Crazy baby-obsessed lady over here!

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Crazy baby-obsessed lady over here!

It feels like something has changed the last few months...DH and I got married just over 2 years ago, and back then babies were for "someday". I guess something in me "snapped" this past fall..maybe it was because our financial situation got better, or because I seem to be constantly surrounded by adorable little ones, or maybe it was just time. I needed to set "the date". We thought maybe a in a year...fall of 2005. Oh man, did *that* ever get the baby fever going! By the time I actually get pregnant, I won't have anything left to read up on! :oops: I've always been a cautious over planner. When we started seriously talking about TTC, DH always looked like he was about to pass out or throw up or something. But now, he just sort of grins, and whispers "Soon, honey...don't worry, SOON!". It's amazing...I still don't quite know what brought the change about.

Our "date" has varied from June to next February...right now it's looking like June! DH is hoping to join the military...right now he is working hard to get in shape. Once that's figured out, it's all systems go! Wink

I took my last birth control pill on March 5, after 4 years straight; I'm really interested to see how my body is going to react. Today was my 2nd day of actually missing pills, I doubt that my body has really caught on yet. I hear that getting off the pill can cause lots of pregnancy type side affects...makes me glad we are using other methods for a few months, otherwise I'd probably being buying HPT's every day! Lol I am taking pre-natal vitamins every day, and am really trying hard to eat better. I hate to cook, and I work evenings, so when I get home at 12:30 am I pretty much want something that will fall into my mouth when I open the cupboard. Tonight I actually ate baby carrots! This required actually opening up a bag (and finding veggie dip, too). Blum 3

I also started charting this cycle...the anal-retentive type A person in me loves it! I'm still learning the lingo though...I get lost on some of those FF boards.

Wow, this is long...better head off to bed and snuggle up to my sweetie! Just the thought of actually TTC makes me a little randy...somehow I don't think he minds. Wink

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I went to Chapters yesterday and bought "Taking Charge of Your Fertility"...what an awesome book! I couldn't put it down and ended up taking it to work with me to read on my lunch break...I kind of tried to hide it because there are quite a few rather graphic diagrams that some people may not want to see while eating. :shock: Very educational though.

Even though DH and I have not even started trying yet, I have this nagging fear in the back of my mind that we will have problems. My mom had no problem getting pregnant; my brother and I were both conceived on the first try. DH's parents took 8 YEARS to conceive him, but it wasn't sperm related so hopefully DH is fine. He did have an infection a few years ago; the doctor said there's a small chance it may have affected his fertility, but he thinks it was caught and treated in time. Only time will tell, I guess. I don't think we have any real reason to worry, but that thought is always there...

I'm also worried about how wonky my cycles are going to be now...I actually went on the pill because of unpredictable cycles (anywhere from 27-35 days) and I was tired of ruining every pair of undies I own :? . Now that I've read more about it I've learned that this actually isn't considered "irregular" (anything between 24-35 days is normal), and many women have varying cycles each month. And here I thought I was the exception! Who knows if I was ovulating each month, but I've never missed a period in 10 years of having them, so I guess that's a good sign. I'm eager to see that temperature jump on my chart and get the eggwhite CM...the sooner the better!

I just found out today that we are getting a car this weekend!!!! DH and I have been living without a car for 2 years; now we can afford one and my parents are selling us their car for about a third of what it's worth...gotta love parents! No more hauling 30lbs of groceries on the bus for me!! Biggrin I am so baby obsessed, one of the first things I thought of when I found out the car deal was going through was "Wow, DH is probably going to drive me to the hospital in that car when I'm in labour!". I need help. Blum 3

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Well, cycle #1 officially ended today while I was at a work meeting...of course the boss (who is actually really awesome) wouldn't close the meeting, even though it was supposed to end 1/2 an hour before, while the :witch: was painfully announcing her arrival.

Ok, so I was good and charted faithfully the whole cycle, and checked my CM too (still learning that one). Looks like I had a pretty "textbook" cycle; O'd on day 13, 14 day luteal phase. Sweet! I consider myself very lucky.

DH is getting more baby crazy...he had a dream that we had a sweet little red headed daughter. Biggrin He loves red headed babies, maybe because his little sister is a carrot top. He has darkish brown hair, and I'm blonde. His sis is adopted. I guess it could still happen though; my grandfather was a red head and I have his super pale complexion. DH's mom's hair even turned red when she was preggo with him. Neat! I don't really care about hair colour (or if there's hair at all!), so long as he or she is healthy.

