answers that I needed in order to get pregnant. I was just curious if I could come back to him and what they thought. I was a little afraid they would say "sorry you're under the care of another doc we don't want to step on their toes" because it seems like docs say that a lot. Instead, his staff was horrified. They thought this situation was so awful. My mom called them for me cause I was afraid I couldn't do it without crying and I'm just so exhausted of explaining this to people. She didn't leave any details out. She even told them how I was in pre surgery for FOUR hours before my d&c and wasn't given anything to calm me down while I was crying so hard I was screaming. His staff was just appalled at the whole thing. They said they'd call me back in a few minutes. When they did call me back which was just a few minutes later they expressed their sympathy and got all choked up. They even passed the phone around to the other nurses in the office so they could all tell me how surprised they were and how sad they were to hear this happened after my struggles. That made a world of a difference to me that they cared so much and had no problem telling me. My OB's office is great but they pretty much hid their faces from me and wouldn't make eye contact like they didn't know how to deal with it. Obviously, these people deal with this all too often.
They made me an appt right away and said to absolutely NOT have another d&c. They said if it's necessary to have it done, then he can do the surgery and do it so that my future fertility is not compromised. They were really concerned about the post op infection and said they'd get it figured out and would do what they could to make sure I could get pregnant again and asap. So...I feel relieved. I believe they'll take care of things the best they can and as quickly as possible.
Also as a side note and TMI warning. Yesterday I had some greenish discharge along with some more blood from the d&c and that confirmed to me that I really did have a post op infection. Thankfully I'm on antibiotics and have been feeling fine so I think I'm okay for now but I am concerned about scarring. At least I know I'm in the right hands and that I'll be taken care of and taken seriously from now on and also treated with respect for what I'm going through. I finally relaxed today for the first time in nearly two weeks. Sorry this was so long! I just felt like I had so much to say!
Leah, I'm so glad that you got the support and medical information you needed. You've had a terrible experience. Hugs
Leah - I am so very sorry for your loss and the difficult path you are on. I am happy that you have reached out to a source to provide the care and answer you need. Thoughts and prayers are with you.