Baby #2- where are you?!

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AirForceWife's picture
Joined: 06/13/07
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Baby #2- where are you?!

I've been mulling this over for a long time and finally bit the bullet and sat down to start this. My name is Angela and my husband and I have a 2 year old daughter named Erin. We didn't even try for her and figured that we wouldn't have any problem at all getting pregnant again. So, I stopped taking my birth control 11 months ago. We've been trying since June of 2007. When I didn't get pregnant within the first couple of months, I thought it was just due to the stress of us having moved across the country, my husband's job, etc. Then when it got to be about 4 months, I was concerned. I knew in my hear that something was wrong.

In January, we had a sperm analysis done. It showed that my husband has severe morphology problems- 100% of his sperm are shaped abnormally and he only has 39% motility (50% is normal). This means that they may have two heads or two tails, or a crooked tail, or an oddly-shaped head, or no tail, or pinheads. Most of them don't swim correctly, and if they do, they can't penetrate the egg (theoretically). Another S/A showed consistent results, with motility worsening to 21%. We're not sure if he has always had these numbers or if something happened during his Iraq tour. Most likely, this is the way my husband was made, and things have worsened over the last 2.5 years just enough to cause this, or we got very lucky with our daughter.

In February, I had an HSG. My left-tube was either in spasms or is blocked. Also, there was an odd "filling" in my uterus- a straight line that looks like it could be scar tissue. It may even be in the abdominal tissue directly above the uterus but appeared to be in the uterus due to the x-ray. Anyway, the RE told us to try on our own for 2 more months.

Here we are, 2 months later, and it hasn't worked. I've just started seeing a new RE, because I wasn't totally satisfied with the original one. I feel very good about the decision to switch. I met with my new dr. on Friday, and she has ordered some blood tests, an ultrasound, and possibly another HSG to determine if my left tube is open and what that line was. After that, we'll be pursuing an IUI with Clomid.

Anyway, this will be my place to vent, cry, update people, etc. Infertility- even secondary infertility- is a confusing and very upsetting thing to go through. It will be nice to type all of this out.

AirForceWife's picture
Joined: 06/13/07
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My temperature fell very low this morning. I'm sure AF will be here tomorrow or the next day. At least we can get the show on the road with more testing.

AirForceWife's picture
Joined: 06/13/07
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Well, I've met with my new RE again and she did an ultrasound. My ovaries and uterus looked good, and all of my hormone levels are great. We had a long discussion about how to go about determining whether or not my left tube is open or not. We decided to do another HSG....both tubes are open and my uterus looks good. Also had another S/A done and it looks like DH's sperm is improving- his motility went from 21% to 56%. We are perfect candidates for an IUI, which we'll be starting in May.

AirForceWife's picture
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I should be starting AF tomorrow. I'll go in for a baseline ultrasound and then I'll start Clomid from CD 3-7. I did some research and discovered that taking Clomid on CD5-9 (the typical protocol) produces stronger eggs. Taking it from CD 3-7 produces more than one egg. That makes sense since they'll want DH's boys to have more than one target to hit.

I'm feeling hopeful. I think about this coming cycle and I'm hopeful. The last 6 months I haven't been hopeful and I haven't not been hopeful- apathetic would be a good word for it. I guess I've just been going through the motions, passing time each month because I *knew* we were going to need some help to get pregnant.

And now we're finally here, and I'm hopeful. I still can't walk through the maternity section at Target without getting weepy, and I still will not hold a newborn baby because it makes my heart ache. Hopefully I'll be able to do all of that soon without feeling so much sadness.

AirForceWife's picture
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Well, I'm waiting for AF to come. My temp was way low this morning and I've been spotting. As soon as she really starts I'll call the RE and set up an ultrasound and an appt. to get my Clomid. Fun stuff!

I got a new book yesterday to read to keep me busy at night. I love to read and love to get involved in a good story, so that will keep me busy at night. I also ordered 27 Dresses and P.S. I Love You from Netflix for this weekend.

We're also going up to Montana for week in a month. I figure that if this IUI doesn't work, at least I'll have something to look forward to and something to pass the time between the next one.

