Well this seems like the best place to start my journal-amongst other women going thru similar things.

I am a 39 year old mother of 2 girls-16 and 10. I got divorced in early 2003 and dated a man for a man for a little over 3 years before deciding to call it off. I am now living with my wonderful, significantly younger boyfriend and have honestly never been happier in life

In late July on a trip to my parents, my right arm started hurting. The musles, nerves on the bottom and top of it ached almost constantly and a lump that had been in my armpit for years began hurting.

After going to the doctor I was put through a bazillion tests, and they found a lump in my right breast. After scaring the crap out of me and going through even more tests it was determined to be a fibroid tumor. Although my arm still hurts I have sort of given up on discovering what is wrong with it, since all of the possible tests point to nothing!

Anyway, the all clear was given in November and we have been trying since then. I started charting cycles, etc and noticed that I was having sex after intercourse. I probably sound like a moron for not noticing prior but looking back I can see it has been happening since August. I guess I just kinda thought it was because I was older, or because it was close to my period, etc. But now I realize that it is not, there is something going on down there.

Also November and December, I could have sworn I was pregnant. I FELT pregnant. My breasts were large, I had the same "symptoms" I did when I was pregnant with my girls-excess saliva, sick to my stomach, clear discharge from my nipples. But both months, my period came-very heavily. Now I wonder was I pregnant and something happened? Or am I just that obsessed with being pregnant I am going insane?

Anyway, my gyn appointment is next Friday. I have all these paranoid thoughts of something awful being wrong and I won't be able to have more children ugh, patience is something I lack