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  1. #91
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    OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
    OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

    SORRY THAT IS ALL I CAN SAY

    Amy
    Adrienne (30) Ashley (28 ) Tiffany (25) and Zayden (4)
    I nursed my sweet baby for 1 year and 9 months.






  2. #92
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    okay....dude....reality check.....

    I have sorta calmed down. well actually I am not sure it has sunk in yet. Haven't had a chance to even tell DH yet since he has been working.

    Not sure I believe it yet.

    Not sure what to say or who to tell. I hate to say my first inclination was omg what if something is wrong...

    I think I have convinced myself so much that I couldn't have a baby that getting pregnant I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.

    hard decision....my oldest sd is looking at grad school across the country...good for her... but I think if I say anything prematurely she would decide not to go to stay here to see the baby. I don't want that. Once I tell DH we will have to agree not to tell DSD until after she finds out if she got in or not. That way, we can really encourage her to go rather than her not put the time and effort into her app.

    wow

    I might actually be pregnant

    I think I need to test again just to make sure....
    Amy
    Adrienne (30) Ashley (28 ) Tiffany (25) and Zayden (4)
    I nursed my sweet baby for 1 year and 9 months.






  3. #93
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    Guess what! I woke up this morning and tested again. I am still pregnant. Wow.

    So how come all those times that I was obsessing and experianced all those damn symptoms, only to have AF come knocking. . .the time I finally get preggo - I don't have a single symptom to speak of. weird.

    now if I can just get rid of this cold.

    BTW-- it hasn't sunk in yet.
    Amy
    Adrienne (30) Ashley (28 ) Tiffany (25) and Zayden (4)
    I nursed my sweet baby for 1 year and 9 months.






  4. #94
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    Me again!

    Still hasn't sunk in which is really weird. After ALLLLL this time of testing, obsessing, worrying, hopeing, I really did convince myself there is no way I woudl ever get pregnant.

    I tested again today, yep still positive.

    You know, I spent an hour yesturday reading through my journal, reminsicing on the good things, heartbreaks, and everythign else that has happened on this journey the last year.

    I think it hasn't sunk in cause of all the times I realy thought or hoped this was the time, and yet kept getting BFN and AF. I think I am just so scared to get my hopes up that it is real that I am not allowing myself to rejoice just yet.

    Pretty sad huh.

    wow for the moment, I am actually pregnant.

    On the other hand, I am so flipping sick with the flu -- and now that I can't take ANY meds to ease the symptoms, am pretty miserable anyway. Maybe thats why I am not all estatic yet, all I care about is getting over this flu.
    Amy
    Adrienne (30) Ashley (28 ) Tiffany (25) and Zayden (4)
    I nursed my sweet baby for 1 year and 9 months.






  5. #95
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    I have a confession to make. . . I still haven't told DH that I am pregnant

    WHAT

    Okay okay, I know. But I have a REALLY good reason.

    My oldest DSD, Adrienne, graduated from UCSB four years ago with a pretty much useless BA in Psychology. Age is brilliant, sweet, and very idealistic. The last four years have brought her a string of different jobs until she found a part time position as a preschool assistant teacher, and a string of pretty much useless boyfriends.

    Last Christmas, Age came to us with just some questions, at 25 FINALLY started to talk about where she is going with her life. I worked on her and worked on her and finally got a seed planted for graduate school. She found this "amazing program" for a masters degree in something like the ideology of education at Florida State that is coupled with a stint in the peace corp, something that really is up her alley. She got all excited and started the process to apply.

    About a month ago, she broke up with the last bf and moved home. She is actually staying at her moms right now cause mom guilt tripped her cause she always stays with us. But this whole week, she has been home with us. She is taking the GRE as I type so she was home studying for it like crazy all week.

    The problem is, I don't want Age to know yet that I am pregnant, I love her to death and we are great friends, but I am really concerned that if she thinks I am pregnant, she might change her mind about grad school. She has been a great cheerleader for us to have a baby and I know she will have some serious regrets about leaving for four years (two grad and two peace corp) at the same time as she gets a little sister or brother.

    With her around constantly, there is no way I can tell DH without her finding out. I know he will be so happy and will talk about it constantly till it sets in so she would know.

