New to TTCAL **m/c ment, and long winded**
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Thread: New to TTCAL **m/c ment, and long winded**

  1. #1
    Super Poster browntown's Avatar
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    Default New to TTCAL **m/c ment, and long winded**

    Hey everyone,

    I'm Jess, and was part of the April 2013 board recently. We were thrilled to be expecting our first, and felt so lucky to have conceived after just a couple months for trying. I got my first BFP on August 5th, and the symptoms followed not long after. I had no reason to believe that I wasn't about to experience a run-of-the mill pregnancy.

    I had random spotting and light bleeding throughout, but kept getting positive tests, and everyone kept assuring me that the type of bleeding I was experiencing was normal. After a bit of a scare, I went to the ER and my first ultrasound was ordered. At the time of the first u/s, I would have been around 6 weeks, and knew what I expected to see on the screen. The screen showed nothing. I was confused, because I chart and was very sure of my dates. Following that u/s, I went for a couple rounds of blood work, the first beta hcg level was over 33,000, the second was over 82,000. The doctor was pleased with these numbers and scheduled another u/s.

    This past Monday, I went for the u/s, knowing that I was almost 9 weeks pregnant. At this point, a baby would be visible, and the heartbeat would be easy to find. My heart sank when I looked at the screen. No baby, just a couple of empty sacs measuring 6 weeks. Why would my hcg levels be so high without an embryo?

    After receiving the report, my GP called and instructed me to go to one of the local hospitals, register through emerg, and an OB would see me right away... she was expecting me. The sense of urgency scared the crap out of me. She was nice, and informative. She said that the ultrasounds and the hcg levels conflicted, seeing the two together led them to believe that I might be experiencing a molar pregnancy. The absence of an embryo, my dates, and the fact that I wasn't experiencing any pain makes them think that I am not experiencing an ectopic pregnancy. No matter how they looked at it, it was clear that this pregnancy would end, and they felt better about doing a D&C to minimize the risk of losing too much blood if it is, in fact, a molar pregnancy.

    I had only ever read about molar pregnancies briefly because of their link to abnormally high hcg levels (mine were in a normal range though). I didn't realize how serious they could be, and that if this is what I'm going through, we'll have to wait a full year before TTC again for my own health. It could be a partial molar pregnancy, which means we'd have to wait 6 months. I never thought I'd wish for a "normal miscarriage", but I'm crossing my fingers for that now, we're very anxious to start our family, and being told to wait for medical reasons would be a blow to both of us. DH recently beat testicular cancer, and while he's in remission now, he won't be considered cancer free until 5 years have passed. It's a very real possibility that the cancer could come back and claim his only working testicle, so we're working against the clock.

    I went for my D&C today. I'm grateful that it was under general anaesthesia, I didn't want to know what was going on. I felt relief waking up, hearing that the procedure went well, and that the physical part of the healing can truly begin so I can work on the rest of me. I still feel a little shell shocked. I felt for a while that something wasn't going right with the pregnancy, and that it just wasn't going to work out in our favour. I'm just ready to move on.

    I'm sure that once we're given the go ahead to TTC again, it'll stir up some of the emotions I've been going through this week. I have a new appreciation, and a different type of sympathy for other women who have experienced losses. I've always considered myself to be a very logical person, like there's a reason for everything and you just take it as it comes. I've also never been one to outwardly express my sadness. When I cry, it's usually in sympathy for somebody else. I surprised myself by throwing a bit of a pity party on Tuesday when I got the news about the D&C. I waited until I got home and cried my face off for half an hour.

    Although it's still fresh, I already feel better that the healing process can begin. DH and I can start looking forward to brighter things, and hope that we get a healthy pregnancy soon.

    I'm looking forward to hanging around the TTCAL board for a while and getting to know the rest of you ladies. I hope that your stays here are short and sweet.

