amazing grace!!!! ttc#1( some may be offended) (religion )
Well here goes nothing , I have been thinking about doing this for a whle and well I guess the time is here!!!
My name is meredith and I am 22 and dh name is phil and he is alos 22 . We have been married for about 1 year and three months and have been on no birht control for about 1 year and no baby .
I titled my ttc journey amazing grace becasue I love the Lord and He has been so good to me . And I know His grace and mercies and miracles are the same today yeasterday and tommorow and I know that one day He will bless me with a child .
I come from a large family and we are very close my mother has 6 sisters and 1 brother and my dad has 2 sisters and 1 brother . I lost both of my grandmothers within 3 years of each other my grandfathers are still living . My husbands has a big family to he is number three out of 7 childern.
I guess I have always wated childern I have always worked in a daycare when I was yonger and babysat . I really never knew how I felt on how long I thought it might take me to have a baby but I sure am thinking about it now.
I got saved when I was 14 years old me and my family and dh family are baptist . I guess knowing that is deffinilty the best thing to ever happen to me in my life having a baby is the next and it has just not happend yet . I try to be positive and think that it will happen soon but soentimes you just never know.
I am going to start my testing in febuary 15 to be exact and I dont know what that intells but I just pray that it will tell good news . Witch doesnt everyone !!! but God never promised the road to be easy but He did promis to never leave me nor forsake me.
well enough about me my dad is leaving this weekend to go to iraq and I just pray he makes it there safe and sound , he really feels like this is what God would ahve him do with his life . he is very excited and I am to in a way . He will be working on a certin type of helicopters .
well I guess I am done for today I will tell you more later!!
well I am kinda concerned today af started a couple of days ago and is still not normal and boobs are still sore . I can help but htink I might be preggo but I dont want to wast the money on a test . I am going to the doc feb 15 so I guess I will find out then .
well today has been a hard day for me and I got some news that really has tested me . I found out that my youth pastors wife is preggers and they have been trying for a while . I am so excited for her and at the same time sad for me but I know that htey so deserve it they have been trying for so long , but my heart just breaks I want a baby to so bad and right now I just feel like i dont deserve one and I am never going to have one . why ccan it just happen for me what is wrong .
I am so ashamed of how I am feeling and I know I am so selfish and wrong fo rfelling this but I am just hurt inside .
well I just want to stop and tell the Lord that I love Him even though I know some times my life and actions totally contradidc who I say that I am spirituly I want my life to be your s and I want you to be able to use me for your glory I knwo that this is a preg. website but this is my journal and I just feel like writing this today . In this life Lord I want noghting more than to have a child but even more I want to be able to put the things behind me that doeth so eaisly sidetracks me . please Lord forgive me for being sucha crumy christian I am so ashamed of my self I am so sorry . please help me to be more like you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lord I pray for all of the women on this board that are so despritly wanting a child Lord you knwo their needs and you know there hurts to . I pray that you will comfort them and let them know that you know all about it !! I pray that you will open up there wombs and give them that precious life to bring up for your glory .
Lord and may there be soem one today that may not know you as there father I pray that you will open there eyes and show them that life is meaningless without you . please Lord help my light shine to this world and I just can not help wondering how many people are wondering in the cold hungery and no place to lay there head . please comfort them and help them .
Lord I love you and I am so thankful for a ll of the blessings that you have given me thank you so much !
If you read this and anything offends you I am sorry .
well I am having a great time this month not stressing out over everythign !!! I am so happy right now I just really feel at clam and I am really falling for my hotty hubby!!!! I have somthing special planed for him tonight !!!!
well I am going to just start out say than k you Lord for the bfp this month I am so happy for them I really am!!!! thank you for answering my prayers !!!
well today has been alittle hard for me becasue my tempt went back up today and I dont want to get exciteed but I am starting to feel wierd and well I just dont know I really want to be pregnant this month but if not there is always next month right?
dear Lord please hear my prayer please let me be pregnant this month . I really would love to have a child of my own and I promise that I will raise it to love you and to know you and Lord I will give it back to you so you can use it for your glory .
well today and the next two weeks are going to be really trying dh has decided to take a sa and it is scheduled for feb 20 and I am really nervouse that it might be low so I am going to have to do somthign about that .they said that the test would be back within 24 hours and so we would know the results the next day . I am just so nervouse I can not even began to descibe .
I am sorry i have just had a pretty emotional day I saw a couple of peope in church preggo and carying tiny babies and I just about broke down I am so sad so sad!!!!! i can not get a gripe on myself I am worried and scared thet dh sperm thing will be off screammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm someone help me I just feel like having a total melt down !!!
well sa came back great yeah !!!!!!!!!!! 35 million and great everything else but a little low on motility but they sadi that that could be from the drive there since it wasnt that low so all I have to say is
thank you LOrd so much for all of your many blessing I love you so much thank you !!!!