Amy's Journal- This month will be it!
So I figured I would start one of these journals, if nothing else but to keep me from going insane. My name is Amy and I live is Sunny So Cali.
When my DH and I finally got married (after 9 years together) in September 2005, we decided to have a baby. Took a few months here and there to really discuss it and then we said okay, let go for it. We got no where, we are still no where.
Went to doctor for a check up two weeks before I turned 35. She told me that they would refer me out when I had been trying for a year before 35, but once I turned 35, to come see her after I had been trying for 6 months. I was two weeks from 35 and had been trying for 7 months. I had to wait, because I wasn't 35 yet. Like something happened the day I turned 35, suddenly became old where before I was young? IDK stupid
They did an HSG test and told me I had a tilted uterous and a mild fibroid, nothing that would stop me from being pregnant. Then tried Clomid, cool part of that is usually my cycles are 24 days, on Clomid they became 26 or 27, I really thought I was preg after the first cycle cause I was at 28 days before AF came. Then I realized it was the hormones. This is my first month off and I am right back to 24 days.
Have tried and tried, I am heartbroken every month.
Yesturday the doctor called and told me I was hyper thyroid, whatever that is, and needed to see some specialist. Told me that could be why no baby. Course then they called for the appointment with the specialist and the first avalible appointment is the end of May.
To add insult to injury. I have one daughter who is adopted, I adopted her when she was 9 yo. She is now 19. She worked hard through hs and was doing good, she is VERY immature for her age and out of touch with reality but so are a lot of kids. A few years away at college was going to work wonders. So she goes to college a few hours away and misses home terribly, she is at a Christian college (her choice not mine) and rebels with some rules, dress code dumb stuff. She gets back together with her old bf who is an asshole and treats her like dirt. Their relationship was so intense the first time that she didn't have the maturity to deal with it. She still doesn't. So she came home at Christmas, mom, I am pregnant. I know she tried and I know she wanted this so she could drop out of school and come home to him. So here is a kid who has no right to get pregnant, bf is 17, they ahve no skills, no job, no nothing. No ability to give this child a home and my DD does not have the ability to raise a baby. So why does seh get one and I don't. Why is that fair. I love my dd but she won't even live with us anymore. (She is actually living with my DH's ex wife-- they had two girls too (now 22 & 24) so she is at their condo.
So yeah, feeling sorry for myself.
So this month is going to be it, I have decided LOL
About the time I will be Oing, we will be on vacation in NV for the presidents day weekend. We will have fun, relaxing etc. I have pre-seed to try, robatussin to take, and etc. This month I will test and have a positive!
Otherwise, I will cry in misery LOL.