AirForceWife's picture
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AF arrived this morning, and my baseline ultrasound is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 9:15. If my ovaries look ok, they'll be calling in an RX for Clomid and I'll start that on Saturday.

We both had 4 vials of blood drawn this afternoon for our infectious disease panel that they have to do before any IUI. I have never had a tech hurt so badly when they poked me. And I could feel the needle just sitting in my vein....ugh. Not fun.

AirForceWife's picture
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I had my baseline ultrasound this morning. Everything looked great! I start Clomid tomorrow. Instead of going in for another ultrasound, I'm going to be using an ovulation kit. That's fine with me, since I've peed on about a million this last year, and I certainly know how to read them. The RE's office recommended the ClearBlue digital easy read- the ones that give you the nice little smiley face- because the results are not as ambiguous as determining the color of a line. I've got a bunch of First Response but I'll also get a pack of the ClearBlue to use as a back-up. The day I get the positive ovulation test, I have to call right away and we'll do the IUI the next morning.

We're also not using the trigger shot. I ovulate on my own each month so the doctor didn't see any point in giving it to me to induce ovulation.

I just bought plane tickets for Montana. I'm excited about our trip! It's giving me something to look forward to.

AirForceWife's picture
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I'm pretty sure the Clomid is starting to give me sore boobs. And an appetite.

Lovely- all of my hard work the last few months will be undone by Clomid...I guess if I get pregnant, that would do it too, though. And if Clomid helps me to get pregnant, then I'm all for it.

Joined: 05/14/08
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Yea for no shot! Smile

Joined: 05/14/08
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"Yea for no shot! " referencing trigger shot above.

susan_2424's picture
Joined: 09/07/05
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Well it's been a few days, how are you feeling now?

AirForceWife's picture
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Yay for comments! I hope more people start to leave me comments. It helps to know that people care enough to check my journal.

I finished my Clomid, and with the exception of being really tired and sore boobs, I feel fine. I'm having an annoying problem, though...I'm spotting really heavily. It's old blood (black and brown- sorry if too much information) but it's really annoying.

I'm on CD 9 right now and I had a negative OPK. They say to start using them on CD10, so I started a day earlier, but I wanted to be sure.

Hopefully by the end of this coming week/next weekend, I'll have done the IUI!

AirForceWife's picture
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Uh-oh. Positive OPK this morning. This is not good- my RE's office is closed for the weekend unless you've contacted them ahead of time to let them know you may be needing to see someone for an IUI. I have no way to get ahold of them.

Crap.

Maybe it's just a fluke? I'll test again in a little bit.

susan_2424's picture
Joined: 09/07/05
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Seriously??? I don't know much about this kind of stuff, is that really early?

Did you test again yet??

AirForceWife's picture
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I am so confused! I've had 3 more positives on First Response OPK's, but a digital was negative!

I think we're going to head down there in the morning and have them do an ultrasound on me right away. If it shows I haven't ovulated yet, maybe I'll just get them to freeze the sperm sample and we can have it on hand.

Ugh. I thought this was going to be easier and it's not. Sad

AirForceWife's picture
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And Susan- yep, this is waaaay early for me to be ovulating.

AirForceWife's picture
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I just decided to not go down. I've taken more digital ovulation tests and they're negative. I trust them more since you don't have to look at the line on them. I think when I cancel my IUI appointment, I'll have them schedule an ultrasound for tomorrow or Tuesday to see what is going on.

susan_2424's picture
Joined: 09/07/05
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So with the line tests, you both lines have to be equally dark to be positive, right? But the digitals are negative? At how many dpo do you usually ovulate?

AirForceWife's picture
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Susan- yep, the test line has to be as dark or darker than the control line. First Response tests are known for being sensitive (just like their pregnancy tests), but I'm thinking that it must have been some residual clomid in my system. I've taken another digi and it was negative, and an Answer OPK, and it was in no way close to positive.

