New to TTCAL **m/c ment, and long winded**

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browntown's picture
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New to TTCAL **m/c ment, and long winded**

Hey everyone,

I'm Jess, and was part of the April 2013 board recently. We were thrilled to be expecting our first, and felt so lucky to have conceived after just a couple months for trying. I got my first BFP on August 5th, and the symptoms followed not long after. I had no reason to believe that I wasn't about to experience a run-of-the mill pregnancy.

I had random spotting and light bleeding throughout, but kept getting positive tests, and everyone kept assuring me that the type of bleeding I was experiencing was normal. After a bit of a scare, I went to the ER and my first ultrasound was ordered. At the time of the first u/s, I would have been around 6 weeks, and knew what I expected to see on the screen. The screen showed nothing. I was confused, because I chart and was very sure of my dates. Following that u/s, I went for a couple rounds of blood work, the first beta hcg level was over 33,000, the second was over 82,000. The doctor was pleased with these numbers and scheduled another u/s.

This past Monday, I went for the u/s, knowing that I was almost 9 weeks pregnant. At this point, a baby would be visible, and the heartbeat would be easy to find. My heart sank when I looked at the screen. No baby, just a couple of empty sacs measuring 6 weeks. Why would my hcg levels be so high without an embryo?

After receiving the report, my GP called and instructed me to go to one of the local hospitals, register through emerg, and an OB would see me right away... she was expecting me. The sense of urgency scared the crap out of me. She was nice, and informative. She said that the ultrasounds and the hcg levels conflicted, seeing the two together led them to believe that I might be experiencing a molar pregnancy. The absence of an embryo, my dates, and the fact that I wasn't experiencing any pain makes them think that I am not experiencing an ectopic pregnancy. No matter how they looked at it, it was clear that this pregnancy would end, and they felt better about doing a D&C to minimize the risk of losing too much blood if it is, in fact, a molar pregnancy.

I had only ever read about molar pregnancies briefly because of their link to abnormally high hcg levels (mine were in a normal range though). I didn't realize how serious they could be, and that if this is what I'm going through, we'll have to wait a full year before TTC again for my own health. It could be a partial molar pregnancy, which means we'd have to wait 6 months. I never thought I'd wish for a "normal miscarriage", but I'm crossing my fingers for that now, we're very anxious to start our family, and being told to wait for medical reasons would be a blow to both of us. DH recently beat testicular cancer, and while he's in remission now, he won't be considered cancer free until 5 years have passed. It's a very real possibility that the cancer could come back and claim his only working testicle, so we're working against the clock.

I went for my D&C today. I'm grateful that it was under general anaesthesia, I didn't want to know what was going on. I felt relief waking up, hearing that the procedure went well, and that the physical part of the healing can truly begin so I can work on the rest of me. I still feel a little shell shocked. I felt for a while that something wasn't going right with the pregnancy, and that it just wasn't going to work out in our favour. I'm just ready to move on.

I'm sure that once we're given the go ahead to TTC again, it'll stir up some of the emotions I've been going through this week. I have a new appreciation, and a different type of sympathy for other women who have experienced losses. I've always considered myself to be a very logical person, like there's a reason for everything and you just take it as it comes. I've also never been one to outwardly express my sadness. When I cry, it's usually in sympathy for somebody else. I surprised myself by throwing a bit of a pity party on Tuesday when I got the news about the D&C. I waited until I got home and cried my face off for half an hour.

Although it's still fresh, I already feel better that the healing process can begin. DH and I can start looking forward to brighter things, and hope that we get a healthy pregnancy soon.

I'm looking forward to hanging around the TTCAL board for a while and getting to know the rest of you ladies. I hope that your stays here are short and sweet.

