Thread: Angela's 2nd TTC journal - TTC after a loss

So i go home today from my course. Im in my hotel room at the mo as my train isnt until 12.20pm. Im looking forward to seeing my dogs, i have missed them so much!!

Symptoms - Tender breasts, increased urination, tender nipples. My bra has also got too small!!!!
I ordered my prenatal vitamins last night, hopefully they will arrive soon as im on the fertility plus at the moment, the ones i have ordered are the ante natal plus.
I have also ordered some more progesterone cream, i plan to keep using that until the end of the first trimester.

I keep getting the odd moment when i fgorget im pg, the second i remember its like finding out all over again, i cant help smiling to myself! Im so happy and im remaining positive and keeping relaxed.

Here are some pics of my hotel room!

Went shopping today and bought some maternity bras, more comfy than my regular bras but my boobs still hurt which i am very glad for. More nausea today which was great lol!!
Aside form that no other new symptoms to report.

It was nice being back in my own bed last night, i was so so tired from all that travelling!!

I plan to have a quiet night in front of the t.v watching some films now. Not sure what to have for dinner as i have nothing in, should have gone food shopping too today but just didnt have the time......perhaps i may order in. I think ill get a kebab, the healthy one of course - grilled chicken in pitta bread yum!

I met my pregnant friend for lunch again today, she was well. She was a little concerned as she said she had some pains yesterday....they are gone today so hopefully just little niggles where everything is stretching. I get the odd pang now and again but she said hers was a little more persistant for a while. Her dating scan is on 27th March so not long.

Speaking of scans, when we were talking earlier and she asked me if i was going to get an early scan, i said prob not as my plan was to wait until my dating scan. But, as she correctly said, that is a long time for me to wait, just under 2 months. Then that got me thinking, i would be reassured at having an early scan....there isnt much point in having one before 8 weeks as i will still worry up until that point as thats when i m/c last time. I think i will have one done at 9 weeks. I spoke to bf about it and he said to do whatever makes me feel better. Getting to the 12 week mark NOW would make me feel better but i just need to be patient. We wont get an early scan on the NHS but a friend had recommended a private place near me and they are very reasonable so i think i will ring them tomo.

I think i had a bit of a panic moment this evening, i was convinced my breasts werent as tender and i must be loosing my symptoms, but they are fine now, more tender than ever in fact!! I hate having that panic feeling, like i keep telling myself, what is meant to be will be. Relax and keep calm. Enjoy it!!!!!

I have just phoned the ultrasound place and booked my scan - 15th April at 11.45am. I feel better having doe that already!

I had a dream last night that i went for my 9 week scan and they said it was twins!! Then i went back for the 20 week one and they said it was 2 girls!!
Also the other night i had a dream that me and bf were buying all the baby equipment, pram, cot, furniture etc etc what a lovely dream!!

I have my booking in appointment tomo at 2.40pm with the midwife, i will be 5 weeks tomorrow, it feels good getting past the 4 week mark.

5 weeks, 4 days.

Time feels to be going slow but fast at the same time, i cannot describe it. Each mini milestone passes quickly but seems to take forever to reach.

Symptoms: Very tenver breasts, tender nipples, increased thirst/urination.....the fatigue has also kicked in this past week!

I met up with my friend again for lunch last Monday, her scan is actually on 26th March- think its about 10am ish. I will be hanging by my phone waiting for her news. Im keeping everything crossed for her.

I am also meant to be meeting my other friend that evening. Thats going to be hard as she is the one who has had 4 m/c. Im going to find it very difficult telling her my news. I know she will be pleased for me but undoubtedly its going to break her heart at the same time. Especially since her and her husband have stopped ttc now.

My dating scan appointment came through from the hospital - 6 May at 11.30am. I will be exactly 12 weeks wooo hooo!!

6 weeks 1 day.

My friend had her dating scan today, ALL WAS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!! Im so happy for her! Baby was measuring at 5.8cm, 12 weeks 1 day and moving all over the screen!!! Im so relieved for her, just need to get to my scans now!
She is a little nervous waiting for the NT results but im sure all will be great!!

Off to my other friends tonight, still not looking forward to telling her about me. Im not going to mention about S as that will updet her even more.

No new symptoms, the same as already mentioned. I had another nausea episode briefly today with a little dizziness but didnt last long.

So all went well at my friends house the other nitght. I wasnt sure how i would find the words to tell her but i did. She asked me how everything was and i just said 'thats what i wanted to tell you, i am'. She gave me a big hug and was very pleased for me but i could see the pain in her eyes. I didnt bring it up anymore unless she did. I asked her what stage her and her husband were at, she said she had loked into surrogacy but doesnt think she would be able to do that. She said she will end up feeling even worse, especially as she cant even used her own eggs. So she said they arent doing anything now. So sad.

I had quite a bit of nausea yeasterday, and a short nausea/dizzy spell at work on friday which was reassuring. All my other symptoms are remaining, im getting so thirsty too, cant believe how much water/juice im putting away which keeps me up all night for toilet breaks lol.

Not long til the 9 week scan now - 2 weeks and 2 days. Im going to be so excited but so nervous. All feels good though, i cant describe it but this pregnancy feels right, different from the last so thats a good sign.

I have has the odd bit of m/s now and again but today it has REALLY set in!! Its been there for most of today, disappearing for about an hour after lunch time but then it returned - i think its subsiding now, not that i mind!!!

Im counting the days, only 11 days til my scan, i cant wait, i have a real good feeling so that helps.

I had a bit of a panic weds morning, i went to the toilet and there was the smallest bit of brown spotting, like really small i only just saw it. I rang the doc and he said perfectly normal which is what i was pretty sure he would say but just wanted to hear it myself. We did bd the night before so im sure thats what caused it. I feel absolutely fine about it now though, my symptoms are really good have i have had no cramping or any spotting since.

I had another dream a few nights ago it was twins again!! I will be amazed at my scan if thats what it turn out like - like my body is trying to tell me or something!!!

I have decided after the 9 week scan i may tell a few more close friends. Will definately be telling my bosses too. We wont announce it properly though until after the 12 week scan.

Well i woke up this morning to more brown spotting. Not much at all again but slightly more than the other day. Of course this completely freaked me out and i wasnt prepared to just listen to the doctors 'oh its ok, its normal' etc etc, i needed to see for myself. So i rang the private place where we booked our 9 week scan and they said come straight down.

I had to wait a while as they were kind enough to be fitting me in, that 35 minutes was the hardest wait of my life. In my mind it was already over. I just heard those words in my head again - 'im so sorry.....'.

We got in the room, i said to the sonographer i have no bladder as we have just rushed down. She couldnt see anything with the external scanning and said i have a retroverted uterus (which i didnt know but have suspected), nothing to worry about but makes it hard for her to see things. She then done an internal scan and the baby popped up straight away. I couldnt see a heartbeat so i imediately waited for those words. Two seconds later she then said 'and there is its heart beating' !!!! Those were the best words i have ever heard in my life and i cant even describe the relief i felt. We even got to hear the heartbeat too - she said it was all good, at about 145bpm. Bf said he was really shocked when he heard it, initially he thought it was mine!! I dont think he realised you could do that so early on!!

I am measuring bang on, well one day ahead actually - 13mm, at 7 weeks 4 days. That in itself is so reassuring to know as with my last pregnancy we were 6 days behind, i wonder if that was a sign i was going to m/c? Who knows. I just know everything feels very different with this pregnancy and i feel so much better having seen the baby.

We are going to cancel our 9 week one and possible reschedule for 10 weeks, then i will be past when i m/c last time.

I have included the u/s picture!!

So i am 8 weeks today!! Yippeeee!! Just to got chill over the next couple of weeks until my 10 week scan, then i will be able to really relax. When i had the m/c before, the baby had died at 8 weeks 4 days hense why this period is so nerve racking.
But all feels great, i have nice symptoms still - tender breasts, fatigue, on and off m/s, increased urination and thirst. Plus i feel more positive this time around, and having had the scan on saturday and knowing the baby was measuring on with a good hb really is a great sign.

I told my bosses, told J yesterday, it was her reaction i was most worried about but she was fine, seemed pleased enough for me, and i told D today who was also pleased for me.
Thats made things feel alot more real now too which is great!