June is not so far away... Wink

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DH and I went down to the farmer's market yesterday morning...it's the first time we've gone since fall. One lady had a booth set up with all of this adorable home made baby stuff; I just about melted right then and there. DH had to talk me out of buying these sweet little scratch mitts; I made a promise to myself that I would not buy *anything* for the baby until we are actually PG. If we do take a long time to conceive, I don't want the option of staring at those scratch mitts over and over.

I am so addicted to this board and FF; every morning I get online to update my chart, and the hour between when I get home from work and when DH gets home is almost always spent on the boards. I love reading posts from other women as baby-crazy as I am. I think it has given me a more realistic perspective in regards to TTC as well...as much as I'd love to get pregnant our first month trying, I know that's not likely. If I do get my March baby I will feel so blessed, but maybe after reading about so many others' frustrations I won't feel so devestated if AF shows up a few times before she decides to take her 10 month vacation. Wink

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On Monday DH and I went for a walk in the river valley after dinner...the buds are just starting to show on the trees, and the grass is greening up! It was beautiful out, and very romantic. Of course, we started talking about babies...and talking, and talking. It just felt right. So, to make a long story short...we are now "unofficially" TTC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last month I O'd on day 13, and this month my chart looks like my body had the same plan, but changed it's mind at the last minute. This means we're still in the game this month! We BD'd last night, and my temp jumped this morning. If I did O yesterday, I'll be POAS a few days before mother's day. Now a January baby doesn't sound bad at all! Biggrin

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Couldn't hold out 'till mother's day. It's 3am, 10DPO. I just took a "real" PG test (where I thought the outcome might be positive) for the first time; a FRER.

BFN.

I promised myself I was going to wait until at least 12DPO, but a few days ago a woman on FF got her BFP at 10DPO. Well, that was it. Why wait to know when I could know now?

I'm trying to cheer myself up...you know, 10DPO is still really early, it doesn't mean you're not pregnant. I feel so disappointed.

This 2WW is killing me...I wish I just knew one way or the other. Of course there's the "symptoms"...I feel queasy, tired, nipples are crazy sore, crazy mood swings, crying at sappy commercials. I wonder if I want to be pregnant SO bad that I am making all of this up in my head. I wondered how women in the 2WW could do that...now I know.

DH doesn't even seem to care. He didn't want me to test until Monday. He's peacefully sleeping, despite the drunken couple fighting in the apartment above us. I know that he thinks about it a lot, but at least he's not the one reading into every symptom, agonizing over when to test and then testing and regretting it. Sad

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I'm not holding out much hope for this month...temps are starting to drop and the witch should show up on Thursday. I took another FRER yesterday (12DPO) and it was a BFN.

To make things even worse my spring allergies are really bad right now...I've rubbed and scratched my eyes so much that they are puffy and sore. Most allergy medications haven't been proven safe for pregnant women so I'm stuck with regular old Benadryl...I took 2 last night and slept 12 hours straight. I can't be on the verge of passing out at work, so I just get to suffer and try not to scratch my eyes, nose, and roof of my mouth (that last one looks really attractive, I'll tell ya Lol ) I wish I knew for sure that I wasn't PG; I would pump myself so full of Reactine it wouldn't even be funny. And if I knew I was PG than I wouldn't mind the suffering.

At least next month we will be on vacation during my fertile time...DH access 24/7! Woo hoo! Biggrin

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Dear Aunt Flo,

If you insist on continuing to visit me, even though it has been made quite clear that you are not welcome, I ask that you show a little common courtesy. First of all, please do not arrive at 4 AM when I have to get up in a few hours for work and will now be unable to get back to sleep...that is simply impolite. Second, the fact that you have shown your witchy self is bad enough...do you really need to bring your friends Cramps and Diarrhea with you? Come now...that's just adding insult to injury. Well, now that you're here there's nothing I can do, but once again I ask you to PLEASE TAKE A 10 MONTH VACATION. Take a hint, Flo.