  2. #2
    Super Poster sandy1007's Avatar
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    Hey Jess just wanted to tell you again how sorry I am that you are here but I am glad you came here for support vs giving up on preg.org. there are a couple of us from the April board that are hanging out here for now. Everybody seems really nice on this board so I think we've all came to a good place

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    Mega Poster Clarkton's Avatar
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    Hi Jess,

    I'm glad you are feeling some relief getting past the d&c. Pregnancy loss is a tough thing and is compounded by having to deal with both the pysical and emotional aspects of the loss. With my first loss especially, which also ended with me needing a d&c as my body wasn't doing anything to clear itself, I found I didn't really process the emotional part until after I got the physical taken care of. How scary about the possibility of a molar pregnancy...do you know when they will be able to give you more information? I'll be hoping for the best result for you so you and DH can TTC again quickly. Please KUP

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    Super Poster sandy1007's Avatar
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    Just wanted to let you know my experience. They suspected my 2nd loss was a molar preg but things ended up coming back just fine. Just don't want you to worry too much.

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    Posting Addict pico83's Avatar
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    As you might know, I went through something very similar almost a month ago. At 9 weeks I had an u/s with an empty sac measuring 7 weeks and my HCG was over 100,000 (it was 71,000 at 7 weeks). I'm sure they are doing pathology on the tissue and will be able to tell you soon whether it was partial molar or not. But, with a blighted ovum (especially two) the HCG can be high because the body doesn't know anything is wrong with the pregnancy. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, especially with all the worry. I hope everything comes back normal and you can TTC soon.
    big boy 12.8.07 @ 39+2 7lbs 8oz, 20.5" BFed for 13 months
    middle boy 8.12.09 @ 39+4 7lbs 9oz, 21" BFed for 13.5 months
    little boy 4.26.11 @ 38+4 6lbs 14oz, 19.5" BFed until 26mo and again 30-37mo
    baby boy 10.25.13 @ 41+0 8lbs 15oz, 21.5"
    8.16.12 & 12.16.12

    TTA, but would welcome a surprise


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    Jess, I'm really glad you landed here on this board. It's helped me through my losses, everyone here is very supportive. I hope what you had wasn't a molar pregnancy.. I hope you can heal and get back to TTC when you're ready and when your body is ready. Wishing you luck!

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    So sorry for your loss!

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    Super Poster browntown's Avatar
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    So, last night, I was in emerg for 6 hours. I had fever, chills, uncontrollable shaking, nausea, dizziness, and told DH I needed to go to the hospital around 11PM. The doctor did an internal exam, said she could see a little blood as well as pus (TMI, sorry). That, combined with all of my other symptoms spelled infection. I spent a couple of hours hooked up to IV antibiotics and so they could get some fluids into me. What a night.

    You should SEE my arms and hands! From their attempts to hook up the IV for the D&C, and the multiple attempts last night, I look like a pin cushion. I am so bruised. I'm going to try to go back to work tomorrow, so I had to go out and buy some long sleeved shirts today. I can't go to work looking like I do right now, I work at an addiction treatment center. Everyone is good humoured there, but I would expect a few wise cracks if they saw my poor arms right now.

    I feel a lot better today, I have to start taking some oral antibiotics as well.. I hope this whole mess is over soon. Thanks for all of the support ladies.
    Jessica (26) - TTC Plans on hold
    Losses 13.09.12 & 10.04.13
    FF Chart

  9. #9
    Mega Poster Clarkton's Avatar
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    Oh that totally sucks! I'm sorry you are going through all of this. ((hugs))

    How awful about your bruising too. That is not a good place to have to go to work with that, for sure!

    ~Lynn

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    Posting Addict pico83's Avatar
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    what an ordeal! I hope your bruises heal quickly, and that everything else does, too.
    By the way, any idea why you have to wait 4-6 weeks for the pathology report? That seems like a really long time. It can't actually take that long to do, because I had mine within a week (we had a little partial molar concern, too, because of the high HCG). I really hope everything comes together for you soon so you can put all of this behind you.
    big boy 12.8.07 @ 39+2 7lbs 8oz, 20.5" BFed for 13 months
    middle boy 8.12.09 @ 39+4 7lbs 9oz, 21" BFed for 13.5 months
    little boy 4.26.11 @ 38+4 6lbs 14oz, 19.5" BFed until 26mo and again 30-37mo
    baby boy 10.25.13 @ 41+0 8lbs 15oz, 21.5"
    8.16.12 & 12.16.12

    TTA, but would welcome a surprise


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