My first journal entry-ahhhhh how refreshing. I am writing to myself here- hoping that this month will be the conception month. I'm a little bummed out that we went to Hawaii on our 5th wedding anniversary last month and didn't conceive there, but I know God has a plan for us. While we were away we BD'd so often, so I am a little nervous that we won't be "doing it" as much here at home and that the chances are much more slim. I thought we were preggo from all of the symptoms, but again like many women, the mind plays evil tricks on us. And I wasn't sure about wanting children, but after taking tests thinking we were preggo and crying when I found out I wasn't, I now know it is our time to have kids.
We started fertility friend to see how that works out. It is so cute. Hubby wakes up early for work and after he showers he wakes me up, HE takes my temp and charts. I love it. I told him I don't want to be alone in this and he offered to be MY nurse, since I care for so many other people as a real nurse.
So we are now charting and just going to BD every day now around possible o-time.
So hopefully in about 10 more months I will look back on this entry and think "remember when you were sitting in the office after taking Poppy to the Neurosurgeon getting great news, the 4th anniversary of Gram's passing and a Matt Dusk concert at World Cafe Live"- how stressed I am over all this, and for nothing after a little miracle is headed our way!
I am charting, and this morning I went way down, I think. I've never done this before, so I hope I will O soon. We will definitely be BDing this weekend just in case. Hubby bought a "wedge" for V-day one year, which we haven't used in a long time. We pulled it out the other night. After the little guys enter, I plan on hanging out on the wedge to give them a better chance. I hope God has a plan for us this month, and to get hubby moving with the spare bedroom!
So I am definitley getting closer with O this month. Right before the Eagles game today I checked CM and it is very sticky. I yelled down to DH and told him we should BD and he ran up the stairs stripping his clothes off. Again we used the wedge, as it is way fun anyway, and I OG'd twice, waiting for him to. When I asked him if he did, he said plainly, "no" and we were both laughing so hard. We flipped our little tool around and went at it again and he finally OG'd and again I did after him. Finally the Eagles kicked some Lions butt in the throw back jersey's today, so hopefully we had some luck. I have been feeling some pains in lower right side. I hope this can be our month!
OK, so my temps went up this morning but there were no crosshairs on FF saying I O'd. I asked some of my GF's on here why it didn't show and they said it would take about 3 days for FF to confirm. I am nervous that we didn't BD last night, but we did the day before so hopefully that will cover us. I have a feeling that I am Oing now though, so we are going to bed in a couple of minutes
I also found out a girl I work with had a m/c about a month ago, so sad. But she feels that they were able to get pregnant at age 38 (her) and 40 (him), so they will keep trying. I wish them lots of luck.
My other co-workers last day is this friday and I set-up a little baby shower for her....I don't know what I'm going to do without her all these months, ugh. Hopefully we will havea June baby!
Today I found out one of my co-workers had a m/c (officially she told me) and she had a great attitude about it....knowing that they COULD get pregnant. Then we had a baby shower after work for another co-worker, and one of my old co-workers brought her baby to the shower who is 3 months old. I got to hold her and all of my co-workers kept asking me when it was my turn b/c I look so good with kids and I responded, "no way, not now"- which is a lie- it is so hard to hold it in that we want a baby right now and not tell anyone.
Then one of the therapists that we use told me she is pregnant, and that another one of our clients just had a m/c. It is so hard right now with all of these pregnant women around us.....and we are just hoping we can get a baby by next summer.
Today I feel a little crampy, but am confused as to when I actually O'd. I hope FF can mark my chart by tomorrow. I am so greatful that the women on this board actually help each other out.
Yesterday was a weird day, but fun too. We entered our little beagle in a costume contest down the shore. Hubby made a cardboard dog house, spray painted it red, and put a little woodstock on top of it. We had the Peanuts theme song playing on the Ipod, and dressed our little "girl" up as Snoopy with her doogles and a red scarf I made in the car on the ride down. She met a TV personality and many other dogs. It cost us $10 to enter, we got a t-shirt, frisbee, bandana, and key chain.
They announced the winners about 2 hours later and we came in 3rd out of 32 dogs. We won a gift card to a restaurant down the shore and Bailey won a medal with "3rd place best dressed small dog"- then I saw my 2nd grade teacher I haven't seen since 2nd grade was a judge. She looked pretty frail, and left once the judging was over, so I didn't get to say hi.
Before we left for that I was brushing my hair in the BR, no shirt on and saw a mole on the side of my breast and felt it and right next to it was a lump. I had hubby feel it and he said it definitely was there. Today I went and saw GYN and she thinks it might be part of my skin. But almost every female in my family has had breast cancer, so I made an appointment with a breast cancer specialist for a 2nd opinion. I got a referral for my first mammogram also. So I am a little stressed out.