Sincerely, Tara

For the next 2 weeks until O time I plan to enjoy my "pre-pregnancy" pleasures...here we come allergy meds! Yay, the good stuff! I'm also looking forward to hanging out with my corn snake Ruby again (you're not supposed to handle reptiles while pregnant as they can carry salmonella)...I've missed her! She is the cutest little thing, and I totally talk baby talk to her. Oh man, I BABY TALK TO A FRIGGIN' SNAKE!!! :roll: I need to have a real baby, bad!!! Lol

*Sigh* On to next month...

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Tomorrow is the 10 year anniversary of my 1st period (I'm really good with dates!). It's weird, I remember it like it was yesterday; I was 13 (going on 14), and I was at my best *guy* friend's house for lunch on a school day! I remember just being relieved that I had finally gotten it, as I was the last of my group.

Hmm...10 years later and now I'll be relieved not to have her visit! Now that I've finished my first cycle of TTC I know that for me, waiting to O is SO much easier than waiting to test! Way less pressure. Right now I'm just looking forward to my vacation (we fly out to see DH's parents on Friday night) and spending lots of time with my DH.

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I'm 6DPO today (not sure why my ticker's not working, I'll have to look into that). We told DH's parents that we're trying...they were happy about it! We were a bit worried about their reaction (too young, jobs not good enough, etc) but they were cool about it. My parents have an idea we're trying (we told them June); I think we'll just surprise them with a preggo announcement, the sooner the better!

I am considerably more relaxed this 2WW...after last month's "symptoms" and BFN's I am a bit gun shy. I have promised myself that I will not test until 14DPO, May 31. Just over a week to go until I find out if I get my February baby!

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What is with me??? Now that I'm in the 4th week of my cycle, I am starting to obsess...not this again! I think what's getting me is my chart...it's looking triphasic! Temps went up another .4 degrees or so at 6DPO and have stayed there so far. I am still sticking to my guns in regards to my test date...only 6 days to go!

I wish I was more computer savvy...I used to know how to do HTML and stuff in high school but now I can't even figure out how to put my FF ticker with a link to my FF homepage on this website. Or get an avatar, or blinkie...I feel kind of dumb. Sad Off to the tech support boards I go!

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I fixed my ticker, all by myself!! I know I sound like a 5 year old right now, but I'm proud none the less. Wink

DH and I are back home now. On Thursday we went to Cedar Point in Ohio to celebrate DH's 23rd birthday (DH's parents live in the southern most part of Canada, about an hour east of Detroit. We are way out in western Canada). Since Canada doesn't have Dollar Tree stores, I had to stock up on tests whilst on our trip. You should have seen the look on the little old cashier lady's face when I said "10 pregnancy tests, please". :shock: I quickly explained that I couldn't get them in Canada, but she still looked a little shocked. The fact that I was wearing zero makeup and looked about 16-17 couldn't have helped either! I thought I'd have to declare them at the border, but thankfully the guy didn't ask!

I really was going to wait until Tuesday to test, but then I came in the bedroom as DH was unpacking to see one lonely little test sitting out all by itself. I couldn't just leave it there! :roll: BFN, of course. I was dissapointed, but not as much as last month. Still, it seems like when something like that happens all you see on TV are pregnant women (new Dove commercial they played about 5 times) and cute little kids. Sad

I don't think this is our month (call it a feeling), but I still have hope; temp is still up. AF should rear her ugly head tomorrow or Wednesday. If my temp is still high tomorrow, I will test; it has never still been high 14DPO. Otherwise, you will be treated to another cranky editoral asking AF to get the heck out of here!

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*Sigh*...well, cycle #2 is a bust. I knew the witch was coming today, but it was a disappointment none the less. At least now I know for sure and can look forward to trying for a March baby.

I am trying to stay really positive right now; it may sound ridiculous, but already I have my moments when I think "why is this taking so long? are we EVER going to get pregnant?". I am relying on my faith, and praying for patience and understanding. I am counting my blessings:

-my body got right back on track after getting off the pill; this seems to be the exception rather than the rule
-we have time on our side; we are only 23 years old
-we are blessed with a good income right now, and are able to save money in preparation for me becoming a SAHM
-I have a good knowledge of my body and how my cycles work; this will give me an advantage over the average TTC'er who isn't charting or checking fertility signs

I'm bleeding like a stuck pig but happy! But still....please oh please let June be our month!

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Nothing to report tonight, this is a pretty boring part of my cycle. I'm hoping to O on June 14 (CD14), that way if I concieved I would be due on my mother in law's birthday!

