It feels like something has changed the last few months...DH and I got married just over 2 years ago, and back then babies were for "someday". I guess something in me "snapped" this past fall..maybe it was because our financial situation got better, or because I seem to be constantly surrounded by adorable little ones, or maybe it was just time. I needed to set "the date". We thought maybe a in a year...fall of 2005. Oh man, did *that* ever get the baby fever going! By the time I actually get pregnant, I won't have anything left to read up on! I've always been a cautious over planner. When we started seriously talking about TTC, DH always looked like he was about to pass out or throw up or something. But now, he just sort of grins, and whispers "Soon, honey...don't worry, SOON!". It's amazing...I still don't quite know what brought the change about.
Our "date" has varied from June to next February...right now it's looking like June! DH is hoping to join the military...right now he is working hard to get in shape. Once that's figured out, it's all systems go!
I took my last birth control pill on March 5, after 4 years straight; I'm really interested to see how my body is going to react. Today was my 2nd day of actually missing pills, I doubt that my body has really caught on yet. I hear that getting off the pill can cause lots of pregnancy type side affects...makes me glad we are using other methods for a few months, otherwise I'd probably being buying HPT's every day! I am taking pre-natal vitamins every day, and am really trying hard to eat better. I hate to cook, and I work evenings, so when I get home at 12:30 am I pretty much want something that will fall into my mouth when I open the cupboard. Tonight I actually ate baby carrots! This required actually opening up a bag (and finding veggie dip, too). :P
I also started charting this cycle...the anal-retentive type A person in me loves it! I'm still learning the lingo though...I get lost on some of those FF boards.
Wow, this is long...better head off to bed and snuggle up to my sweetie! Just the thought of actually TTC makes me a little randy...somehow I don't think he minds.
I went to Chapters yesterday and bought "Taking Charge of Your Fertility"...what an awesome book! I couldn't put it down and ended up taking it to work with me to read on my lunch break...I kind of tried to hide it because there are quite a few rather graphic diagrams that some people may not want to see while eating. Very educational though.
Even though DH and I have not even started trying yet, I have this nagging fear in the back of my mind that we will have problems. My mom had no problem getting pregnant; my brother and I were both conceived on the first try. DH's parents took 8 YEARS to conceive him, but it wasn't sperm related so hopefully DH is fine. He did have an infection a few years ago; the doctor said there's a small chance it may have affected his fertility, but he thinks it was caught and treated in time. Only time will tell, I guess. I don't think we have any real reason to worry, but that thought is always there...
I'm also worried about how wonky my cycles are going to be now...I actually went on the pill because of unpredictable cycles (anywhere from 27-35 days) and I was tired of ruining every pair of undies I own . Now that I've read more about it I've learned that this actually isn't considered "irregular" (anything between 24-35 days is normal), and many women have varying cycles each month. And here I thought I was the exception! Who knows if I was ovulating each month, but I've never missed a period in 10 years of having them, so I guess that's a good sign. I'm eager to see that temperature jump on my chart and get the eggwhite CM...the sooner the better!
I just found out today that we are getting a car this weekend!!!! DH and I have been living without a car for 2 years; now we can afford one and my parents are selling us their car for about a third of what it's worth...gotta love parents! No more hauling 30lbs of groceries on the bus for me!! I am so baby obsessed, one of the first things I thought of when I found out the car deal was going through was "Wow, DH is probably going to drive me to the hospital in that car when I'm in labour!". I need help. :P
Well, cycle #1 officially ended today while I was at a work meeting...of course the boss (who is actually really awesome) wouldn't close the meeting, even though it was supposed to end 1/2 an hour before, while the was painfully announcing her arrival.
Ok, so I was good and charted faithfully the whole cycle, and checked my CM too (still learning that one). Looks like I had a pretty "textbook" cycle; O'd on day 13, 14 day luteal phase. Sweet! I consider myself very lucky.
DH is getting more baby crazy...he had a dream that we had a sweet little red headed daughter. He loves red headed babies, maybe because his little sister is a carrot top. He has darkish brown hair, and I'm blonde. His sis is adopted. I guess it could still happen though; my grandfather was a red head and I have his super pale complexion. DH's mom's hair even turned red when she was preggo with him. Neat! I don't really care about hair colour (or if there's hair at all!), so long as he or she is healthy.
June is not so far away...
DH and I went down to the farmer's market yesterday morning...it's the first time we've gone since fall. One lady had a booth set up with all of this adorable home made baby stuff; I just about melted right then and there. DH had to talk me out of buying these sweet little scratch mitts; I made a promise to myself that I would not buy *anything* for the baby until we are actually PG. If we do take a long time to conceive, I don't want the option of staring at those scratch mitts over and over.
