I thought I would pop in here to say hello. For those who don't know me, I am currently waiting to M/c a pg that didn't develop a fetal pole or hb.
I have a question, especially for those women who have worked with an RE. My original desire was to M/c naturally. While that would still be my preference, the pg symptoms combined with the stress of concert season, the stress of just waiting it out, and the fact that the Gest sac keeps growing and the hcg is still going up, although slowly...they have all combined to convince me to at least schedule the d&c and be done with it.
But...one of my many issues with my clinic all along is the fact that they are huge and seem to work on a factory mentality. After I left a message today saying I wanted to schedule it, my nurse left me a message saying that they don't have any time in the surgical schedule for me...maybe for 2 WEEKS! This seems crazy to me, and i'm wondering whether it is really as bad as I think or if it is typical? She did say they were going to try to "make time" for me, but i'm feeling like this should be the last straw for me.
I've mostly been avoiding the boards for the time being, but I'll pop in now and then here. Thanks for your thoughts!
Last edited by celticbandgeek; 11-29-2011 at 08:47 PM.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I have never been to a RE so I have no advice there. I have been in a situation where the pg had ended but I was still pg and I know it is devastating.
I wasn't at a RE but it was over a week to get a D&C scheduled for me. Although I did have the m/c in that time, I had complications that resulted in me going to the ER later that week and get a D&C anyways.
I was very jealous of the people who could get the D&C within a day or two of seeing the U/S. I had severe morning sickness that I was taking medication for and it drove me nuts because what's the point of morning sickness if you aren't really pregnant. For me, I felt that I wanted it over so I could move on. After the m/c, although I was still devestated, I was able to function in daily life. I don't know if that makes sense.
I was offered a medication to encourage a m/c and that could have been done earlier. Is that an option?
My doctor initially offered me medication (cytotec) to encourage me to miscarry naturally - since I was bleeding, but not passing anything. It didn't work, so I wound up with a d&c about two days later (because I was cramping a lot and losing a lot of blood). The next time I miscarried I insisted on getting the d&c while we were still in the ER (I was bleeding a lot too and 5 hours away from home - the ER doctor wanted me to drive back home and see my doctor! Unbelievable. But that's neither here nor there, really - it's just why I had the d&c the same day).
All this to say: I would see if your doctor can give you anything to encourage a natural miscarriage, and if that doesn't do anything, insist on the d&c ASAP. It is incredibly damaging and traumatic to have to endure pregnancy symptoms when you know there is no pregnancy. Don't put yourself through that.
I am so sorry you have to go through this.
I'm currently seeing a RE but all of my miscarriages were with an OB so my situation was a little different.
I had a D&C back in August and waited a week after finding out that I've miscarried. Though, it was my choice to wait a week....the OB wanted to schedule it for the next day and I just wasn't ready.
If you really want to do it naturally, you can ask for Cytotec to help start the process sooner. My first m/c was completely natural and it was the easiest on my body and I bounced back pretty quickly. My second was with Cytotec and it was the hardest on my body physically. I bled and spotted for 2 months and it took the longest for my body to get back to "normal". My third m/c was a D&C and even though miscarrying naturally was the easiest on my body, the D&C was the easiest for me mentally and emotionally. Everyone's experiences are different so you have to do what you think is best for you.
Huge hugs and I'm really sorry you are having to go through this. Please know that we are all here for you and understand what you are going through.
Also, if you are unhappy with your RE, you should definitely seek a new one. There is no point in working with a doctor you are unhappy with because I feel that having a RE that you trust and are happy with makes all the difference.
DS - 1/31/13 - My IVF Miracle and the love of my life!!
MC 8/24/10 @ 12w
MC 1/31/11 @ 11w6d
MC 8/18/11 @ 8w1d - ID Twins!
Jean so sorry you are going thorough this. I can't speak to 'normal' but we confirmed my loss around 4pm and I was scheduled the next morning for D&C and went in around 9am. I think it is dependent on the practice. Sometimes when I go in for appts I have longer waits because he does things like work me in when I was not in the schedule but understanding why now I appreciate his concern for his patients. I hope you are able to get a better response from them.
Last edited by DannyT; 11-30-2011 at 08:37 PM.
My Obgyn scheduled mine fairly quickly, I think it was 2 days after my ultrasound. I'm so sorry they don't have anything sooner, what a mess. Like I said in my other post, I left my last clinic because of how they treated me (like just a number).
If decided to go for the D&C because it was much easier when I miscarried naturally (which was so painful and dragged out).
Thanks for the feedback ladies. The scheduler called yesterday, and the soonest they can get me in is the week of the 12th. The biggest "practical" reason for deciding to do the D&C was to make sure this was done before my school concert craziness, but that is the week of the concerts. So, I've decided to go back to waiting it out. And to be honest, I feel much more relaxed with making that a definite decision....I think going back and forth on it was causing me more stress than anything else. If I get past that week and still haven't m/c, I will reconsider. But, the way I feel tonight I think it is going to happen on its own sooner rather than later anyway.
Jen - I'm going to PM you a few questions about your practice, because I really like what I've read, but I'm not sure I can make it work schedule-wise. I've been looking into a LOT of practices, and I'm really stuck because of the monitoring hours. I have to be AT school by 7:45ish, which cancels out a lot of places because of when monitoring hours start.
Thanks again to all of you. You ladies are the best, and I'll be around some more soon.