A co-worker of mine is pregnant; around 13 weeks I think. She is just starting to pop out and wear maternity clothes...so cute! It wasn't a planned pregancy at all...her boyfriend and her were in the midst of breaking up when she found out (I'm still not sure what's going on there). She is just starting to like the idea. She knows that we are trying, and she actually said "I feel bad...this should be you." I was kind of blown away by that; I am truly, truly happy for her. I guess if places were exchanged I would feel the same way. But for now I can live vicariously through her.

Life is just sort of plodding along right now...work is pretty boring, I'm a teacher at a private company but I don't have a class right now so I'm doing a lot of paperwork stuff. I just feel kind of blah. Tomorrow I'm going to go buy a Pilates mat and start working out again, maybe that will help.

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Today when I went to the bathroom and did my CM check (sorry if that's TMI...but if it is...why are you reading a TTC journal?? Lol ) I noticed a LOT of EWCM. Hmph. I hardly ever get EWCM. Residual leftovers from last night's round of fun? (sorry, that IS TMI!!) Tried the dropping it in water trick. Sure enough, it balled up instead of dissolving as semen would. Now I'm excited!

I call James and tell him that tonight looks like the night...but I'm working a little late, and he's got a meeting, so we won't cross paths until late. Sad A little later I start to feel an ache in my right side. I'm stuck at work with a class and my eggie is on it's way!

I go to my 6 pm class...James will be leaving for the meeting at 7. Only ONE student shows up. Could it be??? CLASS IS CANCELLED!!! Finish up a few quick odds and ends, and then I'm on the phone. James, pick me up now, we've got 15 minutes and we're going to make the best of it!

Needless to say, DH was a tad late for his meeting. Wink

Oh please please please please let this be our month!!!

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Sure enough, I did ovulate the night we had our "quickie". :oops: AND it was June 14th just like I was hoping, which would make me due on my MIL's birthday! That would be so awesome!

I am 10DPO and starting to get antsy. I am on the FF boards a lot; I really need to stop reading the posts that start out "10 DPO....BFP!". This is SO petty, but the girls who exclaim "Got PG the first try!" or get their BFP's before 12DPO really annoy me. I'm absolutely jealous and I fully admit it. :oops: How petty of me. :cry:

As far as this month goes...I'm (cautiously) optimistic. CM has been a problem for me, but this month seems to have clicked. As far as possible "symptoms" go...
-moods are OK generally, but I tend to snap and overreact at stuff
-boobs are mildly sore, at the top and sides
-I am TIRED! I went to bed at 7:30pm last night at slept until 5:30am this morning! That's 10 hours, and now I feel great and well rested, vs. feeling icky like I overslept

So, I'm either pregnant or have PMS and am super lazy. :roll:

Last month I pooped out on my resolve to wait until 14DPO...this month I am super resolved to wait until the 29th, as FF is advising. It's going to be hard but I can do it! I told myself last month that I was only going to test on 14DPO if my temp stayed up, which it didn't. This month if my temp is down before 15DPO, I am going to let time tell. I want my next test to be a BFP!

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WE DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time to end this TTC journal and start up a pregnancy one... Smile

Yesterday, at 13DPO, I couldn't help by buy a FRER test at the drug store. Then, I couldn't even wait until I got home to take the test! (Even though I promised myself I wouldn't test until 15DPO, yeah right!) I learned I was pregnant in the stall of a mall food court washroom; so romantic and memorable! Lol

I will never forget the walk to the bus stop from that washroom; I'm sure I was white as a sheet (which is saying something, considering I'm Nicole Kidman white normally) and my legs were like Jello. Of course, I missed my bus so I paced up and down the sidewalk like a crazy person, muttering to myself and sneaking peeks at the positive test in my purse. Then, of course, DH decided to stop and pick up a few things and put oil in the car so he was late...by the time I told him I was just about ready to lose it. He was happy but didn't seem at all surprised. Men!

Three positive tests later, I'm still in disbelief. I am going for a doctor's test to confirm tomorrow, but this looks like the real deal. I'm tired, queasy in the morning, I'm hungry all the time, smells bother me and I am craving Wendy's hamburgers like crazy!

To those of you who have kept up with my journal, good luck in your own TTC journey and I hope to see you soon in the pregnancy journal thread!