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Hey Jess just wanted to tell you again how sorry I am that you are here but I am glad you came here for support vs giving up on preg.org. there are a couple of us from the April board that are hanging out here for now. Everybody seems really nice on this board so I think we've all came to a good place

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Hi Jess,

I'm glad you are feeling some relief getting past the d&c. Pregnancy loss is a tough thing and is compounded by having to deal with both the pysical and emotional aspects of the loss. With my first loss especially, which also ended with me needing a d&c as my body wasn't doing anything to clear itself, I found I didn't really process the emotional part until after I got the physical taken care of. How scary about the possibility of a molar pregnancy...do you know when they will be able to give you more information? I'll be hoping for the best result for you so you and DH can TTC again quickly. Please KUP

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Just wanted to let you know my experience. They suspected my 2nd loss was a molar preg but things ended up coming back just fine. Just don't want you to worry too much.

pico83 (not verified)

:bighug:
As you might know, I went through something very similar almost a month ago. At 9 weeks I had an u/s with an empty sac measuring 7 weeks and my HCG was over 100,000 (it was 71,000 at 7 weeks). I'm sure they are doing pathology on the tissue and will be able to tell you soon whether it was partial molar or not. But, with a blighted ovum (especially two) the HCG can be high because the body doesn't know anything is wrong with the pregnancy. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, especially with all the worry. I hope everything comes back normal and you can TTC soon.

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Jess, I'm really glad you landed here on this board. It's helped me through my losses, everyone here is very supportive. I hope what you had wasn't a molar pregnancy.. I hope you can heal and get back to TTC when you're ready and when your body is ready. Wishing you luck!

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So sorry for your loss! :bighug:

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So, last night, I was in emerg for 6 hours. I had fever, chills, uncontrollable shaking, nausea, dizziness, and told DH I needed to go to the hospital around 11PM. The doctor did an internal exam, said she could see a little blood as well as pus (TMI, sorry). That, combined with all of my other symptoms spelled infection. I spent a couple of hours hooked up to IV antibiotics and so they could get some fluids into me. What a night.

You should SEE my arms and hands! From their attempts to hook up the IV for the D&C, and the multiple attempts last night, I look like a pin cushion. I am so bruised. I'm going to try to go back to work tomorrow, so I had to go out and buy some long sleeved shirts today. I can't go to work looking like I do right now, I work at an addiction treatment center. Everyone is good humoured there, but I would expect a few wise cracks if they saw my poor arms right now.

I feel a lot better today, I have to start taking some oral antibiotics as well.. I hope this whole mess is over soon. Thanks for all of the support ladies.

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Oh that totally sucks! I'm sorry you are going through all of this. ((hugs))

How awful about your bruising too. That is not a good place to have to go to work with that, for sure! :eek:

~Lynn

pico83 (not verified)

:bighug: what an ordeal! I hope your bruises heal quickly, and that everything else does, too.
By the way, any idea why you have to wait 4-6 weeks for the pathology report? That seems like a really long time. It can't actually take that long to do, because I had mine within a week (we had a little partial molar concern, too, because of the high HCG). I really hope everything comes together for you soon so you can put all of this behind you.

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I think they say 4-6 weeks for two reasons. One, to cover their butts if it doesn't come in as soon as they say it will, and two, because they told me to schedule two follow ups, one 2 weeks from the D&C, and another 4 weeks after that. I'm going in for a check up this week though, because of the complications. I'd expect that I'll hear the results either this Wednesday, or the next appt I have scheduled on Oct 4th.

I'm trying to be optimistic, but if the results come back saying that it was molar, it'd ruin my world right now.

pico83 (not verified)

Do you know if they saw anything unusual on the u/s, other than that the sacs were empty? If they're just saying possible molar from the high numbers I wouldn't worry too much. I'm really, really hoping everything comes back normal for you. :bighug:

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I think they mentioned something resembling a cluster of cells.. I could be wrong. I'm in the office now waiting to see the OBGYN for the first follow up following the infection, I'll let you know if I find anything out. I don't expect that they'll tell me anything until my next appt on the 4th though.

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Hi Jess,

I just saw this post and it saddens me so. I was so happy for you when you got your BFP. I'm glad to hear the surgery went well though. I hope you can get back in the saddle again really soon. *hugs*

Heather

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Okay, so the appointment went well! He said that my beta results from the blood drawn immediately before the D&C came back around 66,000 (down from 82,000) so it was already dropping on its own. He's sending me for another next week, and I'll see him again the following week.