I am so addicted to this board and FF; every morning I get online to update my chart, and the hour between when I get home from work and when DH gets home is almost always spent on the boards. I love reading posts from other women as baby-crazy as I am. I think it has given me a more realistic perspective in regards to TTC as well...as much as I'd love to get pregnant our first month trying, I know that's not likely. If I do get my March baby I will feel so blessed, but maybe after reading about so many others' frustrations I won't feel so devestated if AF shows up a few times before she decides to take her 10 month vacation.
On Monday DH and I went for a walk in the river valley after dinner...the buds are just starting to show on the trees, and the grass is greening up! It was beautiful out, and very romantic. Of course, we started talking about babies...and talking, and talking. It just felt right. So, to make a long story short...we are now "unofficially" TTC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last month I O'd on day 13, and this month my chart looks like my body had the same plan, but changed it's mind at the last minute. This means we're still in the game this month! We BD'd last night, and my temp jumped this morning. If I did O yesterday, I'll be POAS a few days before mother's day. Now a January baby doesn't sound bad at all!
Couldn't hold out 'till mother's day. It's 3am, 10DPO. I just took a "real" PG test (where I thought the outcome might be positive) for the first time; a FRER.
I promised myself I was going to wait until at least 12DPO, but a few days ago a woman on FF got her BFP at 10DPO. Well, that was it. Why wait to know when I could know now?
I'm trying to cheer myself up...you know, 10DPO is still really early, it doesn't mean you're not pregnant. I feel so disappointed.
This 2WW is killing me...I wish I just knew one way or the other. Of course there's the "symptoms"...I feel queasy, tired, nipples are crazy sore, crazy mood swings, crying at sappy commercials. I wonder if I want to be pregnant SO bad that I am making all of this up in my head. I wondered how women in the 2WW could do that...now I know.
DH doesn't even seem to care. He didn't want me to test until Monday. He's peacefully sleeping, despite the drunken couple fighting in the apartment above us. I know that he thinks about it a lot, but at least he's not the one reading into every symptom, agonizing over when to test and then testing and regretting it.
I'm not holding out much hope for this month...temps are starting to drop and the witch should show up on Thursday. I took another FRER yesterday (12DPO) and it was a BFN.
To make things even worse my spring allergies are really bad right now...I've rubbed and scratched my eyes so much that they are puffy and sore. Most allergy medications haven't been proven safe for pregnant women so I'm stuck with regular old Benadryl...I took 2 last night and slept 12 hours straight. I can't be on the verge of passing out at work, so I just get to suffer and try not to scratch my eyes, nose, and roof of my mouth (that last one looks really attractive, I'll tell ya ) I wish I knew for sure that I wasn't PG; I would pump myself so full of Reactine it wouldn't even be funny. And if I knew I was PG than I wouldn't mind the suffering.
At least next month we will be on vacation during my fertile time...DH access 24/7! Woo hoo!
Dear Aunt Flo,
If you insist on continuing to visit me, even though it has been made quite clear that you are not welcome, I ask that you show a little common courtesy. First of all, please do not arrive at 4 AM when I have to get up in a few hours for work and will now be unable to get back to sleep...that is simply impolite. Second, the fact that you have shown your witchy self is bad enough...do you really need to bring your friends Cramps and Diarrhea with you? Come now...that's just adding insult to injury. Well, now that you're here there's nothing I can do, but once again I ask you to PLEASE TAKE A 10 MONTH VACATION. Take a hint, Flo.
For the next 2 weeks until O time I plan to enjoy my "pre-pregnancy" pleasures...here we come allergy meds! Yay, the good stuff! I'm also looking forward to hanging out with my corn snake Ruby again (you're not supposed to handle reptiles while pregnant as they can carry salmonella)...I've missed her! She is the cutest little thing, and I totally talk baby talk to her. Oh man, I BABY TALK TO A FRIGGIN' SNAKE!!! I need to have a real baby, bad!!!
*Sigh* On to next month...
Tomorrow is the 10 year anniversary of my 1st period (I'm really good with dates!). It's weird, I remember it like it was yesterday; I was 13 (going on 14), and I was at my best *guy* friend's house for lunch on a school day! I remember just being relieved that I had finally gotten it, as I was the last of my group.
Hmm...10 years later and now I'll be relieved not to have her visit! Now that I've finished my first cycle of TTC I know that for me, waiting to O is SO much easier than waiting to test! Way less pressure. Right now I'm just looking forward to my vacation (we fly out to see DH's parents on Friday night) and spending lots of time with my DH.
I'm 6DPO today (not sure why my ticker's not working, I'll have to look into that). We told DH's parents that we're trying...they were happy about it! We were a bit worried about their reaction (too young, jobs not good enough, etc) but they were cool about it. My parents have an idea we're trying (we told them June); I think we'll just surprise them with a preggo announcement, the sooner the better!
I am considerably more relaxed this 2WW...after last month's "symptoms" and BFN's I am a bit gun shy. I have promised myself that I will not test until 14DPO, May 31. Just over a week to go until I find out if I get my February baby!