So AF finally showed up, and I must admit I was totally surprised by it. I took my temp yesterday morning, and it was 98.1. Everything I've read always tells me it will drop down before AF comes, so I figured it was just the start of more rocky temps. And low and behold, I started bleeding.
Overall I was really excited. I told DF I'm finally normal! So hopefully I'll O this cycle, and it won't end up being another anno one. Hard to tell so far, due to the fact I've only had two temps, but overall I'm hopeful.
Other than that, one week til we leave for hawaii! And I'm getting really excited. Tommorow's my last day at my full time job, and I'm definately ready for it. I still have on day at my part-time one so that's not too bad. Also the girls at that job are throwing me a party friday night, so that should be fun. Then it'll be time to actually starting cleaning, planning, visiting people, and packing! I can't believe it's almost here.
Cycle Day 6.
So two days til we leave, overall I'm really excited.... although I'm having a hard time sleeping because of it. I have a few errands to run tommorow, and then it'll be time to pack. I can't believe I'm getting married this weekend, it's all just seems surreal. To be honest it feels like we just got engaged. Overall I'm happy with the fact we chose to do a destination wedding, but I've come to the conclusion no matter what time of wedding you have someone will not be happy.
I may end up telling my supposed best friend off tommorow. I was really hoping we could salvage our friendship, but obviously we can't. I just can't handle her negativity anymore, she says she cares about other people, but I really don't think she does. Maybe she does to a point, but I don't think she can see around what she needs. I really feel this stems from her own insecurity, but I've been putting this moment off for the past year. I just can't have a close friendship with someone who is so negative.
Other than that, temps are looking pretty good so far... much more stable than they were last cycle. I'm pretty hopeful I'll O, but to be honest I'm okay if I don't. I'm definately not as obsessive as I was last cycle. I have a feeling because I'm just looking forward to relaxing and spending time with my soon to be DH.
So the day went pretty well. I got a lot done, and probaly spent a bit more money than needed.... although I still need to run to CVS and get an umbrella. Saw my friend and didn't tell her off, although it was definately awkward.... she didn't even really ask about the wedding. She asked me if I got my shoes and that was about it. I don't even think she could tell someone what islands we're going to. So yeah, shows how much she cares huh?
Other than that, tommorow's looking like a funfilled day of packing and cleaning. Can't believe it, only one day left and then we're hawaiian bound! Overall, I can't wait! I'm so in need of this vacation.
So we're home! Definately was a wonderful trip. The wedding turned out goregous, everything I could of hoped for. I can't wait til I get some pictures back. However I think I should of planned to just stay on Maui, the island hopping was a bit too much for us. We were pretty ready to come home. It definatley feels good to be in the house. Although I'm not looking forward to going back to work on tuesday.
As for my cycles. I really don't have any clue what's going on. AF came on September 4th, which was perfect because if I o'd it would fall when we were in hawaii. Well, all was going well until the 18th. I started spotting.... and AF came yet again. Well here I am on day 12 now, and yeah guess what happened today? More spotting, I'm hoping it doesn't end up being another AF. If it does end up that way, I'll be calling the Dr on Monday to see what can be done, or if I'm just supposed to wait it out. overall it's pretty frustrating.
Yeah, so the third visit from the witch this month. Overall quite frustrated because I pretty much feel like ****. I'm tired, cramping, digestion sucks.... so yeah. I will give it a bit longer and then I'm going to go and see my Dr.
So I'm feeling a bit down today....
The day overall wasn't horrible, I actually had fun at times today. Although it did remind why I don't like my job. I really don't like mean people, I just seriously wanted to tell this guy to shut the **** up. I know this may make me sound inconsiderate, but I just can't stand it. I mean I understand he's in pain, he's miserable, he's been wronged by doctors, however do not ****ing take it out on me and talk to me like I'm a moron when you don't speak clearly. Thus, why I hate my job. As awful as it sounds, I hate patients most of the time more than anything. I hate people thinking I'm their maid.
