my first since giving birth to Noah on 4-19. She is being quite biatchy too cramping and a very heavy flow w/ small clots. Uck. I was looking forward to her arrival but I find myslef feeling sad too bc I shouldnt be having my period I should be 20 some weeks pg. I am looking forward to ttc also but at the same time scared crapless to have to go through all the worrying and possibility of a loss again. At least my MW gave me the go ahead to start ttc after AF came. Originally she said wait two periods but after my PP visit (made me sad they called it that I should have a baby at a PP visit, you know?) she said everything looked back to normal so I got the green light as long as I felt mentally okay to ttc. And I do I am so ready to move forward. I just wish I could skip the scary first 4 months. Hoping and praying that ttc doesnt take too long and trying not to stress over it too much, easier said than done though. I stress over everything anyway. I did get my OPKs in the mail the other day so I am ready to start peeing on things again. I got a tattoo to memorialize Noah on my wrist. I will have to take a pic of it. It is from a poem by EE Cumming called "I Carry Your Heart" its a love poem saying basically that they carry their loved ones heart in their own heart. I felt it fitting bc I carry Noah's heart within mine as well, he lives on there. The tattoo says: I carry your heart...Noah 4/19/12 and I love it. I felt this feeling of peace once it was finished like it was just meant to be there. It makes me happy every time I look at it, like it's this firm proof of Noah's existance in this world for however short that time was.