I usually ovulate on CD 17-19. I'm fairly confident I have no ovulated yet. I'm really hoping I go down there this morning for an ultrasound and they confirm that, obviously because I don't want to have missed the IUI opportunity, but because I want to prove to them that I know my body. I know that sounds silly, but it's true. Blum 3

I'm so....what's the word....ambivalent about this cycle. I don't know if it's because my mind is telling me to not be hopeful, or if it's because I have my vacation to look forward to, or what.

Confession: a few months ago, I contacted cheri 22. She's a psychic that is known around pregnancy and trying to conceive websites for predicting when women will get pregnant and their genders. She's has about an 80% rate of being correct. I'm not real big on psychics at all, but it was cheap and a fun thing to do. She said that I would conceive in June and be due in March. So we'll see.

I can't wait to be pregnant again. Really. The thought of it makes me very excited. So I can't quite figure out my feelings right now. Weird.

Joined: 03/16/15
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I like Cheri's prediction. Preggo in June is just around the corner. When is your u/s scheduled for? It will tell you if you ovulated right? I don't think you did. I would trust the digital test before the line one. Tried the line one a few times when we were TTCING before Gabriel and I never got a positive. LOL. It freaked me out so bad.

I know it has been a very long road but I so excited for you b/c I know that one of these days you are going to announce you BFP. You are getting closer and closer to that date!!!!!

sox79's picture
Joined: 08/04/05
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Hi Angela!! Cheri's prediction sounds promising!!! Hopefully she's right and you'll be sharing your BFP really soon. You know we're rooting for ya!!!

AirForceWife's picture
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The ultrasound confirmed that I did NOT ovulate. I have 4 follicles on my right ovary- 10, 9, 10 and 11. I have one on my left that is at 10. On Clomid, they like to see follicles at 22mm before they'll give you the trigger or just go ahead and do the IUI. Most likely I'll ovulate from the right ovary, and just because I have 5 follicles does not mean I'll ovulate 5 eggs. Phew. Thank God. Can you imagine?

I'm going back on Friday for another ultrasound. Most likely, I'll have my IUI this weekend. We are going to be doing the trigger shot after all. My doctor said that she does want to do it after all, just for timing sake. Once you have the shot, you'll be sure to ovulate in 36 hours.

susan_2424's picture
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I'm glad you didn't ovulate yet.

I too like that prediction that you'll get pregnant in June! I'm wondering if your mixed emotions are just not wanting to get disappointed right before a fun trip if it doesn't happen this month. I can imagine it's a roller coaster ride.

I too look forward to the day when you announce your BFP!!

Joined: 09/19/05
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Hey I've been stalking here but wasn't sure if you wanted comments. Now you better hang onto your hat! Wink

I'm so glad you didn't o yet! And woo hoo for your dr wanting to go ahead w/ the trigger. Holy crap, dude, you're gooonnnnnaaa get preeeggggnnaaant! (I'm still playing the role of excitement for you, ok? You go ahead and feel ambivalent and all, the rest of us will be nervously excited.) 5 follicles, huh? muwahahhahahaa. I hope Steven's ready for multiples!

Thinking of you lots.

Joined: 01/04/07
Posts: 58

I've lurked here too, but wasn't sure if you wanted comments Smile

I'm glad that you didn't O, and I hope that the IUI goes well!

Oh, and Cheri's prediction was right for me. She saw March as either conception, finding out or due date month. March is when I got my BFP!

Joined: 03/16/15
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Hey there, I'm here too! Just wanted to tell you that I'll be thinking about you this weekend! I sure hope Cheri is right with her prediction. Your BFP has been a long time coming!!

AirForceWife's picture
Joined: 06/13/07
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I'm loving all of the comments!! Thanks! Smile

So, I've been spotting. Actually, streaking. It looks like old blood, but yesterday, it looked like period blood. The doctor thinks it's from the ultrasound on Monday. She did put the wand up under my cervix, which wasn't comfortable and I felt a lot of pressure, so that may be part of it.

Anyway, no positive on the OPK yet, but my cervix is high, soft and open and I've got EWCM (eggwhite CM, for my cousin Jennifer who may not know the abbreviations ;). I'm anxious to see what my follies are doing...and how many look like they might drop eggs.