However other than that, I'm feeling a bit blue about the whole TTC. Going back to work reminded me why I need to go back to school. However I'm not so sure I'll be able to do it. I mean yeah, I can go back, but I'm not a good student. I don't enjoy school. Going to work full time and doing online classes will be hard. Not to mention obviously we want children soon. Am I asking for too much? Is it possible to do it all? I can't possibly ask David to take over all the financial costs, take on baby care/costs. It's totally not fair to him or our future children. At the same time I can't see staying in the job I'm in. Say I go part-time/contingent at both jobs and have a kid. I wouldn't stay that way forever. So that means eventually I'll be in the same place I am now. So I feel like it comes down to what do I want more? A child, or a happy workplace.
My current goal is to still actively TTC. Stay full time at work, do online classes part time, and see how it goes. Either way I can get one semester in... I really need to see if I can still get reimbursed for the schooling through work if I'm not full time. If I can manage it on part time, then I could still make the same amount between both jobs if I worked full time at one. Overall, it's a rough situation, and I feel like I'm leaping around on rocks hoping I don't fall in. I really don't want to wait 5 years to TTC again... David's older and I really don't think that's fair to our children to sacrifice the time/ability he'll b able to spend with him because I want more. Then is it fair to have children at the same time and still want more? I just really don't know right now.
So I got a partial email back from Cheri. It said June - Girl. Personally hoping she's wrong, considering my cycle started on Sept 30th.... because that would mean June wouldn't be an EDD, it would be a conception date. I really don't want to wait that long. However we'll see, I suppose it's all in fun. At this point I'll just be happy if I ovulate.
In other news went to a wedding tonight, and while it was beautiful. So glad I did not have a formal wedding, my goodness that is just not for me. I had so much fun at my wedding, and I just don't think I would of cared for all the formalities. Also realizing I really need to start exercising.... I so need to loose a few pounds.
blah.... soooo tired. Could totally go to bed right now, and just sleep the night away.
In other news... feeling a bit weird. I've been having discomfort/pains on my right side. Now mind you I always feel much more on this side anyways even before the ectopic. However you would think removing a tube would change some of that, however my ovary tends to disagree... I'm slightly concerned due to the fact that's how all my other previous billion periods started was with pains/cramps on that side. Hopefully it's not that, perhaps me getting ready to O. However if I do manage to get another period, it will definately be time to call the Dr. Regardless of TTC, I have no intentions of suffering through a period every other week.
Other than that, the weekends already over, which is sad. Tried to show my parents wedding pictures last night, but of course the power went out. I didn't even really get to the good ones. So that'll have to wait a few days.
In happy news! My new bedroom set is coming thursday! So excited, although feeling a bit of sticker shock even though everything was on sale. It'll be so nice to sleep on a good mattress and a bigger bed.
Quite a temp jump today... overall kinda excited, but not entirely getting my hopes up. Went from 97.17 to 97.71. So far the highest temp this cycle, so maybe I o'd yesterday? Didn't notice a whole lot of cm though, although I did have a decent amount yesterday. Not to mention I slept really good last night, so I suppose that could relate as well. So many possibilities, lol. I think I may go out and pick up some opk's today as well.
*crosses fingers* We did manage to BD last night, however that will be the only time in over a week due to the fact we've been busy and tired from jet lag. I'd prefer a bit more than that, however if I did O I suppose it only takes once.
So I'm 99.9% I o'd or am o'ing.
I made it out to the store and purchased an opk. Tested when I got home, and got a positive! Sooo excited. I'm not so sure DH is, he just kinda looked at me. Although he's not really one to show excitement in the first place. So we'll be BD'ing tonight and hopefully we'll catch it.
I so know I'm going to obsess my *** off now though. If so I should be able to test around the 20th though. The one thing is though, that if I do get pregnant. This will be almost the same time period that I was pregnant w/my ectopic. I find that slightly unnerving. I'm sure I'm going to be paranoid regardless, but to have almost the same exact timeline is weird.