Update-haven't been here in a long while (Child Ment)

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Leah261's picture
Joined: 09/14/11
Posts: 1244
Update-haven't been here in a long while (Child Ment)

Hello everyone. I haven't been here in about a year I guess, but DH and I may be entering back into the scary world of TTC after a m/c and I thought I'd come here and post.

After suffering a loss last year (missed m/c at 9-10 weeks) we tried 3 more fertility cycles and I quit responding to meds. Our last cycle, when I went in for an u/s, the doc found calcifications and enlarged ovaries. At that point, he said he was even more sure that I have Endometriosis (he'd suspected it before but I had no symptoms). We decided to quit TTC for a while. I just couldn't do it another day. It had been 16 months of fertility drugs and miscarriage and complications from miscarriage and I know a lot of women can handle it for much longer but they must be superwomen because I had just cracked at that point.

We took a break and decided to pursue adoption. We'd always wanted to adopt so we thought we'd concentrate on that first and then get back to TTC at a later time, so we became foster parents. Less than two weeks after being licensed we got a 2 day old baby girl. We were told it would never happen that fast and we'd be lucky lucky lucky to get a newborn...we got her and she's still here 5 months later. She's supposed to be here until July at least and the longer she's here the more likely it is that we'll be able to adopt her which is, of course, what we want more than anything. She's perfect and beautiful and has done so much for us to heal our hearts after what we went through with infertility and miscarriage.

While all of this has been going on with our sweet baby girl though, I started having a lot of pain. I couldn't take the pill anymore. Was on it when she first got here, but it made me feel like post pardum or something. Hormones combined with sleep deprivation was not a good combo for me so I quit taking it, and was fine about a week later...stupid BCP. Anyway, I went back to the doc to discuss the pain and all the time I was spending with a heating pad and he said he thought it was time for surgery.

So...that leads us to right now. I'll be having surgery for Endometriosis May 23rd. I'm having a hysteroscopy too I think and, if the insurance will pay for it, I'll be having a HSG at the same time. Joy! At least I'll be asleep for all of it. The doc thinks that Endo is probably why I miscarried and he thinks this will help everything.

He wants us to be trying again two weeks after surgery. I mean that scares the crap out of us in some ways, but we just bought a new house (bigger) and the baby will be 6 months old by then so if I did get pregnant right away (yeah right) and we adopted her she'd be like 16 months when I had the baby so I think that's a good age. Thankfully, she's the easiest baby in the world and has been sleeping through the night since about 4 weeks old. Now she sleeps 12-13 hours a night. It's insane. Lol.

So here we are. Sometimes I look at posts and updates and especially DYSAL and I get excited again...and then I read about friends of mine who have had losses and it all comes rushing back and I'm not sure I can go through that again. It's been over a year now but it still hurts so much to remember how hard it was. So part of me is terrified to consider TTC again at all but I'd rather just jump in and go for it while we know things are healthy.

So there's my update! Oh and I forgot to mention that our little foster daughter was born just a few days after my due date. So we ended up having a baby when we were supposed to after all. Of course that makes it feel like it's meant to be but we'll just have to see!

shadow_grey's picture
Joined: 05/03/12
Posts: 581

Oh Leah. I am so excited and happy for you that you have been fostering that sweet, baby girl. I hope, hope, hope that you get to adopt her. We'll be having the same surgery within a few days of each other. Maybe it will mean good things for both if us.

browntown's picture
Joined: 04/30/11
Posts: 515

You've had a busy year! I hope hat your surgery goes well and that they solve all of the problems that you may have been having related to TTC. I also hope that everything works out for the best with your little girl and that she gets to stay with you forever!

Joined: 10/06/09
Posts: 183

Leah, I have followed your notes in the foster/adopt board when you've written and I'm so happy for you. Now, this on top of it - wow! I hope the surgeries go well, and you know if your TTC efforts work, there's a lot of us who have been pg after a loss; you won't be alone.

Clarkton's picture
Joined: 01/07/08
Posts: 1972

So nice to hear how things have been goin with you Leah Smile Youve been on quite a ride and it's not over...best wishes for everything to go smoothly with wonderful outcomes for you, DH and the lovely baby girl you are fostering. I think your decision to just go with TTC while things seem the healthiest is a good one. I'm sure it's not easy to have two so little at the same time but I think it's great for siblings to be so close and grow up together. Once they are a little older I bet you'll love the spacing. Smile

Please KUP on how everything goes for you.

~Lynn

Joined: 07/26/04
Posts: 1595

Wow what a year you have had. How awesome and I hope and pray you get to stay with your precious little girl!! I would be terrified to TTC to as I know I am. It stinks because it is so hard to get excited when all you'v had are negative experiences. I hope the surgery is a success and you get pregnant right away!! Smile

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