He also told me that he has no idea why anyone would have even suggested that it was a molar pregnancy. He said that the amount of tissue he removed was so little that it would be very surprising if the pathology results come back saying that it was molar. This was a relief. According to him, as soon as I get AF, we're good to go again. Yahoo

pico83 (not verified)

Yahoo
That's awesome news! And how wonderful that the HCG was already dropping. I really hope the pathology comes back normal.

That's so different from my doctor. He kept saying "There was a lot of tissue." But, I'd never had any spotting and my HCG was still climbing. That said, here I am a month out with AF and HCG down to 18 and on to TTC... and in a month that will be you! Yahoo

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Yay! So glad to hear it was good news. That's great your doctor doesn't feel there is any reason to suspect molar and double yipee for TTC again so soon. Biggrin

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Woo hooo!!! So happy for you!

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Thanks everyone Smile

Within the hour of seeing the obgyn for my follow up, I started getting the most intense AF-like cramps, and then started bleeding. It's not a huge amount, but seems to be picking up, and really resembles AF so far. To those who had a d&c as well.. did it take that long for the bleeding to start? I expected it to happen immediately and then kind of dwindle off, but today is exactly a week, and I didn't have anything other than brownish spotting up until yesterday afternoon. I hope it doesn't get any heavier, I was really hoping to head to the family cottage with my sister tomorrow night for some nice, quiet R&R. I don't want to spend my time there worrying about how soon I could get home if the bleeding increases.

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Jessica - I didn't have a D & C but I have had a miscarriage and I bled for 3 weeks straight, sometimes heavy sometimes not, but it was *never* enough to freak me out. It did get really heavy, but if I just took it easy it would slow back down.

I'm so glad you got good news. Hopefully your HCG will fall super quick!

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I bled / spotted on and off the whole cycle following my D&C (about 8 weeks). It was usually pretty light though.

pico83 (not verified)

Here's how my bleeding went:
day of D&C: spotting
next 2 days, light bleeding
day #4: super heavy with tons of clots and labor-like cramps, lightening throughout the day (had been warned to expect it)
day 5: moderate bleeding
Then I had light red bleeding for 2 days, light brown bleeding or spotting until approx. 4 weeks out, had 2 days with nothing, then started spotting pink and AF showed a couple days later.

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Okay, so I really can't seem to catch a break...

Since those AF-like cramps started, I kept getting them every night around the same time, starting somewhere between 6-7. Last night, the cramps became unbearable, I got all clammy, sweaty, light headed. The only relief I felt was when I kind of pushed down. TMI warning: I ended up giving one really good push, and passed a clot about the size of my palm. Within 15 minutes of passing that clot, the pain went away, and I was finally able to sleep.

They must've missed some tissue during the d&c. Since that big clot, I've only had light bleeding, and very little cramping. My GP was off today, and my OBGYN is out of town until next Wednesday, I see him for a u/s and followup on the Thursday. All I know is that I've been told to go to the ER if it happens again. What do you think the chances are that it will? I'm really hoping that last night was the last of it.

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Awww hun, I'm sooo sorry this is dragging on for you. (((bighugs)))

Surely since you felt some relief after passing the clot that will be the last of it. I would just watch for possible signs of infection to be sure, tenderness in the uterine/abdomen area, fever, but I think otherwise I would expect that to be the last of it, if it were me.

I took a glance at your chart...I see you stopped temping until this morning. I know I charted after my d&c and it really helped me to feel like I was at least doing something that gave me some information about what was going on. I even confirmed I O'd and had my usual LP before my period returned. Anyway, it might help to temp for a while so you can watch your temp go down as your HCG falls. It's just a thought though, definitely don't do it if you need to just take your mind off all of it. It all depends on your personality as to what will help you feel better. I like to try to maintain control (control freak perhaps ;)) so it helped me to be doing something.

Please KUP on how you are doing.