    Tomorrow night, I am putting her on a plane to go see my dad (even though they are step, my dad is the only grandpa she knows and he adores her) and dad is taking her to FSU to look at the school, interview the profs, find housing etc. After we get her to the airport, DH and I are going out to eat at our favorite restaurant. While it wasn't my great plan to tell him, I will tell him then.

    I don't want to tell Age at least until AFTER she submits her application. That way, if she gets accepted, we can really push her to go. If she knows before, she may not submit the application. I think her app is due May 1 which is perfect. maybe DH and I can sit down with her after my doctor visit on May 2 when we know all is well.

    So I have just been laying low and taking it easy until I can tell him tomorrow. I have a doctor visit today with my primary cause this flu is NOT getting better. I am still working though, which is not too much fun.

    I can't wait to tell DH though and we can sit down together and go over all the stuff we need to get done before baby!

    Okay, I have so much work to do, two appellate briefs and a bunch of motions, I just can't focus on work right now. Sigh.
    Amy
    Adrienne (30) Ashley (28 ) Tiffany (25) and Zayden (4)
    I nursed my sweet baby for 1 year and 9 months.






  6. #96
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    Best laid plans of mice and men. . . .

    So I have to find away to tell DH tonight. I just got back from the doctor cause my flu has turned into full blown bronkitis. Got some medications from her but had to make sure that they were fine for baby.

    If I wait to tell him tomorrow, he will worry about the meds, if I tell him I already discussed it with the doctor, he will want to know why I didn't tell him.

    Damn it, I really wanted it to be special and memorable when I tell him, but Age is home and will be there until tomorrow. sigh.

    I just REALLY wish I could feel better from this flu.
    Amy
    Adrienne (30) Ashley (28 ) Tiffany (25) and Zayden (4)
    I nursed my sweet baby for 1 year and 9 months.






  7. #97
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    We went out to dinner last night to celebrate Adrienne getting a 1300 on her GREs! Good job! Went to Charley's favorite Mexican place, when it came time to order drinks, I said my throat was killing me from coughing and I was just going to have water. DH was like gee you must be sick, here this Margareta won't hurt your throat! Nope, told him one of the meds that the doctor gave me said no alcohol.

    So last night, we were getting ready for bed. I had got a small bag for a bottle of wine and a bottle of martinelli's sparking apple juice. I wrapped a bib that said "I love my daddy" around the bottle and then right before he came into the room took a digital pregnancy test- said Pregnant really quick.

    He went in to the bathroom and I put the package on his pillow, he came out and was playing with the cats, took him a few minutes to even notice it. Whats this? He pulled out the bottle and bib and looked really confused, is this for the cat? (okay sometimes he is dense) told him to look again in the bag and he pulled out the test. Are you pregnant? he asked with this huge smile on his face. I told him yes, then he asked are you serious? I just laughed, and he jumped over and kissed me. It was really sweet, not as special as I wanted but more special then just blurting it out.

    Then he started worrying about the medication and the wine tasting we did two weeks ago in Santa Barbara. I told him the doc thought everything should be okay.

    I think it is starting to sink in finally!!!
    Amy
    Adrienne (30) Ashley (28 ) Tiffany (25) and Zayden (4)
    I nursed my sweet baby for 1 year and 9 months.






  8. #98
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    I'm going to have to start posting over on the pregnancy journals soon, but I don't want to lose this journal, so many thoughts, hopes, dreams, disapoinmtnets.

    Anyway, I knew it, the **** dad has come

    when I was re-reading my earlier posts, one was musing about what a pain in the butt I knew DH would be watching EVERYTHING I eat, drink, etc.

    I told him i was preg two nights ago, the next day he stopped on his way home and bought decaf coffee. mind you we have been drinking half/half for months now. I said well gee lets mix the half/half mix with the decaf so I can wean off, nope no way. I am drinking totally decaf.

    went out to eat last night to celebrate, I got a cobb salad. started eating it and he freaks, wait that has blue cheese, I don't think you can eat that, scrapped it all off my plate.

    I mean its sweet and its good but damn this is going to be a LONG 9mths! LOL
    Amy
    Adrienne (30) Ashley (28 ) Tiffany (25) and Zayden (4)
    I nursed my sweet baby for 1 year and 9 months.






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