Not sure if I introduced myself yet... (CHILD Ment)

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Farmer21's picture
Joined: 05/19/11
Posts: 99
Not sure if I introduced myself yet... (CHILD Ment)

My name is Harmony. My DH and I have been TTC since 2004. We had a missed m/c in 2006 and thanks to Clomid and a 2nd IUI, we conceived my DS (who will be 2 next week). We started fertility treatments this spring again and conceived on our first IUI... unfortunately my HCG levels were low and not doubling and I ended up m/cing it. As soon as we were able to try again, we did.... 2 cycles have gone by and nothing. I have one more cycle with the IUI/Clomid mix and then we have to make some big decisions. I am turning 32 next year but my eggs/ovaries are about 8 years older according to my fertility Dr. He is highly recommending IVF, but I'm terrified of the procedure, the outcome and the debt that comes with it. Adoption is an option, but part of me just wants to be done with it all for a bit - take the winter off to regroup. KWIM?

I have been having a horrible week (AF started Tuesday). Doesn't help when all of a sudden that my DS is turning 2 and people think it's the magic age to start pestering me about him having a play mate. It takes all I can not to break down into tears. My brother and his wife just had their 3rd baby yesterday too - so I'm a mixed bag of joy, fear and sadness that he will have what I probably never will.

Sorry, I don't mean to ramble on, but I know is a pretty safe haven for this kind of stuff as I've BTDT.

Best wishes to everyone and thanks for reading and listening Smile

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

First of all, I am so sorry for your losses. Big hugs on people bothering you about when you are going to have another baby. My DS is 3, and I get that all of the time too. I don't know why people think that our family planning is any of their business anyway. Just once, I would love to work up the guts to look one of them in the eye and say "I have had 2 losses in the past year. Please stop asking me when I'm going to have another baby, as it is salt in the wound."

Second of all, I think that if you need to take a break from all of this to just heal and regroup before you make any decisions, that is exactly what you should do. Your health (emotional and physical) has to come first both for the wonderful family that you already have, and so that if you do decide to continue TTC, you have the best chances.

Many many hugs to you, and welcome to TTCAL.

yellow.rose.of.canada's picture
Joined: 01/13/10
Posts: 1174

Hi Harmony! Good to see you again. :bighug: I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Some people are pretty insensitive. I've noticed when you already have a child everyone assumes you can have another one whenever you'd like. They don't realize just because you managed to have one child that it can be difficult or impossible to have another. You can come vent here. We're here for you.

Farmer21's picture
Joined: 05/19/11
Posts: 99

Thanks ladies. Alissa, I totally know what you mean about just wanting to blurt things out.... I have ALMOST done that a few times.... but DH would kill me LOL. It's nice to see you again Elizabeth. I hope all the best for you ladies!

Joined: 12/07/10
Posts: 2421

Hello there. I am so sorry for your losses. I’m also sorry people think it’s okay to ask about your personal business. I don’t really have any advice since I don’t currently have anyone asking those questions. Actually, people think my hubby and I don’t want kids! lol…..people and their assumptions! I know it’s almost impossible but please try not to let them get to you.

I completely agree with what Alissa said about taking a break if you need to. I think it’s a wonderful idea to take a break and just focus on other things for a bit and take the time to heal.

I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide. :bigarmhug::bigarmhug:

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

Sorry for the reason you have to be here, but welcome Smile

I can relate, my DD is 4.5 and it's hard to see others having their 2nd, 3rd, 4th child, etc. *Hugs*

Farmer21's picture
Joined: 05/19/11
Posts: 99

:bigarmhug: to you all too