Please advise

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Last seen: 5 years 1 month ago
Joined: 06/30/11
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Please advise

Dear all, Just around 4 weeks back I delivered my baby boy. It was my first pregnancy. But it was stillborn. This is the biggest ever loss to me. M really trying to go back to normal life, but whenever I try to do that, his memories fill up my mind. I keep remembering his face, and I miss him badly. I still do not understand the reason for the loss, and not in the mental state to probe my gynaec about it. My baby gave up at 36 weeks. I chose natural birth, because I felt I would be doing something for him. The labour was intense, and then I saw his angel face. I wantd him to breathe, but he did not. I feel miserable. Will I be able to have a normal pregnancy in future? I feel so empty. My doc has advised me to wait for 6 months, but I am not sure of being able to wait for so long. What should i do?

AlyssaEimers's picture
Last seen: 1 week 18 hours ago
Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 6803

I am so very sorry for your loss. :bigarmhug::bigarmhug:

Last seen: 1 year 2 months ago
Joined: 12/07/10
Posts: 2421

Hi there, I am so sorry for your loss.

I know you are hurting very much right now and you have every right to be. You probably will hurt, be angry and depressed for a while but it will pass. Have you tried talking to a counselor? It might help to talk to someone.

As for waiting, I would listen to your doctor. Your body probably needs ample time to recover from giving birth.

I know lots of women who have had still born children to go on and have perfectly healthy babies. It will happen for you.

Huge Hugs and please know that we are here for you.

GinnyP7's picture
Last seen: 4 years 10 months ago
Joined: 01/08/08
Posts: 39

I am very sorry for your loss. :bigarmhug:

I suggest finding a support group of women in real life who have been through child/pregnancy loss. I've attended a small group with about 6 women all who had lost pregnancies or infants at different stages/ages. Check out this website, they may have a local chapter near you. These women will understand better than anyone what you're going through and be in all the different stages of the healing process.

Also the hospital may be able to refer you to conseling or a support group for couples with other couples who lost a baby around the same time as you.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Last seen: 2 years 6 months ago
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

So very sorry to hear of your loss :bighug:

I encourage you to also check out our Pregnancy and Infant Loss board.

Wishing you all the best,

Danifo's picture
Last seen: 2 years 5 months ago
Joined: 09/07/10
Posts: 1377

I think because you had a full term pregnancy, you should wait because they normally advise that you wait a few months to let your body physically recover before becoming pregnant again. For an early m/c, they reccomend waiting to let you mentally come to terms with it so obviously they think you should come to terms with it before trying again.

I understand the desire to try right away to reassure yourself that you can get pregnant again and carry a healthy baby to term.

I would think that you at least need to talk with your OB/GYN about the reasons before you get pregnant again. You want to make sure that if there is anything they can do to prevent this again that they take those steps. I think everyone here also became more paranoid about the success of their pregnacy after their loss. I think you need to know what kind of monitoring they will provide. Most of us relax after we pass the point of our m/c but I can only imagine that you will be worried for the whole pregancy because of your loss.

I am sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to have a healthy pregnancy in the future.

lcmancini's picture
Last seen: 4 years 6 months ago
Joined: 11/07/06
Posts: 197

Oh hun!!! Huge Hugs!!

I wish there were other words, but I'm so sorry for your loss! You got some great advise, and there isn't much I can add.

Just know that we are here for you if you wanna talk. Much Love to you!!