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Thanks Lynn, I will keep charting because the bleeding is confusing me. I hope that if it's not too late to catch my O date with temping, I'll be able to know when I'm actually getting AF instead of just post-D&C bleeding. I like knowing what's going on with my body too, and with everything I've been going through for this past couple of weeks, I've felt pretty helpless. I went for another hcg test on Wednesday, but since the requisition was from the OBGYN and not my GP, I likely won't hear the results until my appointment next Thursday. I don't know the policies from the OBGYN office, but my GP usually calls me with results the following day. I might even call and ask today, because I'm really curious. (Just called, down to 11,978 from 66,000+ two weeks ago.. that's good, right?)

I spoke to my GP yesterday, and he was pretty honest with me, which is what I love about him. He basically said that what I've experienced is not uncommon, and if I can put that large clot out of my mind, I should. He said he knows that forgetting about it isn't easy, but I should try to get past it. He also said the same as you, the fever being most concerning.

I'm happy to be temping again though, I find it really helps me make sense of everything, and I'm also looking forward to getting right back to TTC again.

I've been having a really hard time at work this past couple of weeks, so I spoke to my boss yesterday and asked to take some unpaid leave. He was pretty understanding and agreed to pay my only for the hours I work instead of my usual salary so I can come and go as I please without worrying about draining my sick leave pay. I feel better in the mornings than the afternoon/evening, so I might just try to work half days next week.

pico83 (not verified)

Jessica - I had a similar thing. way TMI4 days after my D&C, at 2am, I got up to pee and felt something huge. I got to the bathroom and had a bunch of clots. So many they covered my pad, were on my pajamas, the floor, etc. I had been warned by my doc that some women lose a bunch of clots, but I had no idea it would be so bad. I had contractions for a few hours after the clots as my body tried to get rid of the last few things. I had a few more smaller clots over the next few days then the bleeding basically stopped. It was a pretty horrible experience. I'm so sorry you had to deal with it, too. It was just the one time for me, but I had vivid nightmares about m/c for a few nights after.

I think charting helps. I charted after the D&C and didn't O, but my temp dropped slowly from my pregnant level. When it hit a normal pre-O level I spotted a few days then AF started.

Good luck. I hope you feel better soon.

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I'm glad you were able to talk to your doc. yesterday...I hope he helped put your mind at ease. I don't know about the HCG aside of it should be falling. Will you have more blood tests to watch it back to 0 or below 5 was what my doc said he wanted to see? My last result at 6 weeks post D&C was 4.4. I would say you haven't missed O though since your HCG is still high...it pretty much has to be zero or very close before O can happen, from what I understand.

I'm glad your boss was so understanding. That's great to be able to work and get paid only when you can and not have to feel obligated to be there to earn your salary. After DS2 was born I went from salary to an hourly rate so I don't have to be here 40+ hours per week, every week. The flexibility is really nice...I understand how you need that right now. ((hugs))

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:lurk:

Hi deary, I've been following whats been going on with you. You should be able to get results from the lab 24 hours after they have been faxed to the doctor. In theory, I don't know if labs in Canada work differently than labs in the US, but you can call the lab to ask what the policy is. (I've been drawing blood for about four years and all of the labs that I have worked at here in the states are that way.)

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Pico83 - Yeesh. That's nuts. I'm thankful that I haven't had a lot of clots, but the ones I have had have been large enough to be extremely painful leading up to passing them. That's the other thing that's driving me nuts, having to wear pads. I'm a DivaCup user, and one OB said it'd be fine to use that, but the other said absolutely not.

Clarkton - Looks like I won't O for a while then! Neither of my doctors have set me up with routine blood work yet, it seems as though they wait to see me in person to give me a single requisition. Next time I see either of them, I'm going to ask for a couple so I can go once or twice a week for the next month. I'm grateful that my work has been so flexible. I can't really just take time off, I'm the only person who does what I do there, and part of my job is finance related. Someone has to go in and pay the bills! I feel bad though, because my sister and I work together, and she's going to have to take on some extra work to cover me.