I'm thinking we'll be doing an IUI in the next few days!

AirForceWife's picture
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The ultrasound showed one almost mature follicle on my right ovary. I'll trigger tonight and we'll do the IUI 36 hours later, so Saturday morning. Steven has to give me the shot tonight. It's subcutaneous and in the stomach. I told him just to grab a fat roll and jab it. He really seemed a little grossed out by it, but I don't think I can do it to myself.

The doctor said that I will only ovulate 1 egg this month. Fine by me...our chances may not be as high, but at least we won't have twins!

My best friend said to me "You may get pregnant on Saturday- are you excited?!" My response? Um, no. I'm just not. I'm not hopeful for this cycle for some reason. I feel kind of ambivalent about it, still. I don't know what is wrong with me. :rolleyes:

Joined: 01/04/07
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I don't think I could give myself a shot either. Maybe in my arm, but I'd have issues with my stomach. I have a good feeling that this is going to work for you!

AirForceWife's picture
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I hope you're right Melinda. Smile

What is wrong with me? Right now I feel kind of down and depressed. Is it because it's all so anti-climatic? Is it because I'm in defense mode and trying not to get my hopes up? And then I start to think that because I'm feeling kind of ambivalent, maybe my mood will be off and that will impact any conception that could occur.

I'm going to a Mom's night tonight. That should be fun.

Joined: 01/01/07
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"AirForceWife" wrote:

Yay for comments! I hope more people start to leave me comments. It helps to know that people care enough to check my journal.

I wasn't sure what the protocol was: if it was ok to leave comments or if this was YOUR place....

Angela I know this has been an extremely tough road for you and I'm praying you and Steven have success in bringing another child into your family. You're such a great mom and a wonderful friend to us Blossom Mommies. :bighug:

Wishing you the best of luck my dear!!

Joined: 09/19/05
Posts: 685

Oh, hun, I hope you can feel my hugs. I'm no PhD but I'm pretty sure you're doing some self-preservation.

Are you talking to anyone while you go through this? I mean besides the group therapy you get here. Wink

AirForceWife's picture
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I think talking on here and on the March board, and to Steven, my cousin, my best friend, and my Mom actually does help a lot. So I'm very grateful I have those outlets.

I just got back from my playgroup's monthly mom's night out. It was fun- a couple of my close girlfriends and I got fried pickles as an appetizer, and they were actually quite delicious. I was so surprised.

Steven gave me my shot. The initial injection hurt. Then it really itched underneath my skin. I didn't watch him do it, but he finished and then I looked at him, and he said "now which one of us is going to throw up?" I said, "Not me!" and he said, "Well, you didn't watch it!"

So I kissed him and that was that. It wasn't too bad the anticipation leading up to it was the worst.

Joined: 03/16/15
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Hi there,
I was just browsing and came across your journal. We have very simliar stories. I read your intro and felt like I was reading my own. I'm going to PM you if that's okay.
Lots of luck to you and I hope you get a pos OPK soon!

AirForceWife's picture
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I have to say, it was really strange to have a positive pregnancy test this morning after a year of not seeing anything, except for evaporation lines. Too bad it was just the trigger shot! LOL.

Joined: 05/14/08
Posts: 39

[Quote]"Anyway, no positive on the OPK yet, but my cervix is high, soft and open and I've got EWCM (eggwhite CM, for my cousin Jennifer who may not know the abbreviations ;). I'm anxious to see what my follies are doing...and how many look like they might drop eggs. " [End Quote]

Yes, thank you for the acronym help! I'm so confused, but following along...

Joined: 05/14/08
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"AirForceWife" wrote:

I hope you're right Melinda. Smile

What is wrong with me? Right now I feel kind of down and depressed. Is it because it's all so anti-climatic? Is it because I'm in defense mode and trying not to get my hopes up? And then I start to think that because I'm feeling kind of ambivalent, maybe my mood will be off and that will impact any conception that could occur.

I'm going to a Mom's night tonight. That should be fun.

Good plan! A Mom's night out is a great idea. Have a fabulous time, relax, and just be a girl!

