Hello everyone. I haven't been here in about a year I guess, but DH and I may be entering back into the scary world of TTC after a m/c and I thought I'd come here and post.
After suffering a loss last year (missed m/c at 9-10 weeks) we tried 3 more fertility cycles and I quit responding to meds. Our last cycle, when I went in for an u/s, the doc found calcifications and enlarged ovaries. At that point, he said he was even more sure that I have Endometriosis (he'd suspected it before but I had no symptoms). We decided to quit TTC for a while. I just couldn't do it another day. It had been 16 months of fertility drugs and miscarriage and complications from miscarriage and I know a lot of women can handle it for much longer but they must be superwomen because I had just cracked at that point.
We took a break and decided to pursue adoption. We'd always wanted to adopt so we thought we'd concentrate on that first and then get back to TTC at a later time, so we became foster parents. Less than two weeks after being licensed we got a 2 day old baby girl. We were told it would never happen that fast and we'd be lucky lucky lucky to get a newborn...we got her and she's still here 5 months later. She's supposed to be here until July at least and the longer she's here the more likely it is that we'll be able to adopt her which is, of course, what we want more than anything. She's perfect and beautiful and has done so much for us to heal our hearts after what we went through with infertility and miscarriage.
While all of this has been going on with our sweet baby girl though, I started having a lot of pain. I couldn't take the pill anymore. Was on it when she first got here, but it made me feel like post pardum or something. Hormones combined with sleep deprivation was not a good combo for me so I quit taking it, and was fine about a week later...stupid BCP. Anyway, I went back to the doc to discuss the pain and all the time I was spending with a heating pad and he said he thought it was time for surgery.
So...that leads us to right now. I'll be having surgery for Endometriosis May 23rd. I'm having a hysteroscopy too I think and, if the insurance will pay for it, I'll be having a HSG at the same time. Joy! At least I'll be asleep for all of it. The doc thinks that Endo is probably why I miscarried and he thinks this will help everything.
He wants us to be trying again two weeks after surgery. I mean that scares the crap out of us in some ways, but we just bought a new house (bigger) and the baby will be 6 months old by then so if I did get pregnant right away (yeah right) and we adopted her she'd be like 16 months when I had the baby so I think that's a good age. Thankfully, she's the easiest baby in the world and has been sleeping through the night since about 4 weeks old. Now she sleeps 12-13 hours a night. It's insane. Lol.
So here we are. Sometimes I look at posts and updates and especially DYSAL and I get excited again...and then I read about friends of mine who have had losses and it all comes rushing back and I'm not sure I can go through that again. It's been over a year now but it still hurts so much to remember how hard it was. So part of me is terrified to consider TTC again at all but I'd rather just jump in and go for it while we know things are healthy.
So there's my update! Oh and I forgot to mention that our little foster daughter was born just a few days after my due date. So we ended up having a baby when we were supposed to after all. Of course that makes it feel like it's meant to be but we'll just have to see!