Angela's 2nd TTC journal - TTC after a loss ((PG MENT))
So i guess now i feel ready to start a new chapter in my life.
I cant believe it was nearly a year ago i started my first TTC journal. Me and bf started TTC in December 2006. After 10 cycles we got our bfp November 5th 2007, we were so so pleased. I felt so grateful this could happen to me and i cherished my pregnancy every minute of the day. I went for an early scan at 6 weeks as i had slight pain and was worried it was ectopic. Everything looked great, there was a little heartbeat and a fetal pole of 3mm i was ecstactic!!
I couldnt believe this wonderful miracle was happening to us.
We went for our dating scan at 10-11 weeks on the 21st December 2007. I nearly passed out when the sonographer told me she was ever so sorry, it wasnt good news, there was no heartbeat. My baby had died at around 8-8.5 weeks. I had to have a D+C a week later as my body wasnt letting go. It seemed so cruel, i had carried my baby for 2 weeks and had not known. I didnt loose any of my symptoms, i wish i'd have known this could have happened, i may have been prepared. But then i dont think anything can prepare you for a loss like that. This was definately the worst time in my life. It is becoming easier as time goes by, im still very delicate about it but then it has only been 3 weeks. But, with all the support from the other ladies on these boards i finally feel a little more like i can look forward. I have ordered a lovely little memorial bracelet in memory of the baby we have lost. It has a heart charm on it with footprints one side and 'angel - 8wks' engraved on the other side. There will be a ruby birthstone put on to represent July - the month our baby should have been born, and a blue topaz for December - our loss. Its amazing how this has helped me grieve.
So whilst i will never forget what has happened, i have started looking forward to being able to TTC again. Once my body goes back to normal and i get my first af then we will start. It has been 2 weeks since my D+C and the bleeding has nearly stopped.