AirForceWife's picture
Joined: 06/13/07
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I had my IUI today! It was really easy....felt just like a papsmear. Steven's sperm count was through the roof and his motility was 70% pre-wash and 75% post-wash- they like to see 50%. So hopefully this will work. We'll do a few more if it doesn't before we decide what to do. I'm thinking that the doctors were confident that it will work at some point.

Oh, and all I paid today was $430. Of course, that doesn't include ultrasound monitoring and meds, but that amount is much more manageable than the $15000 price tag of IVF.

So the waiting game begins...

Joined: 03/16/15
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Sounds like things went really well today! I can't wait to stalk you through your 2ww. Come on swimmers, get that egg!!

AirForceWife's picture
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I had a temperature jump this morning, so I guess I did ovulate yesterday. So the timing was perfect. Yay!

susan_2424's picture
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Oh Angela, how exciting!!! Now for the dreaded 2ww! Smile

Joined: 01/04/07
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I'm not very familiar with IUIs, but I'm assuming that means you're in the 2WW now? Which would mean you'll be testing while you're in MT? I hope you have access to a computer while you're there, don't make us wait to find out how it goes!! Biggrin

AirForceWife's picture
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Melinda- I'll find out when we're in Montana. My period is due in 12 days, so Saturday the 7th of June. And I will have my computer, so I'll definitely let all of you know. At least if it's negative, I'll be on a much-anticipated vacation.

Joined: 05/14/08
Posts: 39

Angela, Great to hear it went so well! And you sound very upbeat. You two were on my mind all day. Now all you have to focus on for a few days is packing!

Joined: 08/03/05
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Angela,

I sure hope the best for you and Steven. I"ll continue to pray for you and your family. Thank you for allowing us to read about your journey.

JESS

AirForceWife's picture
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Well, I am 3 DPO (days past ovulation) and 3 DPIUI (days past iui). It's weird- my temperatures are higher this month than they usually are- I'm sure it's from the Clomid and Ovidrel.

I'm already thinking to next month. They have to do another baseline ultrasound before I start taking Clomid again. The thing is, I'll be in Montana on the day they normally do it. So, I'm going to call tomorrow and ask them if they can do it the day before my period starts. If they can, I'll have to run by the doctor's office before the airport next Friday.

I'm not feeling like it worked this month. I knew I was pregnant with Erin...way before I even had a positive test. I'm thinking I'll just know again. Maybe not, though.

I'm just in the waiting game right now....

Joined: 09/19/05
Posts: 685

Waiting sucks ass.

Do you get to POAS or do you have to go in to get blood drawn when the 2ww is up? Or do you POAS then go for blood?

More hugs coming at ya.

sox79's picture
Joined: 08/04/05
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Just caught up here. Hope this is it Angela!!! I feel like we're all in the 2WW right there with ya!!!!! Hoping and praying that this is it!!!!!

AirForceWife's picture
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K- Right now I'm POAS just to test out my trigger. I think it's just about out of my system. I go in for a blood test on Thursday, but I do have a lot of cheapo tests that I'll probably use.

Today is not good. I don't know what is wrong with me. I'm feeling like I'm going to cry at the drop of a hat. I'm sure it's the Clomid and trigger shot. I haven't felt this down and depressed in a LONG time. I feel fat and bloated- again, hormones- and just SAD. Sad

I've been so upbeat and I hate feeling like this.

Joined: 01/04/07
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:bigarmhug:

I'm sure it's the clomid and the trigger making you feel that way, but I hope you feel better soon Sad

3dpo is still really early - I wouldn't count this month out if you're not feeling it yet. I think that's a defense thing though - I know by the time I got this BFP I was convinced that I wasn't...11 months of BFNs made me really wary of getting my hope up.

Joined: 11/01/05
Posts: 4

Angela!

Ok, I'm all caught up now. I'm sorry you are having an emotional day today. That's never fun. I'll be your positive side today! You KNOW you are beautiful! Clint says all the time how beautiful you are and what an amazing family you have!! I have no doubt you will be pregnant this time or next month

I'm here for your venting pleasure my friend!

~Shannon

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