MJDttc - You're right! My GP usually calls me to tell me, but when I called this new office, she happily gave me the information over the phone, but I don't think she would have called me to tell me. It has dropped a good amount, but not as much as I thought it would have. I've heard of other people dropping down to the hundreds, or at least low thousands within the first two weeks post d&c, so hearing that it's over 11,000 surprised me. Looking forward to a veeerry low number next time.

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I agree that high of a number surprised me too but I don't know that there's anything wrong with it. Could easily be just normal variation...I would expect it to fall quickly though. Also, was going to say my ob/gyn had me come every 2 weeks for bloodwok until it was below 5. I think that was a pretty good timeframe...I think a couple of times a week would probably be too often. You might not see significant change between levels that often.

~Lynn

pico83 (not verified)

My office had me go weekly. I have to admit, I was a little surprised that your number was still so high. But maybe you were right and your clot/bleeding was something they missed. And maybe it'll drop faster now.

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So, since this thread is getting a little long, I'll post future updates in the general chat thread Smile Besides, I think I got enough good news today that things might sound "boring" from this point forward.

I went for an ultrasound and then right to the OBGYN today, and everything looked good. No retained products, I saw that they measured the endometrium at 0.5 cm, and measured ovaries and everything else too. The tech asked me if I had any surgeries recently, and I said that I had the D&C, but that was it. I thought it was a weird question to ask, but everything came back as 'normal' on the preliminary report. I also got back the pathology results, and it's officially NOT a molar pregnancy. Yahoo

When I was telling the Dr about the clots and stuff, he kind of laughed and said "You don't get off easy on anything, do you?". I had so many of the "unlikely" complications for a procedure that they consider so routine and simple. He also told me 'not to rush' in regards to TTC again. He didn't give me a time frame, but told me to keep charting if that's what I want to do, and when things seem normal again, it'd be safe to try.

Every Dr I've mentioned charting to just kind of shrugs it off.. is that weird? I thought that at least some of them would have something good to say about it. Anyways, he said to keep charting this cycle if I want to, but it probably won't make any sense. That's ok, it already looks like it makes sense to me, and it's keeping me sane. The bleeding has pretty much stopped too, which is A-OK in my books.

Lastly, I asked for a standing order for bloodwork weekly, the OB agreed because he wants to follow me down to zero. He said it should be zero by the end of the month, so I'm going to go see him on the 31st. I hope that he's right! I'm going to go tomorrow to have some drawn, and then probably every Friday, and one last time on the 30th so he'll have the results when I see him the next day!

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Jessica, I got the same type of response to charting from my doc. I think most of them don't know much about it...I doubt they have any training or experience with it and they just don't put much stock in it. That is my take on it anyway. I thought it helped me tremendously to chart through my D&C cycle and I've referenced info from that chart many times since. I'm glad you feel like it is helping you too.

Great news on your test results! I'm so glad you got a good report and no molar! :woohoo:

I also wanted to tell you I love your new avatar pic...is that one of your wedding pics? You're a pretty lady. Smile

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Jess, I had a similar roller coaster this time around. Lots of to and fro before they decided not viable and I had a d&c. Then re-admitted once for retained products 5 days after d&c, passed more clots a week after that, persistent bleeding leading to low iron, etc.

pico83 (not verified)

Fantastic news on the pathology and the u/s! I hope your next beta is a lot lower. Smile
Weird that they just disregard the charting. I guess I've usually seen MWs and they seem a little surprised, but happy that I chart.

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*lurker, children mentioned*

Jessica, I am so sorry you are going thru all of this Sad I too had a partial molar pregnany in June of 2008, I was 11wks along when I had to have a D&C. It took me by complete shock because I had never heard of this type of M/C (I had 2 kids at the time and had done alot of reading about pregnancy/birth and complications and such) before and when we had went in for my first appt we saw a strong hb and all. I can completely relate to how you are feeling, please PM me and let me know if you need to talk. (((HUGS)))

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oops, I'm sorry I should have read thru more of the thread before posting Sad

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No worries! I'm in a pretty good place now knowing that it wasn't molar, makes everything else surrounding the m/c far less terrible, too. Sorry to hear that you had to go through that though!

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