I also talked with my GYN as to us trying- she will wait until January to start tests if we don't get prg by then, which was when I stopped BCP's last year but really haven't started trying until August 2007. I asked her about pain during intercourse, meds I am taking, an U/S I had done in July and us taking charge of our fertility by charting and timing intercourse. She was very patient and took her time with us, which was a first in that office. I think I will stick with her in the future! Hubby was cute while we were sitting there, we BD'd last night for "the fun of it" and he said it was awesome & special. He is too cute.
Now I will test on 10/13/07, the day of my SIL's baby shower, and hopefully will keep a secret from all of our family!
This is my symptom journal entry. I shouldn't be so hopeful to be let down so easily, but some of them have been strong.
1-8 DPO: most noticeable have been the hot flashes. I am typically comfortable in the heat and in my office it is cold, and one of my co-workers is going through the Big M right now and was wearing a sweater and I had sleeveless on. She asked me if I was sick or something, I told her I was feeling hot and another co-worker came and felt my back and forehead and she said it felt like I was running a fever. Clear mucousy nose, headaches, breakouts on face, chest and back, tingly feeling in abdomen with some cramping. My hubby must hate me by now, I have been so short tempered with him.
9 DPO: very sad in morning and crying b/c my temp dipped below coverline and I started brown spotting, and felt kind-of cold. I thought it was over and that my LP is very short (until I have currently been reading that this is a great pg sign!). Upset with GYN who told me at appointment last week cysts on ovaries are normal and she wouldn't start looking into infertility until January. Don't feel like BDing right now with Hubby which is making him upset.
10 DPO: TEMP rose! It went back up above crosshairs, I am still tingly in abdomen, and still brown spotting. Hopefully it is still implanting (if that is what this all really is about). My nose is running again and my face is flushed again. Feel constipated. Nipples are just a little sore, not much. Am very tired but I went back to sleep this morning and it felt great!
I might test tomorrow, or will hold out until next Saturday as that was my promise to myself since being saddened by BFN last month!
Hubby & I agreed last night to wait and test on Friday- he doesn't want me testing Saturday morning b/c if it is a BFP, it will be hard to hold the news in at my SIL's shower. I have been waking up in the middle of the night very frequently, this morning my nose kept running and I kept sneezing, spotting hardly at all now, pretty crampy, some breakouts on my face & neck, asked hubby this am if he thought my breasts were any larger and he said he didn't think so (they are hardly sore at all), a little swelling feeling in my feet, flushed face off/on, very moody- I keep snapping easily, tired, my temp went down a little bit this morning. So I thought AF was coming, but........
I broke down and tested. I got BFP on 11 DPO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hubby left for school tonight and we made a pact to test on Friday morning. He wanted to BD tonight and I haven't been feeling well. While sitting watching TV I decided to test since I hadn't gone to BR for about 2 hours, so then we could BD tonight without me worrying if what I have been feeling is pg or not.
I had 2 EPT's in the closet, I put the cap on and set it down and the line started to show! I couldn't believe my eyes, I started to cry and thought who could I call- No one! I only told my one gf who is due in about 2 weeks that we were TTC and I didn't have my cell with her home phone number, hubby accidently took my phone to school.
I wanted to surprise him in a special way, so I quickly went to Babies R Us, got a 3T shirt that says "I'm the big sister", went to Target and got ClearBlue Easy "pregnant/not pregnant" worded prg test, a "we're expecting" card for hubby, and then to the Dollar store for pink & blue latex balloons.
I got home, put the pregnancy test in a gift bag w/ pink & blue tissue paper, the card, tied the balloons to the bag, and put the shirt on my dog, Beagle Bailey. I set-up the video camera pointing towards front door and waited for Hubby to call to say he was on his way home. He did and said he would be 10 minutes.
I started getting butterflys in stomach, he walked in and says "Bailey what did mommy dress you up in now (not even reading the shirt, he walked over to give me a kiss hello and I grabbed the bag & balloons from around the corner and he was like "no way!!!!!!!"- he threw it down (without even looking in/at it) and came over and picked me up and swung me around saying I can't believe it! I love you! And he kept saying it while kissing me, with the video camera going. We weren't in the picture but you can hear us. Then I told him to look in the bag and he saw the test and read the card. Then I told him to go read the shirt Bailey had on, and he felt embarrassed he didn't even read it when he first walked in!
I will take the ClearBlue test tomorrow morning with FMU to get that "pregnant" result- yeah!
It was one of the best moments of my life.
Now we are waiting until I show first or Thanksgiving to tell ANYONE. Wish me luck, I have a very hard time keeping secrets (especially since my SIL's baby shower is this Saturday). Please say a little prayer this will be a safe pregnancy. Thanks everyone.
Here are some pics: