I think you will find that all women who have gone through a loss have a horrible time accepting the good when it finally comes around. Your circumstances have been more extreme than average. You are allowed a little bargaining, you are allowed not to feel elated, you are allowed to cry for the possible loss of your other baby, you are allowed.
I didn't start to feel connected to my pregnancy this time until just a couple weeks ago. It is just how it might be for you, and that is OK. Steven can grieve and celebrate in his own ways, you are going to need different ways.
hun, I understand totally. I would have given God almost anything to have my girls back. I understand. I think God has probably heard it all before, so you can 'bargin' all you want
I'm so glad that the appointment went well, I've been thinking about you all day.
My fingers are crossed for your little bean, I too would pay the extra to see the bean sooner...
You have every right to feel the way you feel You are "connected" with every baby conceived inside of you.
I'm glad that the ultrasound showed a healthy little bean! I'm sorry about the loss of the other one (was that a for sure or a possibility?).
Every person processes things differently. You guys can each deal w/ the m/c and this pregnancy in your own ways - there is no right or wrong. IMO, you just need to be able to support each other at the end of the day, and I know you do.
I'm sorry for the loss of the twin. I'm sooo excited about the good hb, sac, etc. and the relief and joy seeing that must have brought to you...anxiety too. Play it close and explain it to Steven, he'll understand why.
Lots and lots of gentle hugs.
I'm sorry for the loss of the twin. I'm so glad for you guys though that there is a healthy wee bean in there and thriving. I'm sure that God wouldn't mind some bargaining, He's always ready to listen!
Ailbhe, May 2006
Rian, October 2008
Oh Angela, I'm so thankful that the doctors think that this is going to be a succesfull pregnancy. You and Steven deserve it.
And I'm also so sorry that there might have been a twin. Kind of a bittersweet moment seeing that I'm sure.
You and Steven just need to remind yourselves that everyone shows their emotions differently and there is no right or wrong. But just as excited as he wants to be, you want to refrain for now. Maybe he thinks that your quietness means that you're doubting and worrying? And that may be a bit true, as you stated in the bad sperm comment, but would explaining to him that trying to keep the whole situation out of your mind (even if things look really good right now) is your defense mechanism.....maybe he'd get it.
to you, to Steven and to big sister Erin!
Hey, can I ask you a stupid technical questions about IVF? Like, when they fertilized the eggs does that count as days preggo? Or does that count start when they've implanted into your uterus?
Congrats on finding a heartbeat. That is great. I am sorry to hear that you could have possibily lost a twin. Life is so bitter sweet sometimes.
I totally understand what you are saying. A m/c really destroys the innocence a woman has towards pregnancy. You bargain with God as much as you want. I feel all is fair in conception, pregnancy and delivery. LOL.
You have so many women (and men) praying for you and Steven and this bean. You are off to a great start.
Please let us know how it goes on Thursday.
We love ya.
Yey for a healthy bean! You are totally justified in your emotions. I agree though, God doesn't need you to bargain with Him. No need for that. Just keep your faith strong, that's all He needs from you and He will take care of the rest.
My frugal living blog: Family Friendly Frugality
Angela-Great news on the healthy u/s! I, too, am sorry about the loss of the twin. I have no advice, but know we are all behind you-
ohhh hon, first of all, I'm sorry that there seems to be a lost twin.
It's common that the doubling time decreases after a while, it happened to me when I was pregnant with Dana (and I freaked out), and it happened to Sabby as well, and at the end, all was fine. Hopefully this will make you feel a little better.
Since you've gone through a m/c not so long ago, you have all the right to be nervous. I just pray to God that he gives you and Steve (and Erin) the baby you guys deserve.
We are here for you, to listen to you and give you support, and hopefully celebrate your healthy baby with you.