CD 14 - back to high fertility. We BD'd last night, although I felt like it all fell out before I could get my hips up. You know, the evening of CD 12 I had some weird feelings in my belly area. At first I just thought it was gas or something I ate. Later on I wondered if it could've been ovulation pains. I did get peak fertility the next day (13) on the FM. We BD'd on 11 and 13, so hopefully we covered our bases. Since tonight is Friday I may be able to catch DH and have a little fun again
CD 18 - maybe 4 dpo? Called mine and dh's insurance provider and found out our testing will be free or our copay. So, that's good news. I'm still nervous about what to do, or if we should do anything. I know it sounds inefficient to have my annual exam in April and not have results from DH's SA. So, logically, we need to do that at least before then. I just struggle with knowing if I'm pushing an issue that God's leading towards at this point in time. I have learned (it's been obvious by the last few sermons I've heard lately- all at different places) that I need to be more active in my bible reading and prayer time if I want to better understand God's will for me. That's what I'm going to do then.
CD 24 - in the 2ww, probably 10 to 12 DPO. DH had a lot of questions about my cycle yesterday. It was sweet, although I think he also wants to know when he could cancel the SA I scheduled for him He asked how long it would be until we knew... When I said another week, it seemed like such a long time! But, we'll wait. I could technically test earlier, but I won't. Too depressing.
CD 25 - had some lbcm yesterday and today. History says that means AF should come this Saturday. The way DH's test timing has fallen, I couldn't start any tests until after this next cycle, so late in February. I suppose that's fine. We've waited this long, what's another month?
CD 26. Talked on the phone w/ a friend who's been trying longer than I have (she had a m/c at the beginning of ttc). I was wanting to vent to someone who understood (like people here) and also bounce some ideas off her about testing and stuff. I think she thought I was calling for advice b/c she started telling me, "Well, the first test they'll want to do is this.... and then this...". I was thinking, you had to go to your doctor to learn that?? I knew all that stuff in 5 minutes after searching posts here. Lol, but I appreciated her kindness.
I had a dream last night that I took my temperature. The result came up one degree below what it should be to have the potential of being pregnant. The strange part is I don't temp, nor do I know what my temps should be if I did....
CD 28. AF is here, so I'll make tomorrow CD 1 since it's 11pm. I really don't have any words to say to express my feelings. Probably because I have a lack of feelings right now. I feel nothing...
A nurse in my doctor's office doesn't want to do any testing on me until we hear back from DH's test. I'm thinking of pushing harder b/c I don't want to put the testing off if we're going to do it. I'd rather get as much done this cycle as possible.
CD 6. Trying desperately to get b/w scheduled for a CD 21 progesterone test. Not sure why this is so difficult other than the person doing the scheduling is new.
I had a first today. My boss announced they were expecting this August. This is their 5th pregnancy (lost one to mc and the oldest is in the first grade). As soon as I heard the news I was happy on the outside, but felt like crying on the inside. 50% of my colleagues that *could* have a baby (married and not at or past menopause) have had one or made the announcement in the last year. I've never felt... jealous?... before, not to the point that I wanted to cry. I literally was crushed. I just don't get it. Why? What is it about DH and I? What plans does God have for us? I really need DH to give me a hug.
Count per mL: 10,000,000 per cc, 20,000,000 is better
Motility: Four grades, ABCD, 0% A, 8% B, 26% non-aggressive, 66% immotile
Morphology: 4%, like to see over 14%
Repeat in 3 month time frame
DH said basically everything is abnormal. I'm going to go home and hug on him. Oddly enough, this hasn't gotten me down. I don't know, but I'm sure there are lots of things he can do to improve some of this. And, maybe this will be good motivation to work on losing weight. From the articles I've been reading lately, it sounds like having an overweight or obese bmi can have an effect on the male's fertility.... Maybe God's just providing motivation.
CD 13. I think I'm going to cry. I got gobs of ewcm yesterday around noon and it's still here. I decided to wait to attack dh until tonight to give him 48+ hours to increase his sperm supply (after his test results, we may need to BD every 3 days instead of every other). The thought crossed my mind to tell him my plan, but I didn't b/c I didn't want him to feel like every single time was scheduled. Well, I just sent him a message about bding tonight i hopes of getting his mojo going when he responded with "I had a little work out this morning"... Now I feel like this cycle is wasted too (despite our odds). He didn't want to talk about his results the night he got them. He talked a little via email the next day. If only we could've talked! I thought he knew he wasn't supposed to take care of things during my fertile time. I thought he did know. The test just threw things off I guess. I know it's not his fault, he didn't know. Now I feel desperate. I didn't when the test results came in, but I do now that I feel like we're wasting chances. Screw romance tonight. DH and I are just going to have to sit down and talk. If we don't, he'll never been on the same page as me. If things are cleared up our chances of concieving are decreasing even more...