Thread: Am I really doing this??

CD 19. I'm gonna guess I ovulated CD15 or 16, not really certain though. We got a good bd in CD 15, so I'll hope for the best. At least we had a good time bding this month even if it doesn't happen. Funny how one less stressor can make things more fun in the bedroom!

My longest cycle was 32 days. I found out I am better emotionally if I don't poas, so I'll wait until CD 32 before considering it (I hope) if I have no signs of AF. Now I just need to pray that this works!

I had a crazy dream the other night. I had a baby, but it was early, even though it came out full term. Once I got home I thought, "I bet this baby needs a diaper change!" Then I freaked out b/c we didn't have any of the stuff we needed b/c the baby came early and we hadn't had any showers yet! The dream went on and on with more crazy things happening... Our minds sure can be creative!

CD20... I don't know what to write really, just felt like I needed to. I'm excited to have a long weekend. Hopefully it won't rain too much so DH and I can get lots of work done on our yard. The landscaping sure needs it! We bought a nice house last year, but it needed a lot of updating and cleaning. This summer we're tackling half of the landscaping. I guess next year we'll tackle the other half. Maybe we can find time to finish a few projects inside. It can be exhausting but it is fun, especially when I see the finished product!

I know my grandmother is gonna ask me if I have "anything I need to tell her" this weekend. I wish I did! Maybe I'll have some news in 12 more days though. If I am pregnant we'll wait at least till Father's Day to make an announcement to the family. Part of me would like to wait a little longer, but who am I kidding. That's not possible with the first baby- and it'll be the first grandbaby on my side!

CD 25. Nothing out of the ordinary. Slight bit of light brown discharge starting yesterday. Just like the last two cycles. The last two times AF has showed up during the night of CD 28. I'll soon see if that is the case this time!

Had a spectacular holiday weekend, but was pooped yesterday. Too much sun and not any sleep. I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping the last few nights. I'm not getting any rest. A Tylenol PM helped that though!

CD 26. Last night DH and I were talking. I always ask him to rub my belly to spend time with his 5 kids, lol! The number changes all the time, but it's always an unreasonable amount. I told him I was ready and wanted to have a little baby as cute as he was when he was little. He said, "I'm ready too, do we need to do it now?" It was really sweet of him. The funny part is he has no idea about my cycle. You'd think he would b/c there are obvious times of the month that we BD much more frequently than others! Hey, I appreciate his willingness. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. DH will be a great dad. He's already a wonderful husband! Our anniversary is on CD 33. I've never had a cycle last 33 days. It would be awesome to tell him then that we were pregnant!! I'll just keep praying about it in the meantime.

Noticed bright red spots (not much at all) on the TP... I think I need my horomones checked... I always hope it could be implantation bleeding, but the pattern isn't changing.

I wish I could talk to my mom about this more. She tries to listen, but always ends up with, "Well, you guys haven't been trying a year yet. It took me over a year with you. The doctors won't do anything until a year has past." Yes, the doctors will do stuff before a year. All I'd like them to do is test my horomone levels. And I do find some comfort in the fact that it took her over a year for me (as it did with my mother in law), but she was 21!! I'm 25. I know some of you are laughing at me right now, that's not old. But, I would like to have at least 3. I'm open to have 5 or 6! If we're not surprised by multiples, I could be having #5 at 40. I'd wanted to start in my 20s and be done by 32... maybe I wasn't planning very well. 25 was the earliest DH and I agreed to start based on finish school and having the best financial foundation. We're definitely there, at least better than most due to me being a tight wad.

The thing is, if I found out there was an imbalance, I'm not certain I'd want to start clomid for a little while. I think I just want a reason for not conceiving yet so I won't feel like we're doing something wrong We could keep trying until a certain date, then try clomid... I dunno. I'm just ocd and like to know what's going on!

CD 27... okay, this is the 2nd time this week I've had this dream! my mom brings this baby to me, sometimes it is mine in the dream, sometimes it's one i adopted. well, we all know i want to breastfeed, so my tells me to try as practice. at this point in the dream the baby isn't biologically mine, so i feel stupid because i know i'm not producing any milk! but, in both dreams the baby latches on perfectly despite how awkward it feels. granted, i have no children, so while i want to breastfeed, a person nursing on my boob will take a little bit of time to get used to! i must really have baby on the brain. i've been reading tons of posts, but none about breast feeding. the only post-birth posts i look at are the ones with pictures... who knows. i'd love for this to be a sign!!

CD 30 So I expected AF to arrive the night of CD 28, as she has the last two cycles... but no! And she didn't come last night! I want to be excited, but I'm trying to play it cool. I feel absolutely no different than any other cycles, so no reason to get my hopes up. My longest cycle has been 32 days, so I think I'll wait a little bit longer to test. Our anniversary is CD 33, so I've considered testing that morning if AF hasn't visited by then. I'm praying this could be our month!

Looks like AF is arriving....

She's here! Such an unwelcome visitor...

CD 3. I wish I could remember when I got off the pill... I bet I could find out if I called the pharmacy since I did not pick up any additional packs. I'm pretty sure I took my last pill the end of July, so August would've been a pill free month.

Our 4 year anniversary is tomorrow! We're going to the Melting Pot! I'm so excited Chris is such a wonderful husband. I don't know how any other man could love me the way he does. Believe it or not, I can be difficult to live with Chris knows me so well. He always makes me feel like I am the most important person in his world. I love him for that, and many, many other things. Thinking of how blessed I am to be married to him gives me butterflies.

This will be month 8 since we stopped preventing. Seems like 3 of those months we could not "try", so this will be our 5th month trying. We didn't try too much in the beginning. We have been more concious of trying the last 2 months though. I think we're entering the phase of trying more diligently.