Wow, I never thought that the day would come when I would be starting a TTC journal, the time has gone so fast :shock: You see, I have been lurking around on pg org for a long time now, just waiting for my time and now it has almost arrived.
I guess that I should introduce myself to anybody who may be reading this My name is Kerry, I'm 24 (25 on the 13th June!) and married to Mark who is 33. We have been married for nearly 21 months, but have been together for 7 years next month. We have a little boy, Connor, who was 2 on the 26th of May. He is the absolute light of our lives, the best thing that ever could have happened to us.
When I found out I was pregnant with Connor, Mark and I were going through a rough patch. I felt that I was too young to settle down (we were living together in our own house) and because of the age gap between us, felt a little bit resentful that Mark had the chance to "live" a bit before he met me, but because we got together when I was 18, I felt like I had missed out on something. I now know that this is not true and that the grass is no greener on the other side, but I learned the hard way. I nearly lost everything.
Anyway, I took the test one day after work. I don't even know what made me think to do a test, my cycles were irregualr and I was only 4 days late, which was nothing unusual. The test came back with a faint positive, needless to say I cried, but not with happiness, I couldn't believe that this was happening to me. I decided that I wasn't going to tell Mark at the time, that I would wait a few weeks before I said anything, but I needn't have bothered, it all came spilling out 2 days later. Looking back, how mark found out was quite funny. I had bought a new eyeliner pencil and had taken it out of the celephane wrapper. I must have left the wrapper on the side. Anyway, Mark came downstairs holding this wrapper in his hand and then started waving it in my face and asked me if I had something to tell him. I looked him dead in the eye and said "I bought a new eyeliner pencil, I'm sorry I should have consulted you first" The look of relief on his face was a picture. He sighed and said "oh, so you're not pregnant then?" to which i replied "as a matter of, I am" He cried, I cried.
A few weeks later he said that he was going to go to tenerief for a week to stay with a friend because he thought that we both needed some time to think. While he was away, I'm ashamed to admit that I lloked into abortion on the internet. I know that on these boards that this may offend some people and this certainly is not my intention. I also understand that some people do have terminations and I am not against the idea, each person has their reasons, but I just couldn't even think of it after what I read.
Later that week I went out for the night with some people from work and had fun. It was fun just to not have to think about Mark or the baby, even if it was just for the night. I got home about midnight and when I went to the loo found I was bleeding, nothing heavy or anything but it scared the crap out of me and I was so scared that I was going to lose our baby. I called the hospital and they said to rest in bed and that it should stop, which it did. Although Mark had left a number for me to get in touch with him, I didn't call, I wanted to give him chance to think. He came back and I told him what had happened and he wanted to know why I didn't call.
I had my fisrt ultrasound booked for the end of October, and Mark and I still hadn't decided what we were going to do. Then I came home for lunch one day about a week before the scan was due and Mark asked if we could try again and be a proper family for this baby. Needles to say, he came to every scan and even made it to a few of my antenatal appointments. Then on the 26th May 2001, there was not a prouder Daddy in all the world than Mark when Connor came into the world.
When Connor was 15 weeks old we flew to the USA to visit with my Dad and step mother in Florida. We arrive on the 8th Sept. Due to some serious meddling on my step mothers behalf Mark and I agreed to married on Sunday the 9th sept, picked up our marriage license on sept the 11th. At this point we did dicuss postponing the wedding due to that tragic day, but it brought to light that life is too short and that you never know what's going to happen, so on Thursday sept 13th, Mark and I were married, with Connor as our page boy/ring bearer(!), my sister as the flower girl and the only other guests were my parents and my dad's boss and his wife as our witnesses.
Now, here we are, more than 2 years later and wanting to add another ray of sunshine to our little family, but this time it will be in very different circumstances and this "little one", when he/she is finally conceived, can rest assured that it will be loved and very much wanted right from the very start. All we are waiting for is AF to rear her ugly head for hopefully the last time for a long time and our little "Boo" won't be too long in gracing us with his/her presence.